When the narcissist has discarded you, you may want revenge. You may want them to experience failure. You may want them to lose everything. You may want to hurt them, just like they hurt you. Because you think that will make you feel better. But that's not the right way to go about it. That would make you no different to them. And you don't need to do that anyway. Because narcissists always sabotage themselves. They will sabotage their new relationship. Just as they sabotaged their relationship with you. But if you've recently been discarded by the narcissist. It may look like they just rode off into the sunset. They're living their best lives. They think they have it better than you. They think they're superior. They think they're more important. And you just want to take them down a notch. You want to deflate and humble them. Because they're so full of pride and arrogance. They think they're better than everyone.
So you want to damage their ego and pride. You want to bring them back to reality. And there is a way you can do that. Without harming them directly. Without doing anything to affect what they have going on in their lives. And that is by working on yourself. And going back to being the person you were before you got involved with the narcissist. The person that they were attracted to. And then becoming a better version of yourself. If you do that and let them see it, but you reject their hoover attempts. It will destroy their ego. Because they can't deal with rejection. They can't deal with being ignored. Especially if it's from something that they believe they should have. Something that they feel entitled to. Because they had you before. So they believe that you should always belong to them.
Narcissists find pleasure in breaking you down. They find pleasure in your pain. It gives them satisfaction. So the last thing they want to see is you building yourself up. You being happy. Because what really destroys their ego is when they see that you're not affected by their attempts to destroy you. You're still able to do what you need to do. You're still able to live the life that you want to live. You're still able to laugh and smile. Which means that their efforts have gone to waste. Their plan has failed. They didn't get the result that they were intending for. Because now you're even more successful. You look better than you ever did before. You're in better condition than when they first met you. Which destroys them. Because they remember how good things were back then. That's why they lovebombed you. And they would love to have that again. But if they can't, it will crush them.
It will destroy their ego. It will make them realise that they're not as important as they think they are. Because you don't need them. You're able to reject them. And this should be your goal after they've discarded you. To become better than you were before you met them. That is how you destroy the narcissist's ego. There is nothing worse for them than that. Especially when you reject them. Because they know they'll never have that. They'll never become happy and successful. All of their relationships are going to fail. So you don't need to get revenge on the narcissist. You don't need to do anything to them. Just focus on yourself. Focus on your own life. Focus on building yourself up. Making your life better. And don't let them partake in it. Don't let them be a part of it. That is how you do it. And it's not revenge.
It's just a subsequent effect of you becoming better. And they bring it on themselves. Because they don't want you to be happy. They don't want the best for you. They want to see you fail. Because then that tells them they made the right decision by leaving you. But when you do move on and become successful, it leaves their false reality without any support. It shows them that they messed up. Which is why they just want to see your life deteriorate. So they can feel more confident with the new person they're with. Your failure fuels the illusions of their false self. And it may even fuel their new supply. But when you become successful, you're no longer fuelling the illusion. So they can no longer experience that false sense of happiness at your expense. Because they realise they've just made a big mistake. They realise they had the winning lottery ticket. And they just threw it in the trash like it was nothing. Because they thought it was all over for you.
They didn't expect you to bounce back. They didn't expect you to become better than ever before. Which is why this is what you have to do if you want to destroy the narcissist's ego. Build a better lifestyle. Do things that you always wanted to do. Meet new people. While they continue to go down in life. While they experience one failed relationship after another. Which is their karma. So turn the tables on the narcissist. Become a winner. Become a champion. Because they will be stalking you. So give them something to watch. Give them something that's going to spoil their stomachs. Because they expect you to fail. Which would confirm that decision by leaving you. So prove them wrong. Show them that they made the wrong decision. And they will regret losing you. It will destroy their ego and bring them back to reality.
I believe that one of the things that narcissists do not have is emotional intelligence. They have their routines and they like to stick with them. After all, they've been successful many times getting themselves intertwines with women or men and getting their way. If you do let them go and you continue on with your life and never give them another thought, they'll feel that in their soul. It doesn't matter if they even live near you. They'll know. What's very interesting is when you end up growing so far from who you were back then that, you would never enter into a relationship with someone like that again. I was talking to my narcissist a few days ago…