Does The Narcissist Care If You Leave?
The narcissist is focused on getting their own way. They are focused on getting their needs met. But although it may seem that they need you and that they are dependent on you, they will always do the exact opposite of whatever they say they want. Their behaviour is very self-sabotaging. They might tell you that they cannot live without you. They might tell you that you are very special. But then their behaviour will suggest the exact opposite of what they are telling you. They will cause disturbance or problems. Without discipline or control over their behaviour. Which is contrary to what you might desire or expect from someone who is supposed to be working with you. This is when you should identify that the narcissist does not have a sensible or practical idea of what should be expected from them. They have an inability to represent things in a way that is accurate and true to life. They have many conflicting motives within them, which leaves them unable to sustain a relationship. They are fully aware of this. They will cause disturbance and problems and pull things apart, due to their dysfunctional nature.
They are unable to deal adequately with normal social relations. You can tell them something that is bothering you. You can tell them what you don't like. And they might agree with you. They might have the same opinion about something or they will say that they will do something that you have suggested. They will act as though they understand. They will act as though they perceive the intended meaning of your words. They will act as though they understand the significance of what you are telling them. But then, the next day or several days later, they are doing the exact same thing again, which you just spoke about. This is because you're not getting through to them. It may have seemed as though they were understanding what you were telling them. But they weren't really taking into consideration or trying to understand anything that you were saying. They were just listening so that you would eventually finish talking to them or trying to get them to understand so that they don't have to listen to you any more. Or they were just waiting for you to finishing talking so that they could say whatever they wanted to say. But they do not understand. And they are not interested in correcting or changing anything about their behaviour. Instead, they will use future faking. They will lie or promise something about your possible future, to make you hopeful, to make you expect more from them. This is a tactic which they use to control you and in order to get what they want from you in the present. It makes you more understanding of them when they have no intention or interest in correcting or changing their behaviour. They will also consciously and intentionally do things that they know you don't like. As a way of lowering your expectations of them. When they begin to act out, it tells them how much they can get away with, until you finally react to them. This is when they will withdraw from you or give you a fake apology. But they are only doing this to control you. It helps them to determine your behaviour. And it is telling them how capable you are of being directed or influenced. It's giving them suggestions and ideas on how to manipulate you. Until you finally reach the limits of your emotional or mental limitations. Until their behaviour becomes unbearable and you are unable to cope.
They know exactly when to stop until they then bring you back to them by using the future faking, fake apology or the fake epiphany. If you fall for these tactics, the narcissist begins to see it as a game. They see it as an activity that provides them with amusement or fun. You become their toy, an object for them to play with. They do not regard you as something that holds any real importance, worth or usefulness. And that is why it is so easy for them to tell you that they cannot live without you or tell you that you are very special. But then engage in behaviour that suggests the exact opposite of what they are telling you. It's just a game to them. Something that they engage in for amusement or fun. It gives them attention. It makes them feel as though they are something significant or important. It gives them an opportunity to practice their manipulation. It feeds their strong desire for power. Their strong desire to have the ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others and the course of events. It's like the thrill of the chase of them. It gives them a sudden feeling of excitement and pleasure from seeking something that they desire. They get a buzz out of it. They get a kick out of it. They get a charge out of it. It makes them feel alive. They say that they want you, but it's just a game. It's just something that they engage in for amusement or fun. And that's all it ever was, from the day that they met you. You are not involved with someone who shares the same intentions or objectives as you do. You are not involved with someone who wants to establish the same things. There is no purpose or meaning for what you are trying to build with them.
It's just a form of entertainment for them. The game never ends. They don't see any contact or connection as being something of value. They don't see it as something of use or importance. They don't see it as being worthy of their attention. Especially if it is something outside of them. They see anything outside of them as something to be played with. In the end, it's still a game.
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