Hey survivors. Welcome to the video. I haven't done a video for some time because I was away for my birthday.
I decided to do this video today on a very important topic, discussing why the narcissist continues to pursue you after the relationship is over. After the discard phase.
Please like, comment and share the video with anyone you believe it may help. Subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet, so you can receive the notifications for my future videos. This video could be interpreted in a few different ways, depending on your situation.
You could interpret it from a relationship setting, where you recently experienced the discard phase, or you left them. Maybe you made it clear to them that it's over and yet they continue to pursue you. Or they've told you that they want nothing to do with you, yet they continue to pursue you.
This video could also apply to narcissistic friendships. This video could apply to being constantly stalked and harassed by gangstalkers or people who are romantically interested in you. If you have experienced any one of those situations, this video is likely to resonate with you.
Ok so why does the narcissist continue to pursue you? Why do they continue to pursue you so consistently and aggressively? Why can't they just leave you alone to live your life? Why can't they just move on with their lives? The narcissist struggles to move on from you. They can't just let you go. You might even believe that they are gone and no longer thinking about you. But all the while they have been stalking you. Watching everything you are doing, everywhere you are going, everyone you are with. They have this obsessive nature which prevents them from ever really moving on. There is always something triggering in their minds, where they are wondering what they might be missing out on. Their lives are dull and boring, they rarely experience any real fun or excitement. Observing your life is far more entertaining for them. They also recognise that you hold a great deal of value. You are a valuable person and they know this. They knew this from the first moment they set eyes on you. From the moment they first met you, they knew they were not worthy or deserving of you. But narcissist do not care whether they are worthy or deserving or not. All they care about is what they want, nothing else matters to them. Remember, they are self-absorbed. They don't care about anyone else, they only care about their own needs. So all they care about is what they want. What do they want? They want attention, validation and approval. They want a sense of power and control over an individual or group, or even an entire community if possible. They want someone to believe in and share their illusions. They want someone who they can constantly abuse, manipulate and gaslight without consequences. They want someone who they can show fake love to and then hate, then show fake love to again, then hate again. Someone who they can put on a pedestal, just so there's a big drop when they put them down. This is all narcissistic supply. So to summarise, the narcissist wants narcissistic supply. I have said in my videos on The Narcissist Harassing & Stalking You, that I have what they want. I was their source of narcissistic supply, so of course I do have what they want. I have high energy, empathy and consideration. I have love and I like to help people. If I see something that's not right, I like to fix it, I like to resolve the situation. Narcissists love people like that... that's exactly what they look for in a target. They don't want someone who isn't going care when things start going wrong. They don't want someone who doesn't care about helping or fixing others. With a person like that, the manipulation would just completely fall apart before it has even started. They have to target a person who has a heart, someone who cares. They cannot sustain any supply from a heartless person who doesn't care about anyone. They have to target a person who is going to want to give to them. Narcissists do not possess the good qualities which we possess. They have to feed off our high energy, our vibrations. They feed off our empathy and consideration for them. They feed off our love and kindness. Our attention, validation and approval. Our willingness to allow them to have power and control over us, because we just want to help. They feed off of all of that. So yes, I have what they want. I am very valuable to any narcissist. If you are watching this video, it's likely that you are too. The narcissist greatly values high-energy, empathic, loving, caring people. They cannot survive without constant attention, validation and approval. Without that, they would probably go insane, before doing whatever it takes to get it. So they continue to pursue you because you have what they want. You have all of the wonderful qualities which they desire. The high energy which they crave. The love, the care, the empathy. The attention, validation and approval. You have what they want. Of course, once you have seen through the narcissist. Or once you have decided that you are no longer going to put up with their bullshit. They will not want anything to do with you. You will become a lost cause, you will be dead to them. They need someone that's going to give them everything they need, without question. Without disputing their abusive and manipulative ways. So at that point, the relationship has to end. But that doesn't mean that they will simply move on and forget about you. They want you to think that you ain't shit and they can just move on without a care, without a second thought about you. That's exactly what they want you to think. They don't want to give you the satisfaction of knowing how much they really need you. They want you to believe that you are completely worthless and insignificant. And from the devaluation phase onwards, they will do and say whatever it takes to really make you believe that. But really the opposite is true. They can't just forget about you, they can't just move on. Even when they do try to move on, they only end up looking for you in someone else and never finding you. When they realise that the new source is not you, they will begin adjusting them so that they are more like you. They might introduce them to the things that you liked. The same music, clothing, hobbies and interests... whatever it takes to have that feeling again. Because the truth is, they never really got over you. How could they? They never acknowledged their emotions. They didn't self-reflect or look within themselves. They didn't accept responsibility or accountability for anything that they did. Everything was a lie, they never accepted the truth of the situation. Without truth, there is no resolution. Which means that they can never move on. They are stuck in this endless cycle, constantly trying to replace you with someone else. They are not thinking about you, they never loved or cared about you. But what is on their mind is everything you gave to them, everything they wanted from you. You were once a great source of narcissistic supply, perfect in their eyes. And although the relationship may have ended badly, they are not thinking about that. The narcissist never acknowledges any of their faults or mistakes. They do not accept responsibility or accountability for anything that they do. So they have nothing to think about regarding what they have done wrong. They are self-absorbed, they only care about themselves and their own needs. So as long as you have what they want, they are going to keep coming back. They are going to keep feeding off you. The narcissist feels entitled to your energy and time. Although they