There are certain questions that narcissists just can't answer. And it may seem like you can't have a conversation with them. Because they don't want to reveal certain parts about themselves. There's things that they don't want you to know. Because they're paranoid and hypervigilant. They believe that everyone is out to get them. They believe that the world is not a safe place. They believe that it's a dog eat dog world. It's survival of the fittest. So they are in constantly in survival mode. They're doing anything they can to survive. They're in a fight for their lives. Which is why they're so mean. It's why they're so harmful and unpleasant. It's why they're so difficult to deal with. Because they believe they have to be that way for them to survive. They need narcissistic supply. It's like their oxygen. They can't survive without it. Because they feel worthless inside. They have no inner sense of value. They feel empty. They feel self-hatred. Which is why that's all they give to you.
They can only give you what they've got. And all they've got is their own self-hatred. Which they constantly pour on to you. And they expect you to identify with it. So that they can relieve themselves of that burden. Because they don't want you to expose them. They want people to continue validating the illusions of their false self. Which is why they won't answer any questions that have the potential to expose that it's all a facade. So here are 5 questions a narcissist can't answer. 1. What do you love about me? If you ask the narcissist what they love about you, they will only mention superficial things. They might say that you look good or that you make them feel good. They might say that you take good care of them. Because they want to seem normal. So they will try to respond like a normal person. But they will never tell you exactly how they feel about you. Because they don't even know who you are. And it doesn't matter how long you've been together. They don't know you.
They never took the time to get to know you. Because all they care about is what you can do for them. Which is why if you ever have some time apart, they will miss the benefits and conveniences that you provided to them. They will miss your money or sex. But they will never miss the things that make you who you are. 2. What are your deepest hurts? Sometimes the narcissist will give you their sob stories. They will play the victim. And tell you that someone did something to them. So that they can get narcissistic supply. But they don't really know what hurts them or who has hurt them. Because they lack introspection. They don't self-reflect. They don't examine or observe their own mental and emotional processes. So although they may give you a story about someone who hurt them. They can't talk about it in depth. They can't tell you about how it made them feel. Because if they did that, they would heal and then they wouldn't be a narcissist anymore. These people and things that have hurt them are what is stopping them from being a normal person. If they just took the time to reflect on these things, like we do when they discard us, then they would heal and be normal. But that's not something they're going to do. Because they don't want to be vulnerable. They don't want to self-reflect. And they don't want to deal with the pain.
3. Why can't you admit that you're wrong? Narcissists don't take responsibility. They always blame someone else for their actions and decisions. They don't want to accept when they've made a fault or mistake. They will deny it. They will gaslight. Or they will blame someone else. But even if you catch them out, they will always find a way to justify it. They will always find a way to blame you for being the reason why they did what they did. You will always be the cause of it. You will always need to fix it. You will always need to do more. 4. Why are you kinder to strangers than you are to the person you say you love? Narcissists are kinder to strangers because that's how they get supply. Strangers don't know who the narcissist really is or what they're about. So it's easy for the narcissist to lure them into their little traps. Narcissists treat the people closest to them the worst. They are very mean to the people they say they love. But they were quite nice to you before you knew who they are. They just don't care about what people who are close to them think. Because they've already involved you in a difficult situation. And it's hard for you to escape. They're comfortable with you. They've learned you. They think they know everything they need to know about you. Even though they never took the time to get to know you. They only learned about the things they could use you for. So that they could get supply. So that they could get their needs met. So that they could use it against you. But they think they've got you all figured out. They think they know everything they need to know. They've consumed you. They've used you up. So now they just put you back on the shelf, until they're ready to play with you again. Because they don't even see you as a separate person with your own wants and needs. They see you as an object that exists to serve them. Which is why they're kinder to strangers rather than the people who are in their lives who they claim to love. They believe that since they already know you, they shouldn't have to be nice to you anymore. 5. How do you feel about yourself? If you ask a narcissist how they feel, they will tell you they feel great. But it's a lie. They're always miserable. They try to disguise it. By acting as though there's something wrong with you or something else. By acting as though there's a better person or situation for them. And sometimes they actually believe it. They really believe the grass is greener on the other side. Because they lack introspection. They lack the ability to observe their own feelings about themselves.
They can't tell that they are generating those feelings from within. They're not coming from anything outside of them. Which is why it's so easy for them to discard you. It's so easy for them to act like you never existed. Like you never meant anything to them. But in actuality, they're not running from you.
They're running from how they really feel about themselves. They're running from their own self-hatred. Which they projected on to you. Sometimes, it may seem like they don't want to deal with anyone or anything. But the truth is they just don't want to deal with themselves. They don't want to deal with the reflections of themselves that they project on to everyone else.
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