Do Narcissists Know That They Are Narcissists?
When the narcissist feels fear or pain, they are reacting from their ego. They are reacting from the part of the mind that mediates between the conscious and the unconscious and is responsible for reality testing and a sense of personal identity. For anyone, the ego is our primary defence against fear or pain. At least until we are able to dissolve the ego and behave on a more conscious level. However, due to the narcissist's stunted emotional development, they are not capable of dissolving their ego. Narcissism is a coping mechanism and a defence mechanism. The narcissist's programming is designed to defend them and it is designed for emotional survival. When they feel insecurity, their programming is designed for them to survive emotionally. For them to do this, they have to avoid any accountability. Their programming is forced to distort their perceptions, for them to be capable of doing this. If the narcissist does something wrong, they will deny any responsibility and then shift the blame on to someone else. If they are criticised and made to believe something about themselves, they will project this on to someone else. Their programming is designed to do this and they are not fully conscious or fully aware of this process. In the narcissist's mind, you have done something undesirable or unfavourable to them. In their minds, they believe that they are the victims and that they are just doing what is necessary to defend themselves.
When you try to blame them for what they have done, it triggers them to reflect on their shame and their disorder is programmed for emotional survival. This produces a narcissistic injury within the narcissist, where they will then shift the blame on to you. It will produce anger or rage from the narcissist and they will feel as though you are attacking them. They have to justify their actions to dodge their shame and regulate their emotional state. This is part of their programming and they don't have much choice or control over this. They are slaves to their programming. They know what they are doing and they know that what they are doing is wrong. This is why they try to hide what they are doing. If they believed that what they are doing is acceptable, there would be no reason to hide anything. They know that they are hurting you. They know that cheating, lying and stealing is wrong. They know that it is wrong to manipulate people. But they only believe that these things are wrong because society says it's wrong. They know and understand that their behaviour is socially unacceptable. But in their minds, they believe it is ok for them to do what they do. They believe that their actions are justified. They might believe that it is wrong for someone else to do what they are doing, especially if it was done to them. But in their minds they are the exception, they are excluded from the general statement or rule. Not because society says that they are excluded, but simply because they believe it in their minds. They do not feel bad about anything that they do, because in their minds they believe it is justified and they have the right to do it. They also believe that they are the victims and they are doing what is necessary to defend themselves.
Do narcissists know that they are narcissists?
Yes and no.
They have been acting and behaving in this way for such a long period of time, that some of their behaviours have become ingrained in the neural pathways of their brains. They have become habitual behaviours. When they are engaged in dysfunctional behaviour, they don't really think much about it. It has become characteristic or instinctive. It is done without conscious thought. When the narcissist is trying to manipulate you, they know exactly what they are doing. When they are stalking you or trying to secure you as a source of supply, they are fully aware of their actions. This is something that they have perfected over a long period of time. They know the effects that they are having on you and they know that they are misleading you, but they don't care. All they care about is what they want at that moment, which is narcissistic supply. The narcissist doesn't understand why qualities such as having a conscience, empathy and respect should be so important, valuable or
meaningful. These qualities have no significance to the narcissist unless you are displaying those qualities to them. But they cannot understand the significance or the meaning of seeing someone else as being worthy enough for them to honour, respect or
They do not have the mental capacity or the emotional capacity to see people in this way or to care about them enough to not behave in the way that they do. They have to think in this way in order to survive. They have to feed off other people or else they would self destruct. Whether they are aware of their behaviour or not isn't the important question. You need to ask yourself why are you involved with someone who doesn't give you the respect that you deserve. Why are you involved with someone who cannot return anything that you have invested in them? The narcissist will never experience love, joy or peace. But you are capable of experiencing those emotions. You deserve someone to share those emotions with. Someone who will add value to your life. Someone who will appreciate you and recognise your worth. Someone who is capable of giving you the love and respect that you deserve.