Hey survivors & thrivers In this video I am going to talking about why the narcissist takes you for granted. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one on one coaching, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org We have a private Reddit community where survivors & thrives can share their experiences and knowledge. If you would like to be a part of this community, you can sign up through our Patreon page, the link is in the video description. Check out the Narc Survivor merchandise store, where you can purchase your own Narc Survivor t-shirt or mug. We have a variety of designs and it is a great way to support the channel. The link to the Narc Survivor merchandise store is in the video description.
Why Does The Narcissist Take You For Granted? When the narcissist first met you, they recognised what you had to offer them. They liked your qualities, talents and traits. They like the attention and admiration you gave to them. You gave them positive energy, you made them feel good. You were empathic towards them. And when the narcissist first met you, they treated you in a similar way. They reflected back your positive energy. They treated you with kindness and respect. The problem is, although they liked your qualities, talents and traits in the beginning. They liked your attention and admiration of them, your positive energy and empathy. They liked all of that, but they didn't appreciate it. They couldn't recognise or understand the value of what you were giving to them. They liked it, but they didn't appreciate it. There is a difference between someone who likes you and what you can do for them and someone who understands your value and what it took for you to get to get to that level. The person who simply likes your qualities, talents or traits is only seeing the finished product. They're not thinking about all of the trials and tribulations you had to go through, the tests of your patience or endurance. All of the pain and suffering you had to endure, to learn and grow and become the person that you are today. They do not consider any of that, so naturally they are going to take you for granted. This is why narcissists are so envious and jealous. They have this arrogance and entitlement, that whatever you are or whatever you have as this finished product, they should be entitled to that. They don't consider all of your hard work, all of the time you dedicated to it. Because they don't recognise or understand the value of the finished product. They like it, but there is a difference between liking it and understanding the value of it. Narcissists are self absorbed, so they are not going to take the time to understand the value of anything. All they care about is what you can do for them. Narcissists are emotionally immature, so they're probably not even capable of understanding your value. They just like whatever they see on the surface, whatever can make them feel good, whatever can boost their self esteem in that moment. So when you start displaying these qualities, talents and traits. They are only looking at the results or the finished product of your hard work. They are not thinking about all of the time and effort that went into it. That went into creating the person that you are today. And unless these qualities, talents or traits can benefit them in some way and get them narcissistic supply or whatever it is they need in that moment. They will be envious or jealous of you. They will start to attack your character, personality, qualities, talents or traits. They will often attack the very things that attracted them to you, what they claimed to like about you in the love bombing phase. Once they start to feel that you are superior to them in some way, they will become bitter and resentful towards you. They will become envious or jealous. They start to see you as a threat to their self worth or self esteem. They feel like you are invalidating them or making them feel less important. Their way of balancing this out and trying to pull you back down to their level, is to attack your character, personality, qualities, talents, or traits. Because of their envy and jealousy, they have to see you as though you are worthless and insignificant. This is to regulate their own self worth and self esteem. How they see you reflects on how they see themselves. They always make comparisons and this is why they become so competitive. They cannot recognise or understand your value, so they cannot treat you the way that you deserve to be treated. They see you as an object which exists to serve them. Imagine a car, which requires fuel to drive. When the fuel is running low, you will put more fuel in the car if you wish to continue driving. The distance that you are driving in this car, can be likened to that of a relationship. If you want to the relationship to continue, you have to continue putting your time and effort into making it work. You have to give your relationship partner what he or she needs from you. The problem with narcissists is they take you for granted, they neglect you. So if we go back to the car analogy... Imagine the narcissist driving their car and it's running low on fuel. Rather than going to a fuel station, the narcissist will continue driving the car until it's completely broken down. And rather than identifying that the car has broken down because they neglected it and didn't give it the fuel it needs to perform. The narcissist will get out of the car and start kicking it while it's broken down and then probably find another one. Narcissists are not worthy or deserving of possessing anything valuable. Valuable possessions require care and maintenance. They require a process of preserving their condition or situation. Narcissists neglect the proper care or maintenance of their relationships. Which then deteriorates or alters their condition or situation. Normally when a person possesses something valuable, they will take responsibility for neglecting the proper care or maintenace of the valuable possession. But with the narcissist, they are just going to look at you as though something is wrong with you or you are not up to their standard. Anything of value, regardless of the quality or standard, will always require some form of care or maintenace, and this is what these narcissists don't understand. You cannot just neglect the proper care or maintenance of a relationship and then expect it to magically turn out ok on it's own. If you neglect the proper care or maintenance of something, it will have a deteriorating effect. And this is why narcissists are not worthy or deserving of anything of value. This is the problem with them. They don't self reflect or acknowledge that they are neglecting you. They expect you to fulfil their needs, without fulfilling yours. Time goes by and your health begins to deteriorate, you no longer know who you are any more. And rather than the narcissist identifying that they are not giving you the proper fuel which you require to perform at the optimum level which they expect from you... They will see it as though there is something wrong with you. You are not right or you are going crazy. And this is all because they don't recognise or understand your value. Which then leads to them neglecting you and not giving you what you need to perform at the optimum level. Even if you do manage to communicate with the narcissist and tell them what it is you require from them, it's not something that they are going to consider. They expect you to give them whatever it is that they need from you, whether they give you anything or not. Your compliance with them is a standard expectation, whether they reciprocate or not. They feel entitled to everything that you have to offer, as though you owe it to them. Also narcissists cannot get the same fulfilment as we can... So if you openly tell the narcissist what it is that you require from them, they are not going to change how they are treating you. We treat people however we feel inside. And since narcissists cannot get the same fulfilment as we can, they are not going to want you to be satisfied or fulfilled with anything in life. It will become a game, where the exact things you expect from them, they will then withhold from you. They cannot be satisfied or fulfilled, so they don't want you to be either. If they gave into your demands, then you would be satisfied and fulfilled and they wouldn't. Even if this is something mutual, which you are both engaged in together... They can't get the same fulfilment, so they are going to feel like they are losing out. While they have to watch you experience happiness and enjoyment, which just makes them feel even more miserable. So even if you tell them what it is that you require from them, nothing is going to change. They are just going to learn to start withholding whatever it is that is giving you satisfaction or fulfilment. Narcissists are self absorbed and lack empathy. It's all about them, it's all about what you can do for them. They see you as an object which exists to serve them. They neglect the proper care or maintenance of you. Which inevitably wears you down. They are not treating you right, or the way that you require to maintain that high level of performance, which they expect from you. Because they are not worthy or deserving of you, or anything of high value. Which results in them taking you for granted. They haven't developed the recognition or the understanding of your value. They haven't developed the understanding of what it took for you to possess the qualities, talents and traits which you possess. So they cannot appreciate you. They will only neglect your proper care or maintenance. Narcissists are low level people. You need to be around people who are of high value. A person who is going to be able to appreciate you will understand what it took for you to possess those qualities, talents and traits. They will understand the value of those qualities, talents and traits. They are going to be far less likely to take you for granted, because they understand value. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. And I will talk to you soon.