Narcissists need to have control of their targets. They need the power to influence your behavior and direct the course of events. When they don't have that, they will feel like they're losing control of you. And they will try to regain it. So here are 5 things narcissists do when they lose control of you.
1. Lovebomb. If you have gone no contact with the narcissist, they may try to hoover you. They will bombard you with text messages and phone calls. They will try to get you to respond to them. By telling you whatever they think you want to hear. They will give you a fake apology. A false epiphany. They will pretend to understand. They will act like they're going to change. Because they know that's what you want. They know you want them to act right. So they will give you the illusion of that. But it's only so they can lock you under their control again.
2. Triangulation. When the narcissist loses control of you, they will bring in another person. Because they want to get your mind back on them again. They want your attention. And they will try to get that by making you jealous. By making you think that you're losing something. By making you think that you're missing out. In the hopes that it will make you come running back to them.
3. Threats & intimidation. If you still refuse to comply, they will make threats and try to intimidate you. They will try to coerce you into doing what they want. Because they know that without force or threats, you're not going to listen to them. They know that they don't have any leverage over you. They know that there's no incentive for you to comply. Because it's not in your best interest to do so.
4. Stalking & harassment. When the narcissist loses control of you, they will start to monitor you. They will follow you at your home or at your work. They will stalk you on social media. Because they want to see you what you're doing and who you're with. They want to see if you're still experiencing the effects of what they did to you. They want to see if there's an opening for them to come back. Or they may just be gathering data. Which they will then use against you to further control you.
5. Exposure. When all bets are off, the narcissist is going to resort to one last strategy. They will try to expose you. They will reveal your secrets and personal information. Things that you confided in them. Things that you trusted them with. They will distort the truth. They will make up their own stories. And then they will use it against you. They will enforce their flying monkeys and start a smear campaign. In an attempt to discredit you and ruin your reputation. Because at this point, they know that they've lost control of you.
They know that you've figured them out. They know you're not going to come back. So all they can do now is try to tear you down. So that they don't have to deal with the pain of watching you move on from them. Because when they're trying to regain their control of you, that's all they're trying to do. They're using you as a tool to regulate their emotions. To soothe their bruised ego. Because as long as they have control of you, they feel powerful and important.
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