When the narcissist discards you, or you discard them, they find a new source. They find someone else to attend to them and meet their needs and then they will display this deceptive outward appearance to you. This is designed to fool you. Most of the time they want you to see them with a new source. Not always, but most of the time they do. If they're making it known that there with this new source, it's because they've managed to get into their minds and twist their perception of the situation. Usually by making false damaging statements about you, or trying to harm your good reputation. The new source doesn't know what's really going on, all they know is what's being fed to them by the narcissist. They become locked into this distorted reality, this distorted world which was created by the narcissist.
They're doing this to get back at you, they're doing it to punish you. You're still trying to figure out what happened. They never gave you any closure. You never had the feeling that the emotional or traumatic experience had been resolved, because they never explained why they left. It's hard to accept that they could just move on with this new source. The thought of them spending time with someone else is just too painful to accept. But the narcissist knows that they're causing you pain an they're enjoying it. They're like a junkie getting off on your pain until it's no longer as fun, it's no longer giving them that same feeling anymore. That is when they know they have to escalate it, they have to do more just to get that same feeling again.
Making you aware that they are with someone else is no longer enough to give them that same high. Now they have to show you what they're doing, they have to show you that they're having a good time with this new source. They have to show you that they're having fun and doing lots of amazing things. They will even consciously and intentionally do things with a new source that they never did with you. But they will allow you to see this, they will want you to see it, because it has a major impact to effect on your emotions. It hurts you, it shocks you, which then feeds the narcissist.
Sometimes they will even deliberately target someone who is far less attractive or successful than you are, just as a way of shocking you. It causes you to feel surprised or upset, because you never thought that they would be with someone like that. They know exactly how it's making you feel, which is why they deliberately chose to do that, it's designed to confuse you and make you wonder what is actually going on.
The new source is being told all sorts of negative things about you. They're being told that you were abusive, you were selfish and you only cared about yourself. You never helped or supported them with anything. But this is all done secretly in order to achieve an advantage over you, so it leaves you unable to perceive the truth of what is actually going on, this is all going on without you even knowing.
The narcissist is using the new source to cause you to become hostile and unfriendly towards them. You wonder how could they do this to you. Now it's all over and you're recovering, but you're also still trying to figure out what's going on with them. You want to know if they've really moved on with this new source, if they're really happy with them. But one of the worst things you can do in this situation is to look at their social media. You might be eager to know what they're doing, but it's a trap, it's designed to bait you in so that they can then attack you.
They know exactly what they're doing, they know exactly how it's going to affect you and they are expecting you to be looking, because they left you without any closure. So they know you're going to be wondering what they're doing, but you cannot give in to your curiosity. Looking up their social media is not going to help you, because you're just going to see someone who has no concern for you. They're just doing the same thing they did to you to someone else. Remember when you first met them, how they were playing the victim and telling you how someone did something to them. Everything seemed so fun back then, you were having a good time with them, laughing and doing things that you both enjoyed. Life was good. But remember what happened after that, remember how that then changed into devaluation. Remember how they reduced or underestimated your worth or importance and then finally they discarded you.
Now you're seeing them with someone else. It's the same thing every time, the same thing happens, it's just with a different person. But there will be some differences, they have to customize themselves to be whatever the new source wants to see. So they will do things with them that they didn't do with you. There are certain things they have to do to appeal to the new source and this is also what they will use as an attempt to hurt you. They know that you're going to be looking for them, they know that you're going to be looking for answers and they will be deliberately leaving things behind that are designed to hurt you.
But don't let them fool you, don't let them trick or deceive you. They will never be happy, they will never be satisfied with anyone that they're with. That is why their relationships always move to the devaluation and discard phase.
The narcissist may think that they're fooling you, but they're actually just fooling themselves.