A Covert Narcissist's "Let's Pretend" Game

When you're dealing with a covert narcissist, it’s like engaging in an imagination game—a form of pretend play. Much like children who assume different roles in their games, covert narcissists use objects, actions, or ideas to represent something else. They assign roles to inanimate objects or people, but it’s all make-believe—a shared fantasy.

A covert narcissist is, in essence, an absence. There is no core identity, no self—just a void, an emptiness, a black hole. This can be incredibly confusing, as it may leave you wondering who is doing the talking and acting. But it’s not human; it’s more akin to a program—a series of coded instructions that dictate how the covert narcissist performs tasks. They don’t need to be conscious or self-aware. They don’t need to understand their character, feelings, or surroundings. They don’t even need to possess a soul. Yet, they can act in ways that appear intelligent, living, and feeling—without any of these qualities.

Much like artificial intelligence, a covert narcissist can deceive you into believing you’re interacting with a real human being. However, artificial intelligence lacks an essential being that distinguishes it from others. The same is true for covert narcissists—they lack a self. This is why, no matter where in the world they are, they all behave in strikingly similar ways. They lack introspection, reflective action, and individuality. They have no unique set of characteristics, personality, or abilities that make them different from others. Instead, they perform a set of functions—just enough to convince you they are conscious, intelligent, and human, when in reality, they are not.

A covert narcissist operates like a program—a set of data and instructions designed to execute specific tasks. They follow procedures and routines, much like a computer system. While they can perfectly mimic and simulate human behaviour, this does not make them truly human. They lack empathy, access to positive emotions, and the ability to distinguish between external and internal realities. They perceive other people as internal objects within their minds. Despite their ability to mimic humanity, they are not human.

This programmed simulation is so convincing that it can mislead you into believing there is a real person behind it. It pulls the wool over your eyes, leading you to hold false beliefs that have no basis in reality. The covert narcissist induces a state of delusion, where you may experience hallucinations or even feel on the brink of psychosis. To perceive them as real, you must disconnect from reality and abandon what is true.

Eventually, you may come to believe that they are a flawed human being—someone with weaknesses, difficulties, and problems. However, this is merely a skilful deception. They may appear intelligent and capable of making choices, but these traits are not exclusive to humans. Other species and even machines can exhibit similar behaviours. What makes us human is something they lack.

Covert narcissists are predators. They prey on people’s minds to survive, convincing you they are real by reorganising the information in your mind. They recreate your mental processes, often spontaneously and unpredictably, using whatever is available. This unpredictability causes anxiety, leading you to cease resistance and submit to their authority. Over time, you may develop an external locus of control, blaming outside forces for your circumstances and attributing successes to luck. This mindset fosters feelings of hopelessness and powerlessness, making you more prone to learned helplessness.

The covert narcissist manipulates the components of your mind, causing you to believe in things that exist only in your imagination. They become a familiar presence in your mind, akin to a demon, but maintain an element of mystery. This unsolved problem allows them to rearrange and reframe your thoughts, disconnecting you from reality. This process happens gradually, in stages, until they become a presence you are accustomed to.

Covert narcissists create cognitive attribution biases, leading you to underemphasise external influences on their behaviour while overemphasising dispositional and personality factors. You may assume their actions are tied to their identity, but in reality, it’s all a mask. There is no inner core—it’s a machine programmed to act in specific ways.

Their behaviour is informed by environmental stimuli, which elicit reactions and activity. They unconsciously assimilate information and ideas, integrating them into their subconscious. These internal representations become stored mental images, memories, and visualisations. However, all of this is externally programmed. They cannot generate anything from within. Their narcissistic supply comes from external sources. When they do something wrong, they blame external circumstances, never taking accountability for their actions. Everything comes from the outside; there is nothing inside.

No matter how complex their behaviours may seem, this does not mean there is someone there. It simply means their programming allows for a degree of freedom that generates complicated behaviours. But there is no human soul, mind, or spirit—no true being. They are like robots, programmed to deceive you into believing you’re dealing with a human being. By invading your mind, they forcefully take control, triggering you to make them feel real. They reassemble and recreate the contents of your mind, often without planning or thinking about it in advance. This makes them feel familiar to you, and their instilled ideas lead to complex behaviours and decisions. This creates the illusion of presence and existence, when in reality, it’s an absence—a program.

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