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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

1 Thing You Must Do When Dealing With A Narcissist


You may have made all kinds of forecasts when you were dealing with the narcissist. You may have tried to predict or estimate a future event or trend. But if you look back on your relationship with the narcissist now. You may realise that you could have just flipped a coin. You invested all of your time, energy and money into your relationship with the narcissist. And there comes a point when you remember your efforts in the past. Which then has an effect on your decision on whether or not to continue your relationship with them. Because what tends to happen, is that after the victim has invested so much of their lives into the narcissist. They think that it would be foolish for them to walk away. They think that if they would just hold on a little longer, maybe the relationship would improve. So then they decide to continue their relationship with the narcissist. Their efforts in the past affected their decision. Because they don't want to take a loss. Because a loss affects us far more than a win. So you hold on to your relationship with the narcissist. While hoping that things will get better in the future. But even while you hold on to the relationship, it just keeps getting worse.



It continues to go down. Until it becomes more and more difficult for you to get out of it. Because as it continues to go down, it affects you more and more emotionally. Which is why so many victims end up staying in their relationships until they're left with nothing. Until they're completely wiped out. It happens all the time. Which is why it's so important for you to identify the point when it's time for you to cut your losses. When it's time for you to abandon an enterprise or course of action, that is clearly going to be unprofitable or unsuccessful. And it is very important for you to do that, before you suffer more loss or harm. Because it's only going to get worse the longer you stay in it. That's why there's so many videos about narcissists on YouTube. Because people have lost their jobs and all of their money. People have lost their family and friends. People have lost their sanity. People have lost their lives. And that is what you could eventually lose, by holding on to this relationship that is not serving you. Because your spending all of your time, energy and money on this person, who isn't doing anything for you. Your life revolves around fixing things for them and making sure that they're happy. Instead of focusing on progressing in your own life. But your mentality is that if you give them enough of your time, energy and money. Eventually they will be ok. Eventually they will be happy. Maybe in a few months. Maybe in a few years. And then they will be so grateful for everything you did for them. Now that they are more in control of their emotions. That is the mentality of people who choose to remain in these relationships. They think that they just have to do a little bit more. They just have to invest more of their time.



Then things will get better. And many people give it their all. They put forth and utilise the utmost of their energy, effort, time and resources. They give everything they have. They go for broke. They risk everything in an all-out effort. And it still fails. After so many years that they pursued this course of action. After they invested all of that time, effort and energy. And they just couldn't let go. Because they couldn't accept that there's just never going to be any fairness in a relationship with a narcissist. Even if you give it all. Even if you compensate for all of their deficiencies. It's still never going to work out. Because although narcissists thrive in dysfunctional environments, relationships do not. A relationship is the way in which two people are connected. It is a state of connection. When the narcissist has no ability to connect to you. Because everything has to revolve around them. They have no consideration for you. Which is why although you may be the one who is holding everything together. It is inevitably destined to fall apart. Which is why it is so important for you to cut your losses. Because the narcissist has no cut-off point. Many victims have lost everything. They've been driven to insanity. Because they refused to accept what they were actually dealing with. They held on to hope. But if you're going to cut your losses, you have to see them as they actually are. Because that's what's going to motivate you to get as far away from them as you can. When the narcissist shows you who they are, believe them. And then take the appropriate action. Because nothing is going to change.



Just remember everything you did to help them. Remember all of the work you put in. And then you should come to the conclusion that you are powerless to make a difference in this relationship. Because the narcissist is hellbent on being who they choose to be. They are determined to be that at all costs. And you cannot stand in the way of that. The losses that you have already experienced, should reflect that truth back to you. And then it should make it that much easier for you to walk away. Because if you remain around the narcissist, eventually there will be nothing left of you. They will reduce you to nothing but a shell of who you used to be. Which is why if you're focused on bettering yourself and improving your life. You really only have one option. And that is to cut your losses. Call it a day. Realise that this is not what you want. And take whatever you have left. Use it to build a better future for yourself.

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