They may act like they're in a relationship with you. But then they play and cheat on you. They engage with you only for enjoyment and recreation. Rather than a serious or practical purpose. And many of you don't understand why they do that. Because you assume that it would be just as beneficial for them as it would be for you. If they did commit to a reciprocal relationship with you. Which is why I decided to create this video. To give you 7 reasons why narcissists play you.
1. They have a lot of options. The reality is that many narcissists do have a lot of options. Especially if they are attractive, charming and charismatic. You're one of many. They had a lot of people before you. And they will have a lot of people after you're gone. They're non-exclusive. They don't limit themselves only to one person. They desire multiple prospects and endeavours. And if you are aware of this, you shouldn't want them anyway. You should desire something that is more exclusive to you. Where you don't have to share them with other people. Because otherwise, you won't get to experience all aspects of a relationship. A non-exclusive relationship means that there is no commitment. There is no state or quality of being dedicated to a cause. Because there's no engagement or obligation that restricts freedom of action. There's no duty or responsibility. So there's no point. It's a waste of time. Because it's not going to amount to anything.
2. They get bored. Narcissists are thrill seekers. They're keen to take part in activities that involve risk. Because it gives them an adrenaline rush. It makes them feel alive. But it also means that they find normal things boring. They hate having to conform to a standard that may be usual, typical or expected. Because it's predictable. They already know what to expect. They already know how it's going to end. It's like if they already watched the end of a movie. There's no incentive for them to watch the rest of it. Because now they already know what happens. So it causes them to disengage. Because for them, that ruins the fun of it. It's not their first rodeo. They've been through the wringer many times before. So they already know what to expect. They already know what's going to happen. To the point where many of them have become desensitised to relationships and the opposite sex. It doesn't do anything for them. They can't be bothered. Because many of them already know how it's going to end. They know that anything they're a part of is not going to produce a worthwhile result. Because they need constant entertainment. They get bored easily. One person could never be enough to hold their attention. So they look at it like, what's the point of them even trying?
3. Envy. They're envious of you. They feel discontented and resentful longing aroused by your possessions, qualities or luck. They feel like it's unfair. They feel like they're more deserving of what you have. So now they desire to take away your happiness and contentment. By not giving you what you want. By not committing to a long-term relationship with you. They hold a grudge. Sometimes from things that happened long before you came on the scene. Maybe something happened to them when they were a child. Or they experienced rejection in a past relationship. They never got what they wanted. So now they're going to be resentfully unwilling to give you what you want. Even though, it may actually be what they wanted all along. They will still refuse you. They will act childish, foolish and stubborn. They will show a dogged determination not to change their attitude or position. In spite of good arguments or reasons to do so. Which is typically the result of a past injury.
Where they didn't get what they wanted, when they wanted it. But they don't self-reflect or process the emotions that are associated with their trauma So instead, they find pleasure and validation in watching you go through it. They use it as a form of self-medication. To make themselves feel better in the moment. Which is why they're always competing with you. They're always trying to do better than you. They're always trying to outdo you. Because these actions and behaviours are based on unresolved emotions that resulted from their past trauma. Where they felt like they weren't good enough or that they were undeserving of something that they wanted. So now they want to make you feel the same way. Even though these feelings and situations may not be relevant or appropriate to you. Which may result in you feeling confused. Because you don't understand the motive or reason behind it. Because you don't realise that it actually has nothing to do with you or anything that you've done.
4. They want to torture you. They want to inflict pain, suffering and humiliation on you as a punishment. Because many of them are sadistic. They get off on it. They derive pleasure from it. Which again is due to their past trauma. It's something they learned in childhood. Where they may have been victimised. Where someone may have found pleasure at their pain or misfortune. And they don't want to be on the other end of it again. So they learned to take on a position of power and authority. But not in a form of duty, righteousness and responsibility. But rather to be this person who gets to inflict pain on you. Because in their minds, it's ok. It's justified now. Since they had to go through it in the past. At the time, they may have felt like it is wrong. But no one was around to confirm their suspicions. No one validated their opinions or reality. So they were taught that maybe it is ok for people to bully and torture each other. Which is why they will now do that to you. Because it gives them fuel. It makes them feel better about themselves. And all they care about is themselves anyway. They lack empathy. They have an inability to understand or share your feelings and experience. You're just an object that they misuse to make themselves feel better.
5. They're jealous. Narcissists are very jealous. And believe it or not, but they're actually very jealous of what they might otherwise give or share with you. It's not always about another person. Sometimes it's just because of the relationship that you're supposed to have with them. They don't want to see you experiencing that. They don't want to give you anything that might make you happy. Because they look at it like if they do that, it's just going to make you feel good. And then they're still going to be miserable. Because it doesn't do anything for them anyway. Because they lack empathy. They have an inability to share your feelings and experience. They don't find satisfaction in other people's pleasure or happiness. They don't like the idea of you going throughout your day with a smile on your face. Resulting from the satisfaction you have with yourself, your relationship and your life. It irritates them. Because they don't get to experience that. So instead, they have to invent problems. They have to create arguments out of nothing. They have to cause a scene. So that you don't get to be happy. And then they can feel better, because then they don't feel like they're missing out on something.
