top of page

A Strange Thing That Narcissists Do

This is something that can be very confusing. It can be very hard to understand. When you see that the narcissist has moved on to another situation. Because it makes you wonder what was so bad about your relationship. And what is so good about this new situation that they are now in. There may have been some things they complained about with you. But now they're tolerating those same things with this new person. Or they're doing things with them that they never wanted to do with you. You strived to reach your goals through effort and determination. You worked hard. You approached things with all of your effort. You were in control. You had your life together. But this new person isn't on your level. So it seems very strange.

It doesn't make any sense to you. Because they said that you weren't good enough. But look at what they're involved in now. They're in a worse situation. But the reason for this is because you overcompensated. You took excessive measures in attemping to correct and make amends for their errors and weaknesses. You invested in something that was not of the same amount of value as you are. They talked the talk, but they didn't walk the walk. They spoke convincingly in a way to please and impress you. In a way that appeared to be true and real. They said they were going to do things. But they never did what they promised. They never walked the walk. And this new situation is no different. They're not acting in a way that agrees with the things they say. Because they're not of the same quality as you are.

People will gravitate towards like-minded people. They will seek out and hang around other people they perceive as comparable to themselves. Birds of a feather flock together. So they will gravitate back to those same types of people. But they got in with you because they pretended to be on your level. Or you made an exception for them. Because you overlooked the people that they associate with. As it says in a Russian proverb, "Tell me who your friends are and I will tell you who you are". Motivational speaker Jim Rohn famously said that we are the average of the five people we spend the most time with. The people who they choose to spend time with should reveal to you who they are. It should reveal to you their likes and interests. Their values and principles. But they will tell you that they like the same things as you do. They will talk the talk, so that you make an exception.

So that you accept them. Or they will act like you introduced them to something and now they like it. But it's fake. It's just done to make you accept them. Because if they were really about that, they would never reduce themselves to a lower level or position. They would never settle for less. But they're not really downgrading. They're just seeking their own level. When they were with you, they lied about their qualities and skills. They pretended to share the same likes and interests. Like they knew how to maintain a relationship with you. But then they started falling behind. They were ineffective. Because they were not qualified for the position of being with you. So it was too much for them to manage. It became an inconvenience. They liked the benefits that came along with it. But they weren't up to the mark. They weren't good enough for it. So they decided to not participate in it.

Which is why when you meet someone new, you need to judge their performance. Otherwise you will end up with these types of people. Who are not what they started out to be. Who are not doing what they were doing before. They're not as productive or effective. They skilfully and dishonestly positioned themselves in your life. And that is why they eventually ended up going down to a lower level. Until they ended up ghosting you. Because they knew that things were about to fall apart. If they were expected to have any responsibility. So they decided to go somewhere where less was expected of them. Somewhere where there are less requirements. Where less is needed of them. Where there is lower standards. Where less is expected than what you expected from them. And that is why they end up with someone who is not as good as you expected.

Someone who is of a lower standard. Because they went down to a level that they can deal with without difficulty. A level that they can control. Because while you may have been a more important and powerful person, who could give them what they want. It was a difficult situation for them. It was beyond their ability. They wanted the benefits that came along with it. But they weren't good enough for it. They weren't as good as you expected and wanted. They weren't qualified for the position of being with you. So they removed themselves. Which is actually saving you time, energy and money. But you may be trying to keep them on your level. You may be trying to prevent them from falling. Because you believe that there is something good about them.

Maybe you remember how they talked the talk. So you're expecting them to follow it up with action. Because you haven't accepted that it was all fake. But if you want to remain self-sufficient and free from difficulties, you need to have the effectiveness of productive effort. If they're lacking in performance and productivity, there's going to be problems. It's going to affect you. So you have to let them go. They're only going to weigh you down. They're only going to oppress you. They're going to keep you in subjection and hardship. They're going to cause anxiety and distress to you. And they're going to hinder your progress. So while this may be a strange thing that narcissists do. You need to recognise how it is actually very beneficial for you.

143 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All


bottom of page