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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

Why Don't You Hear From The Narcissist

Hey survivors In this video I am going to be talking about why you don't hear from the narcissist. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one on one coaching, you can email me at narcsurvivorcoaching@gmail.com

Why Don't You Hear From The Narcissist? Narcissists use people for their own selfish needs. They are self absorbed and lack empathy. If they have drained you of your energy and resources, there is going to be nothing left for them to come back to. If they didn't manage to completely drain you or time has passed and you have managed to recover what was lost, they still might not come back because they know that you are aware of their manipulation. They know that you are aware that they didn't care about you and only kept you around for their own selfish needs. It's too difficult for them to manipulate someone who has already figured them out, it's too much work for them to do that. It's much easier for them to find someone else, who is unaware of their manipulation or their hidden intentions. Once they had used up all of your energy and resources, without giving you anything in return, they then blame you for not being good enough for them. Not being able to supply them with what they need. When they have just completely drained you without giving you anything in return. And then they discard you like a faulty appliance. As you begin to recover your energy and resources, naturally they may want to come back to you. They may want to contact you again. But there is a reason why many of them don't and the reason for that is because of their pride and their arrogance. They have an exaggerated sense of their own importance or abilities. They feel deep pleasure or satisfaction derived from the exaggerated sense of their own importance or abilities. They believe that it is something that everyone admires and desires from them, so they are especially proud of this particular quality or skill. Of course their pride and arrogance is just to compensate for how they really feel about themselves. They are insecure and they have low self esteem. They hate themselves. That's why it's so difficult for them to let go of their pride and arrogance. Without it they feel completely worthless and insignificant. So they have to hold this mask of being something admirable or desirable. And they have to surround themselves with people who view them in this way. They don't want to be around anyone who sees them for what they are. If you cannot validate their false selves and the illusion that they have created, they're not going to want anything to do with you. They just want to live a lie, believing that they are something great. Chasing validation by being whatever they think people want to see or whatever they think people want from them. None of it is really them, the real them is usually the exact opposite of what they are displaying to you. But they cover it up with lies and manipulation, to get you to believe what they want you to believe and validate their false selves and the illusion. If you cannot do that, they have no use for you.

You're completely worthless to them. If you cannot live a lie and just believe whatever they're telling you, believe that they are so much greater than what they are or constantly make them feel admired or desired... if you cannot do that, you will probably never hear from them again. Because that's all they really want. Someone to make them feel as though they are worth something, someone to make them feel like they exist. They are so desperate for attention and admiration, because they're very insecure and they have low self esteem. They will accept your attention, but they have to keep you have a distance, because you see through their illusion. You have the ability to remind them of who they really are. So they feel small around you, since they know that you do not see them in the way that they would want you to see them. But if you do contact them, they will still try to prove themselves to you. They might tell you how their life has changed and everything is going well for them now. They have moved on with someone else or they are so much happier now. They send you pictures of themselves, maybe on holiday or a picture of a new car. This is all designed to create the illusion that they are so much happier without you. And it's also used to get you to validate their false selves and the illusion. They are still trying to prove themselves to you. But if you don't hear to them, it is mostly due to their pride and arrogance. Their exaggerated sense of their own importance or abilities. They act like they're something great or as though they have so much to offer you... Has anyone ever received anything from these people? Even when they come back, all they do is drain you of your energy and resources and then leave again. They don't have anything to give. They design their false selves and create these illusions to extract whatever it is they need from you. They have nothing to give to you, other than lies and manipulation. So really, you are better off if you never hear from them again. You are very fortunate. Many survivors can't get rid of them. When you reject them they get obsessed, they start stalking you. They can't leave you alone. They have to constantly follow you around and try to prove themselves to you. They have to try and prove their worth, if they can get you to believe it, it makes it more believable for them. So be thankful if they're not contacting you. They know that you can see through them and their lies and manipulation, so they're not going to waste their time on you.They need someone that will validate their false selves and their illusions. Another reason why you might not hear from the narcissist, is because they're not doing so well after leaving you. They were so dependent on you to sustain them. When they left you, due to their magical thinking, they assumed that they would find another source who would do everything that you did for them. But they didn't and now they're not doing so well. They're worse off than when they were with you. And they can't come back to you, because then you would see what's going on with them in their lives. It's embarrassing for them, it's humiliating. They often do things at the end of the relationship which they use to hurt or manipulate you. And they feel so proud about it at the time. But as time goes on, it no longer has the same effect. It makes them feel ashamed, foolish... it injures their dignity and pride. They don't want to come back to you so you can remind them of that. How does it look for them trying to come back to the person they tried to destroy? Knowing all of the things that they have done to you. They would be putting themselves in position to be laughed at and humiliated by you. So this is another reason why you will not hear from the narcissist. When you know who they really are, it puts them at a disadvantage. They can no longer have power over you. Just because you don't hear from them, it doesn't mean that they've met someone else. It depends on your individual situation. They might lead you to believe that they've met someone else. This is designed to hurt you or cause you emotional distress. But most of the time it has something to do with their image, the general impression that they want to present. They don't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing that they are worse off now than they were when they were with you. They would rather hide from you, than to let you witness their failure. There is no length that they won't go to, to change or alter the way that you think about them or see them. Because they do care about your thoughts and opinions of them. They want you to see them as though they're something great. They want you to see them as though they're something admirable or desirable. They care a lot about what you think. People's thoughts and opinions of them matter more than anything. That's why they only associate with people who will validate their false selves and their illusions. If you can't do that, you won't hear from them. They have an exaggerated sense of their own importance or abilities. They don't have anything to give to you, but you have to believe that they do, to validate them. It's not about anything real with them. They don't want to be something great, they just want people to believe that they're something great. If they can get you to believe it, it makes it more believable for them. It regulates their self esteem and their emotions. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching enquiries, you can email me at narcsurvivorcoaching@gmail.com Thank you for watching and I will talk to you soon.

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