Another video for you. Please give it a like. Click the subscribe button in the bottom right corner of the video, or underneath the video, if you haven't subscribed yet. Share your thoughts in the comments section. And share the video with anyone you believe it may help.
The narcissist has to devalue you. Because your value is too high in their eyes. If that wasn't true, why would they ever need to devalue you? Narcissists only devalue those who they believe to have a higher value than they do. They want you to believe that you are not good enough for anything or anyone. Why do they want you to believe this? They want you to believe it because deep down that's exactly how they feel about themselves. They feel that they are not good enough for anything or anyone. But narcissists do not self reflect, they do not look within themselves, it's too painful for them. They can't deal with their painful negative emotions. And they can only hold them in for so long. At some point it has to come out of them. Since they do not look within themselves to deal with that, it has to come out on you. They end up projecting all of their flaws, faults and insecurities, all of their negative emotions, on to you. This is projection and they actually believe the exact opposite of you. But when you present yourself to them and you're looking good, you're happy and you have all of these good qualities... It triggers their inferiority complex. It triggers them to reflect on themselves, at least for a short time. It triggers them to feel intense hatred and anger towards themselves, which is then projected on to you. They also feel intense envy and jealousy. You may have high self esteem, self worth and self belief. Again, this triggers them to reflect on themselves. It triggers them to feel intense hatred, anger, envy and jealousy... And at that point they just want to tear you down, because they believe that you have made them feel that way. You are the cause of their negative emotions. Of course, this is not true... but that's how they think. They don't accept responsibility for how they feel. It's your fault. They are like emotionally immature toddlers and I have done a video on that too, so please check that out. So this is why the narcissist has to devalue you. Because they feel inferior to you. They are full of self-hatred and anger, which then becomes hatred and anger towards you. Pathological envy and jealousy. It makes them want to destroy all of your amazing qualities, just because they don't have them. Or they don't believe that their qualities are as good as yours. Narcissists have low self-esteem, low self-worth, low self-belief and low-self assurance. They don't think very highly of themselves, in fact they hate themselves. The grandiosity and fake self-love is just to compensate for how much they hate themselves. The truth is they believe that they are inferior to everyone else, they are more flawed than anyone else. And that's why they have to create this fake personality of being grandiose and better than everyone. They take it to extremes where they won't accept even a single flaw or mistake. Because then that would open the floodgates to all of their other flaws or mistakes. And that's just too painful for the narcissist to deal with. Codependents also have low self-worth, low self-esteem and low self belief. They are not self-assured people. This makes it easy for the narcissists to define them however they would like. Which is never going to be in a positive way. If you are a codependent, you need to rebuild your self worth and self esteem. You need to start believing in yourself, you need to start trusting your own intuition. You need to become self-assured. No one should allow an abuser to define their value. How is an abuser qualified in any way to define what you are worth? You are far more credible at defining your value as you've spent more time with yourself than anyone else has. You know yourself better than the abuser, although they will make you believe they know you better than you know yourself. It's time to start seeing these sadistic emotionally abusive predators for what they really are. Anyone who even attempts to devalue or manipulate you should lose their credibility there and then. As soon as they try to abuse you, you should realise that this is not a credible person. A person who is credible should not define your worth either. We define ourselves, we validate ourselves. That's why these qualities have "self" at the beginning. You define your worth, you define your belief in yourself... no one else. People can give you constructive criticism, but even then you decide what you do with that. When someone is trying to force their perception on to you, something is very wrong. They are most likely envious or jealous of you. And of your good qualities, your self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief and self-assurance. They don't have those qualities, so they don't want you to have them either. Bitter, envious, jealous people... stay the hell away from them. They will alter your self-perception. They will destroy all of your good qualities. Because they want you to be miserable and insecure just like they are. Leave them alone with their inferiority complex and get the hell out of there. Now that we have this awareness it should seem ridiculous that we ever allowed an abusive narcissist to define our value. Of all people, how is a narcissist credible to define our value? Just look at their distorted perceptions of themselves. They act the exact opposite of what they are. They never put the work in to develop their self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief or self-assurance. They just pretend they have it already. Their distorted perceptions of themselves are just as distorted as their perception of you. If the narcissist had value they wouldn't spend their lives doing everything they can to steal ours. The narcissist has no value, nothing to offer but words and an illusion. How someone treats or talks about another person, should say more about them than it does about anyone else. Do not give these insecure, inferiority complexed people the power to devalue you. You have all of these good qualities. You are everything they wish they were. They like it in the beginning, but when they realise that they can't partake and possess the good qualities which you possess. They get hateful and angry. They will obsessively stalk and force themselves upon you for years. Trying to take away your good qualities, trying to destroy you. Because they can't have those good qualities. They can't achieve or obtain what you are capable of achieving or obtaining. So why should you? That's why they have to do everything they can to stop you. They have to devalue you. They have to make you believe that you are not good enough for anything or anyone. Because really they know the opposite is true. If they really believed that you are not good enough for anything or anyone, there would be no problem. There would be no purpose to devaluing you. They just don't get it. In their warped arrogant minds they really believe they have something that we want. In reality they have everything we don't want. In the narcissist's mind, it doesn't matter what you think or how you feel about it. Your thoughts and feelings are insignificant and invalid. The reason for this is because the narcissist has no self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief or self-assurance. They try to obtain all of these qualities from external sources. So they believe that they have the right to define you, to be your source of defining your worth. Because that's how they operate in the world. Their worth, their belief in themselves, their assurance is all from external sources. That's why their self-worth, self-esteem, self-belief and self-assurance are so low. It's all based on what other people think of them. And everything they display to other people is constructed or staged in a way so that they will be approved of. They tell people whatever they want to hear, they show people whatever they want to see. They create illusions and make up stories. They exaggerate their accomplishments and minimise their faults or mistakes. And they base their worth from all of these fake illusions and stories. Narcissists are some of the most inauthentic and dishonest people you will ever meet, they are living a lie. And now they are trying to get you to be the same way, by devaluing you and having you accustomed you having your worth defined by external sources. The reason why your thoughts and feelings are invalid to the narcissist, and theirs are so significant is because deep down they believe the exact opposite. Narcissists believe that their thoughts and feelings have no value or credibility. They cover it with a false display that everything they say or do is significant and whatever you think or believe doesn't matter. The narcissist has no self-worth and they are full of self-hate. Yet everything they say or do is an attempt to prove that they have value or that they love themselves. They are walking contradictions. They have cognitive dissonance, two conflicting beliefs. And you trust these people? You give them the power to devalue you and define your worth?Bad idea. Define your worth. Rebuild your self-worth, self-esteem and self-belief. Assure yourself, validate yourself. Don't let anyone else do that, they are not credible or qualified in any way to define you. They don't want you to be you, they hate you. People who are full of hate, anger, envy and jealousy are always going to have distorted perceptions. They entertain these dysfunctional thoughts and base their perceptions off of their weak and immature emotions. Perceptions based off of emotions are always going to be distorted and inaccurate. Thank you for watching. I hope you enjoyed the video. Please remember to like and share your thoughts in the comments. Subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet. And share the video with anyone who you believe it may help. I will talk to you soon.