By now you should know that narcissists are self absorbed and lack empathy. They're preoccupied with their own interests and needs. So they're not aware of or concerned about your needs. Which is how they're so difficult to deal with. Because they don't care about anyone but themselves. They will manipulate you to get what they want. They will expect everything to revolve around their needs. And they will elevate themselves at your expense. They only care about looking good. About presenting a false image to people. They're not interested in becoming something of value and substance. But you can protect yourself from narcissists by becoming more aware of what they're trying to do. By learning more about them. And by understanding things that they don't want you to know. Things that they try to hide from you. So here are 5 things you won't know about narcissists.
1. Narcissists are not confident They act as though they have it all together. They act as though they're certain of their abilities and they have trust in people, plans and their future. But it's all a facade. They're very insecure. They just don't want to feel vulnerable. They don't want to be honest. Because it would make them feel weak and inferior. So they pretend to be more than what they are. They pretend to know everything. It provides them with a false sense of security and stability. It makes them feel like they're in control. 2. They don't even know you They act like they know you. They act like they've got you all figured out. Like they know everything they need to know. But they don't know anything about you. Because they don't even see you as a real person. They see you as an object. As something that exists to meet their needs. They don't care about you as a person. They care about what you can do for them or how you can make them feel. Who you are as a person does not matter to the narcissist. Most often, they can't even see it. They can't see past their own wants and needs. So they don't connect to you emotionally. They use you to feel better about themselves. They leech off you. And then they discard you when they no longer have a use for you. 3. They feel nothing for you Narcissists lack empathy. So they don't share your experience. They don't put themselves in your shoes. And they have no desire to do that, because they just don't care. Which is why they're not hurt when they hurt you. They don't feel your pain. They don't regret the things they've done to you. They may even have done those things on purpose. Because they get off on your pain and misfortune. Which is why they never give you an apology. And they never change their behaviour. Because you don't matter to them. You're not important. They are the only ones that matter. Unless you can feed into their importance and superiority. 4. They don't know what they want They act like they've got it all figured out. But the truth is narcissists don't even know what they want. They constantly seek money, status and power. But even those things don't fulfil them. They're never satisfied with what they have. They always want more. Which is why they're always trying to escape from their unpleasant reality. By engaging in escapism. By trying to distract themselves with self-destructive activities. By seeking validation from other people. And they will do whatever it takes to get it. They will lie. They will future fake. Just so they can feel better about themselves and their own lives. 5. They envy you Many people may have heard this before. But it's difficult for them to accept. They can't believe that the narcissist is envious of them. Because they act so arrogant and superior. As though they're better than you. As though they don't need you. But the truth is that they are very envious and jealous. They're intimidated by your success. Which is why they can't be happy for you. Instead, they will become very competitive. They will try to win. They will try to show you that they're better than you. Or they will try to humiliate you. Or they will just ignore you. Because they have to be better than you.
They have to be the best. When they see that you might be better than them at something, it makes them feel inferior. It triggers them to reflect on themselves and their own lives. It feels like an attack on their character. So they will try to defend their elevated view of themselves by trying to destroy your success. By gossiping about you and trying to ruin your reputation. Narcissists are very different to how they perceive themselves. They appear arrogant and entitled. But they're actually very insecure. They act like they've got you all figured out. But they don't know anything about you. They just see you as an object that either is or isn't doing what they want it to be or do. They feel nothing for you. They don't care about your pain. They don't care about your wants and needs. Everything has to revolve around them and what they want. But they don't even know what they want. They're chasing money, power and status. But they're never satisfied. Those things don't make them happy. Which is why they end up sabotaging themselves. By engaging in self-destructive activities. And then they envy you for being happy and successful. Because they can't find that in their own lives. So they try to sabotage your success. They try to ruin your reputation. They will try to steal it from you. Because they think that you have what they want. But what they actually want is not your success. It's your happiness and fulfilment. And that is something they will never find. No matter how much they sabotage you or try to destroy you. Because our happiness comes from serving, not consuming. Which doesn't do anything for the narcissist. So they never get to experience that. They don't understand it. And it frustrates them. But when all is said and done, they will try to hide it. They will try to mirror your happiness and reflect it back to you. As though they have what you want. When they've failed to consider that true happiness does not come from other people or external objects. It comes from within. And what comes from within is what we give out. Which means that their behaviour is very contradictory. It doesn't make sense. And it should reveal to you that they haven't moved on. They're not happy without you. They're just trying to prove to you and to themselves that they're ok. When it's just a fantasy.
It's this make-believe world of pretending and imagining things as better than they really are. Instead of confronting the core issue. Which is something that most people will not know about the narcissist until it's too late. Because not only are narcissists trying to hide this from you. But they may not be fully aware of it. They may not know why they are the way they are. They may not know why they do the things they do. But even if they became aware of it, that doesn't mean that they would change. Many of them like how their disorder works. It's like a system of reward for them. It gives their lives meaning. So there's no incentive for them to do anything about it. They only care about themselves. They have no passion or love for anything. But they're quite comfortable with that way of life. Even though they will never find what they're looking for. Even though they will never have what they really want.
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