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Why The Narcissist Targeted You

The narcissist did not pick you at random. You were not chosen by chance. They followed a system. They followed a plan. It was a conscious decision. They singled you out. They purposefully selected you as the object of their attention. Many victims believe that narcissists target weak people. They believe narcissists go after people who are not strong enough to withstand pressure. But that's not completely true. They target people who are easy to manipulate. But they also want their targets to be strong. Which is why they deliberately target powerful and successful people. They target people who are difficult to defeat. People who are able to withstand force, pressure or wear. Which is how the people they target are able to stay with them for such a long period of time. Because they're built to last. They're able to endure tough environments. They have high pain thresholds.

Narcissists are also deeply envious of successful people. And they see it as though the more powerful or important you are. The more difficult it will be for you when you lose your power or importance. The better you are doing in your life, the more satisfying it is for them to get one over on you. Because it then keeps their feelings of envy and jealousy under control. It all depends on what type of person you are. If you have strong boundaries, they're not going to make any progress. They're not going to succeed. But if you have weak boundaries, it will be very harmful and unpleasant for you. They targeted you because you're a strong person with weak boundaries. They don't target weak people, because they know it wouldn't last long. They would destroy a weak person very quickly. Which is why they targeted people who have a forceful and independent mind. It's more challenging for the narcissist. Narcissists are very competitive. And they feel threatened by people who they perceive to be superior to them. It makes them want to take you down a notch. It makes them want to deflate or humble you. Because they see it as though you think they're better than them. Which makes them feel small. So now they want to show you just how big they are. By putting you down. By damaging your ego. By damaging your pride. Which is why they end up humiliating you. They end up trying to dampen your high spirits or decrease your effort in something. Because they want to show you you're not as great as you think you are. They want to put you in your place. Or at least, that's how they see it. Because they are very insecure. They are very sensitive to other people's accomplishments and success. Narcissists don't normally target weak people. Some victims of narcissistic abuse that I've personally known are psychologists, psychotherapists, lawyers and even U.S. marines. And many of the narcissism coaches here on YouTube have been in relationships with narcissists. So they're not looking for weak targets. Narcissists target people based on superficial things. They pick people who are physically attractive. They pick people who are powerful, successful and important. Because they know they're going to get a lot of supply from tearing someone like that down. They're not going to get much out of tearing a person down who isn't that attractive. And doesn't have any money or success. Because then there's nothing for them to sabotage or destroy. There's nothing to fuel them to take down that type of person. Because they're already down on their luck.

Which is why there must be something on the surface that attracted the narcissist to you. And once they've gained access to your life, the progress they make depends on your boundaries. If you have weak boundaries, they're going to deceive you. And they're going to take you down. Regardless of what position you have in life. It doesn't matter if you're a doctor or a lawyer. It doesn't matter if you're a war veteran. If you don't have boundaries, they will take advantage of you. Which is why they often target vulnerable people. They target people who have recently left a relationship. They target people who are going through a difficult time. Because then it makes you more susceptible to the abuse. You're more willing to tolerate it. And then they will change you at a core level. By the end of the relationship, you will be a completely different person. Because they strip you of everything that makes you who you are. They strip you of your indispensable qualities. But it's not because you were weak. They target strong people who are in a vulnerable state. And then they exploit them while they're in that state. While they're still able to take advantage of them. But the narcissist will not let you blame them. Because they see it as though you gave them the opportunity. You let them do it. You let it happen. You made it a possibility. In their minds, you didn't have to tolerate it. You didn't have to stay with them. They see it as though you ruined your own life. Because if you didn't accept that kind of treatment, nothing would have happened to you. That's just how narcissists think. They don't see it as though they're ruining your life. They see it as though you're doing it to yourself. As though you are the cause of anything that happens to you. Which they then use to justify their actions. Which is why the longer you stay with them, you start seeing more and more abuse. It gets worse and worse. Until you start to lose yourself. Because you're giving everything to the narcissist. But there's no point complaining about the narcissist to the narcissist. Because they don't care.

They only care about themselves. They don't want to hear about what you think of them. They already know what they're like. But when you remain around them, they see it as though you accept the abuse. Because if you didn't like it, you would leave. If you don't leave, they just see it as permission to continue doing what they're doing. Which is why the longer you're with them, the worse it gets. Boundaries are very important. They're not only the reason why you attracted a narcissist... But they're also the reason why the narcissist is a narcissist. Because it's learned behaviour. It developed from a lack of boundaries in their childhood. If they had strong boundaries in their childhood, it wouldn't have been possible. Which is why it is so important for you to strengthen your boundaries. Because that is what keeps the wrong people out of your life.

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