When The Narcissist Is Out For REVENGE

Narcissists are very vengeful. They will often seek to harm you in return for a perceived injury. They can be resentful and unforgiving, holding grudges and refusing to forgive or excuse people's faults or wrongdoings. They can be bitter because they believe they have been treated unfairly.

They can seem infuriated and exasperated, holding strong feelings of anger and dislike sometimes for a lifetime, because they believe you have treated them badly. They often seek satisfaction at your expense, as though you are duty-bound or indebted to them, or as though you must fulfil their wishes, expectations, or needs.

These types of narcissists are usually vulnerable or covert. They are more introverted, insecure, and extremely sensitive to criticism. They may blame you for their mistakes, lash out at perceived disapproval, and exploit you for their own personal gain because they feel entitled. They always have to get what they want.

However, there are times when people don't get what they want. When this happens to the narcissist, even if they have been given positive feedback or ways to improve, they don't take it as helpful or encouraging. They are not being discriminated against or treated differently than others, so it's not biased or unfair. They may have an equal and fair chance like anyone else, yet they still can't learn from it.

Even in situations where the other person may have been better qualified or had more experience, in their minds, it's still unjust and unfair. They will always look for ways to deny or contradict it. They won't use it to learn, grow, or be better in the future because they believe they were entitled to it. They think they have experienced a disservice or injustice, even if you have done everything in your power to please and satisfy them. It's just never enough. Nothing you do will ever make them happy because it's not your problem to fix. They have a mental disorder.

Instead of accepting their own faulty judgments and interpretations, they will bring in solicitors and begin their campaign against you because they believe you have taken something from them. When they move on to the next situation, they are already looking for reasons to defame the next person's character because they believe they have been wronged and can't be satisfied. This desire to punish carries on to whoever else they are dealing with.

Whether you leave them or they leave you, it can still affect them because they always feel like they are missing out on something. They feel like they have lost something or could have had something. If you leave them or don't want to be involved with them for any reason, they treat it as disrespect, as though you have insulted or offended them. It causes an emotional wound, deep pain, anger, and fear. They believe they have lost a special right, advantage, or immunity, even if all you did was criticize them accurately. If they misperceive it, they may take it as rejection, as though you dismissed or refused their proposal or idea.

They will often come to you with opinions or explanations about the situation, commenting on your lack of knowledge or ability. They may say you lack honesty or moral principles, or that your behaviour is not good or acceptable in society, making you responsible for their pain. They dominate you, exercising control over you because they have to be the most important person in your life. They need to have a commanding position over you because they can't deal with the fact that you want nothing to do with them or that they can't control your life.

They will act stubborn and naïve, trying to change the natural course of things just to have an opportunity to decide or control something. They show a dogged determination not to change their attitude or position despite good arguments or reasons to do so. They just want to be difficult and inconvenient, causing hardships and problems. They want to make things awkward, being hard to please or satisfy, which may seem childish and immature. They just want to have control because it feels better when they are in charge, even though it's not good for them or others.

A lot of their decisions have no meaning and make no sense because they are impractical and ill-advised. They are foolish, illogical, and irrational, displaying a lack of careful consideration of the possible consequences of their actions. They lack the capacity to gain an accurate or deep intuitive understanding. They are self-centred, excessively fond of talking while not listening to others, resulting in a lack of awareness and insight, making them difficult to reason with.

They will target vulnerable people or dominate those they deem equal or superior by saying or doing things to prove they are better. They develop the art of successfully outdoing, surpassing, and overshadowing you. They are careful about targeting those in higher positions because they know it could get them into trouble. Sometimes, they just can't help themselves, targeting those superior to them in a subtle way, making it difficult to analyse or describe. It's complex and understated, under the radar, using clever and indirect methods to achieve it. They see it as a form of craftsmanship or as though they are some kind of mastermind.