know that they are not worthy or deserving of you. It's that arrogance and entitlement which keeps them coming back. They see you as an object or as an extension of them. They don't see you as a separate person with your own desires, wants, needs and feelings. They don't take any of that into consideration, unless there is a way to use that to manipulate you, or get what they want from you. They are not capable of following up with the correct and proper action. They are not capable of giving you the proper care or support which you may desire from them. They are greatly lacking in care and support for themselves. Even if you were showering them with endless praise. Endless attention, validation and approval. It doesn't matter, remember narcissists are like bottomless buckets. No amount of anything could ever sustain them. No amount of anything could give them satisfaction or fulfilment. So with all of the attention, validation and approval you were giving them. All of the love and care. You may have thought that they were satisfied and fulfilled in that moment. But they were not. They still felt just as empty and lifeless as they have always felt. And when someone does not feel loved or cared for, how are they supposed to reciprocate. They cannot love or care for themselves. Remember, they cannot self-reflect or look within. That's why they need a source of supply at all times. They cannot survive for long without that. So they have no love or care for us in their hearts. They have no empathy or consideration. All they can do is take from us. Steal our life, energy and qualities. Leaving us feeling drained and lifeless. They are not complete themselves, so they could never compliment us in a relationship, friendship or anything else. They might be able to create an illusion in the beginning. They have watched how other people interact, they know how to simulate the feeling of loving and caring for someone. They know how to imitate that and make you believe that you are with someone who cares about you and wants to give to you. But they cannot sustain this illusion for very long. And that's when the devaluation phase comes in. If they cannot fool you into believing that they do love and care for you. If they cannot get you to buy into their illusion, then negative supply will have to do. And in most cases, they actually prefer to have a negative source of supply. They love drama, that's the kind of environment they were raised in. It excites them, it makes them feel alive. They are addicted to drama. The only reason they didn't display this to you in the beginning is because they knew you would be running as fast as you can. They knew that you wouldn't want anything to do with them after that. That's why they create this false character, this false personality. It's designed to lure you in and make you believe that you are in a loving and caring relationship. Once they have made you believe that you are emotionally connected to them or in love with them. Now it's time to turn up the heat, now it's time to make you suffer. So from the devaluation phase onwards, that's when you see who they really are. That's when all of the abuse, manipulation and reality distortion begins. Once the relationship is over, they know the effects that all of this is having on your mind. They know that you are going to be in pain, they know that you are going to be suffering. And just the thought of this is enough to give them narcissistic supply. But you know what really does it for them? You know what really gets them off? Seeing it for themselves. And this is another reason why they will continue to pursue you. It's so they can observe the aftermath of everything they did to you. Narcissists are sadistic. They derive pleasure from inflicting pain, suffering, humiliation or exploitation on others. Of course this is not normal. But your pain gratifies them greatly, they love it. There is just something about it that really does it for them. They love mentally torturing you, they love to watch you suffer. They love to humiliate you in public and exploit you as much as they can. They are sadistic, they enjoy your pain. You may try to avoid hurting the narcissist. You may feel guilty, remorseful and distressed from hurting someone. Narcissists enjoy being cruel and even find it exciting. They gain some form of emotional benefit from observing your suffering, it makes them feel alive. They will continue to pursue you and observe your pain and suffering for this reason. And also to compensate for their deep-rooted insecurities, low self worth and low self esteem. It helps to regulate their intense negative emotions, the pain and misery that they feel everyday. After an act of cruelty, their mood begins to lighten. It appears that the narcissist's appetite for sadism and cruelty derives from some diabolical need. Narcissists have an underlying deficit that is a sated through the rewards of commiting an act of cruelty. I hope this video has helped to explain the reasons why the narcissist continues to pursue you. To summarise, the first reason is because you have what they want. You have high energy, empathy, consideration, love, care, attention, validation and approval. You give them a sense of power and control by complying with whatever their desired situation demands. The second reason is because of their sadistic and cruel nature. Following the devaluation and discard phase where they have endlessly abused and manipulated you and distorted your reality... they want to observe the aftermath of their work, they want to see the effects it is having on you. Narcissists really are some of the most sick, twisted people you will ever meet. It is not normal for a human being to derive pleasure or gratification from committing an act of sadism or cruelty. It is in our nature to be empathic and considerate to one another. I believe that sadism is a learned behaviour, it was taught to them by their parents or other people in their environment. They enjoyed the high that it gave them and soon became addicted, maybe even conditioned to engaging in this sick, dysfunctional behavior. The problem is, they probably never considered the consequences of indulging in something like this. They have turned away from love, empathy and consideration... which no longer satisfies or fulfills them any more. Now, just to feel normal, they are compelled to commit acts of sadism or cruelty. Just to feel alive, just to feel like they still exist. Maybe that's their karma, to be locked into this kind of behaviour. To never know real truth or love. To never understand or experience the real satisfaction and fulfilment from loving, from caring, from empathising and being considerate to another human being. To know that you are making a positive difference in another person's life. From my personal experience, there is nothing more satisfying or fulfilling than that. The narcissist has moved so far away from love that they will never get the experience this. They find it gratifying to hurt you, committing acts of sadism or cruelty. Really they do not know the meaning of satisfaction, as there is nothing more satisfying than being there for another person. Loving them, caring for them, making them feel understood. I love what I do on this channel. I love that I am providing you with my knowledge and experiences. I love that it is helping you and providing you with a further understanding of your situation. I love that you are healing and recovering from narcissistic abuse. Thank you for watching this video. Please like, comment and share this video with anyone who you believe it may help. Subscribe if you haven't subscribed yet. I will talk to you soon.