Which makes them very dangerous people to be around It means that they are a serious threat to our society. Because if you can't participate and enjoy another person's happiness and success. That means that all you're going to do is try to destroy. You're not going to wish anyone well. You're not going to feel or express a desire or hope for their future. And instead, they may even pose as a problem or danger to you. To stop you from getting what you need to progress in the relationship with them. And they may even prevent you from moving on. They may try to stop you from entering a relationship with someone else. They may try to keep you isolated. They may try to keep you stuck. They may try to prevent you from doing what you're naturally meant to do. And it's all because they're jealous. They can't stand to see you having something that they can't have. Because they already know it's too late for them. They know they burnt that bridge a long time ago. They chose their self over anyone else. But they don't want to live with the consequences. Instead, they want to trap you. They want you to give up everything to be their nothing.
6. They're playing a game. They're trying to defeat you. By tricking you into making a mistake so that they have an advantage over you. It's like cat and mouse. A situation where they're trying to confuse and deceive you in order to defeat you. So they will act hot and cold. They will use the push pull technique. They will do whatever it takes to hold your attention. To keep you chasing them. To keep you thinking about them. And you may mistake it as though they're trying to build something with you. But they're actually just trying to prevent you from moving on. Because they see you as their possession. They see you as an object that belongs to them. But at the same time, they're also very envious and jealous of you. So they see it as a competition. Where they have to lock you down and prevent you from getting away. While at the same time, not giving you anything that you actually want. But making you think that there's something just around the corner. When in reality, many of them don't even possess the means.
They don't even have the capabilites to make it a reality. Because for a start, they lack empathy. They're all about themselves. They have no interest in building or sharing an experience with you. It does nothing for them. They don't feel anything like you do. They don't attach. The game is just to get you to attach to them. So that they get supply. They get that two second high. That feeling of getting one over on you in the moment. Which is really crazy when you think about it. Because they're actually just further detaching themselves from reality. Because you don't even know what they're doing or what they're really about. You're existing in this fantasy, where you think they're something. But they're actually something else. Which is something you never agreed to participate in. So how can you be a part of it? How can they even have the power to reject or control you in the first place? If it had any basis in reality? Which is how you should know that they are delusional. The power exists only in their mind. They're so envious and jealous of you. To the point where they don't even want to exist in reality. They'd rather make their own reality inside their heads, which they can pull you into. So that they can control you.
7. They already know they're no good for you. Sometimes they will come across as cold and distant. They will seem irresponsive. They will give you the silent treatment. And you may take it as though they're not on the same page.They're resistant. They don't want things to move forward. When in actuality, that's what they wanted all along. It's just that they're so used to rejection, they're already anticipating for something to go wrong. They're just waiting for the other shoe to drop. Which is why many of them choose not to commit. Because they're afraid. Because they're insecure. And they're constantly on edge, just waiting for you to see something wrong with them. Because they're very self-conscious. They're very worried about what you might think of them. Because they know that once they do finally commit to you. That gives you a position of power. Where you're able to dissect and determine whether or not they're something you actually want in your life. Which is why they'd rather be cold, distant and aloof. They'd rather be stand-offish and unapproachable. Not friendly or willing to take part in things. Because at least then they're in control. And they can manage their risk of rejection. Because they already feel like they're no good. They already feel like they could never be enough for you anyway.
They see it as though you'd probably get bored. You'd probably get tired of them. And then you'd want something else And they may have already experienced that situation before. Whether it was in a past relationship or with their parents. And they don't want to go through that again. They would rather have nothing. Because at least then they don't have to experience that rejection. They don't have to deal with not being given the love and attention that they expect. But that doesn't mean that you can love them better. It's already too late for many of them. Because they're so insecure, you can't reach them. Even if you gave them a compliment, it would only make them question themselves even more. It would just make them even more insecure. Because deep down, they feel unloveable. They don't really believe that anyone could want them. They put out a false character. And they might assume that you're interested in that. But they will still keep you at arm's length. They will avoid getting too close or friendly with you. Because they fear that if you get too close, you won't want them. And they don't want to go through that again. So they'd rather be alone. They'd rather be the one who has the power and takes control. So at least then they don't have to be a candle in the wind. Because they're so fragile and vulnerable.
They already know that if they gave themselves to you. It would only last for a short period of time. They know that it would only be a matter of time until everything falls apart. Because they're vulnerable and easily threatened. So they see it as though they'd be putting their life in your hands. Which is something they're never going to do. Because they lack faith in power and authority. They've already had negative experiences with that in the past. Where people took advantage of them. Where people neglected them or saw their love as a weakness. And they don't want to go through that again. So you will never be close to their heart. You will never be of deep interest or concern to them. It's like they locked that away and threw away the key a long time ago. Because no one ever gave them genuine love. They've never seen that before. So they assume that there's no use in having a heart. What's the point, if people are just going to trample all over it. Which is why it doesn't matter how much you try to love them. It's too late. They're not going to change. All they're going to do is play around and use people like objects that exist to meet their needs. And that's the best you'll ever get from them. But it's also the best that they will ever get from you.
Comments