However, a covert narcissist is nowhere near as skilled as a grandiose or even a vulnerable narcissist, and that's before you even get into the spectrum of psychopathy. The craft of manipulation can often seem comical and amusing, especially if you are an observer looking from the outside. You may find you can see through their gaslighting quickly and easily because often no thought goes into it. It's just whatever they are thinking about in the moment because they are clearly in a lot of pain, experiencing annoyance, anxiety, and boredom. They are not satisfied with the way things are, which is why they complain a lot and are unreasonable and difficult to deal with. They are in denial, believing their own lies, making it difficult for them to grow as a person because they are not open to new ideas or experiences.

Even their revenge tactics and strategies are just things they have lived in childhood. They are childish and immature, thinking it's strange and wonderful when it's simply creepy and weird to anyone else. Everything they do is reactive, a response to something another person has said or done. They will often start smear campaigns and employ flying monkeys, who are typically unintelligible fools acting on the narcissist's behalf. They engage in unimportant work obediently for the narcissist, like the narcissist's dogs, with few or no important responsibilities. They typically have nothing better to do with their lives.

Everything they do is not designed to change the current situation, because flying monkeys are narcissistic as well or have some other cluster B disorder. They have no interest in changing anything or seeking a sense of resolve. Everything they do is designed to punish by dragging you into their world of unfairness and discontentment.

When the narcissist is out for revenge, it's clear they are constantly thinking about you. They have been thinking carefully about you for a long time, having deep thoughts that resulted in emotional distress. They focus on things they found insulting or unfair, what they believe rather than what actually happened. They imagine it as greater or more impactful than it was until it takes over their minds, becoming intolerable and insufferable, something they can no longer endure. It arouses fierce anger, shock, and indignation, leading to an unreasoning desire for revenge, all generated in their own mind rather than the actual event.

This need for revenge eventually destroys themselves and everything around them. Even in the midst of the carnage they cause, they will still blame you, believing you made them do it. They think their desire for revenge will relieve their anxiety or distress, but it never does. It just agitates and works them up even more, getting them all riled up and infuriated. Everything they do becomes about revenge, trying to outdo you and prove they are better than you. However, it only proves how contemptible they really are because no normal, sane person would go out of their way to do these things to someone. It's meaningless and purposeless, serving no purpose other than to temporarily relieve their pain and distress. They will continue their campaign until you finally give in, seeing it as showing a confident and forceful personality, being assertive so people take notice. But all they are really doing is breaking you down until you finally say yes, even if just to stop them from criticizing you or putting pressure on you, or just to get rid of them.

All this comes down to their lack of emotional regulation. They have an inability to regulate their own emotions, which is why even if they manage to destroy you, they wouldn't learn anything from it or grow as a person. It would just present another problem or difficulty because their desire for revenge is not logical or reasonable. In the end, no one wins. Everyone gets to see the narcissist for what they are, exposing themselves to the world while still being unable to see it themselves. They lack insight and depth of discernment, unable to tell that you don't take them seriously because you already know it's foolish and unacceptable. They don't want to be on the other end of it because they know they have done a number on you, deceived, humiliated, and criticized you in a calculated and thorough way. But they don't want to accept it, can't deal with the shame, so they live in denial, detaching from truth and reality, engaging in vengeful tactics that are rebellious, aggressive, and self-destructive, ultimately having an adverse and contrary effect, very different from what they originally intended. They end up causing serious harm to themselves, destroying everything in their path before even considering admitting something is wrong with them, which a narcissist would never do. Even if they did, by the time they arrived at that conclusion, it would already be too late. They would have no choice but to continue on their path because the damage is done, often irreversible, beyond repair, unable to be undone. They have already burnt the bridge, destroyed their path, connections, reputations, and opportunities, committing themselves to an irreversible course by going off on their campaigns, showing an unreasoning desire for revenge with no sense of resolve. Although they may try to hide it, I genuinely believe this is what haunts them, permeating throughout all their actions and behaviours. It's the reason they hold grudges for life, can't let go, because deep down they know things would have turned out very differently if they were out of the picture, if they had never been a part of your life, if they never got involved. They know your life would have been very different. They know it's them.

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