What Narcissists HOPE Happen After Discard

There’s something that narcissists expect and anticipate will happen after they discard you. It’s very different from what a normal person might want for their former partner after a breakup. In a typical breakup, you might feel angry and hurt, but eventually, you process those emotions, move on, and even wish the best for the other person. You hope they find happiness and success, without holding any hostility or grudges. Perhaps you even hope they’ll have an epiphany, feel remorse for their actions, and realise what they had with you.

However, when dealing with a narcissist, the situation is entirely different. Narcissists feel no remorse for what they’ve done. They are self-absorbed and lack empathy, so they’re not interested in changing or becoming better people. Instead, they focus on becoming better manipulators. They most certainly do not want what’s best for you. Narcissists do not take pleasure in your success or good fortune. On the contrary, they are malicious and hurtful, wishing for bad things to happen to you. They desire to hurt, bother, and infuriate you because they are cruel, mean, and vengeful.

After discarding you, narcissists hope they’ve succeeded in destroying who you are. They want you to remain stuck. Narcissists are skilled and strategic in their efforts to destroy their victims. Everything they do is carefully designed and planned to serve their own purposes and advantages. They act with full awareness of the likely consequences, which is why they target your inner foundation.

Your inner foundation is what helps you live with less stress and overwhelm. It enables you to make decisions that shape your future for the better. Narcissists weaken this foundation to make you feel as though life is constantly knocking you down, just when things seem to be getting back on track. They pressure you and target your sense of structure, leaving you overwhelmed and unable to make meaningful changes in your life.

Narcissists attack your mindset, values, habits, strengths, and relationships. Without a strong foundation, you may feel less resilient and less wise. What you may not realise is that they’ve been doing this from the very beginning. Narcissists have a desperate need to gain a psychological advantage over you, which is why they’ve been targeting your self-esteem for so long. Nothing makes a narcissist feel better about themselves than knowing their victim is less powerful and less confident.

They steal the things that make you unique, adopting them as their own personality traits, or they use force and chaos to eradicate your feelings towards the things you love. By the end of the relationship, you may feel like a completely different person compared to who you were at the start. It’s as though you’ve developed two different personalities because you were never allowed to be yourself. Narcissists instil false beliefs within you, making you feel as though you’re not enough, as though you’re a failure who doesn’t deserve anything.

Narcissists do not want you to succeed. Your success harms how they see themselves because their false identity is tied to your struggles. When you succeed, it leaves them powerless over you. It renders them ineffective, stripping away their control over how they see themselves. They cannot regulate their emotions internally, which is why they seek to destroy you not only during the relationship but also after it ends. They want you to continue the job for them by staying negative and pessimistic.

Narcissists do not want you to move on or be happy. They want you to live inauthentically, just like them. While you may have the ability to heal and grow, they cannot. They are incapable of becoming better people. They live for their false self and are aware that you have a true self, even if you’re not aware of it. They want you to live with a false self because they cannot bear the idea of you having something they lack.

They achieve this by taking away your free will and preventing you from being yourself. They invalidate your thoughts and feelings, shaming you for having your own perspective until you no longer feel safe being yourself. Whenever you were authentic, they lashed out at you because authenticity is something they don’t possess. They made you feel unsafe being yourself, so you stopped living authentically and instead adopted a false self to protect yourself.

The false self you develop is different from the narcissist’s. While they pretend to be something they’re not, you stopped being yourself to feel safe. They kept you stuck in a trauma response—fight, flight, freeze, or fawn—until you became co-dependent. You became mentally, emotionally, or even physically reliant on the narcissist because it didn’t feel safe to be yourself. You stopped being yourself and became what made the narcissist happy, which is exactly what they wanted.

Narcissists create drama, trauma, and chaos, piling responsibilities onto you. You may feel compelled to prove to others that they are the real abuser, but this is exactly what they want. They are master manipulators who have been smearing your name from the very beginning, making others believe you are the problem. When you figure this out and leave them, or they discard you, they are already prepared. They understand that your authenticity is a threat to their reputation, which is why they go to such lengths to create a false narrative.

Narcissists enjoy seeing you try to prove that you were victimised by them because they know you’ll never out manipulate them. They’ve been manipulating people their entire lives because they couldn’t get their needs met by being authentic. They understand that you can, which is why they know you’ll never stoop to their level. They manipulate people to control them and prop up their fragile egos. They thrive on putting others down and making them feel inferior. They know you would feel guilty doing what they do, which is why they love it when you try to prove your innocence. It distracts you from your life, which is exactly what they want.

Narcissists don’t want you to have something they can’t. They are empty inside, driven to seek validation at any cost to construct a façade and manipulate those around them. Their entire life is a lie, and deep down, they know it. This is why they get angry when you confront them. Your genuine desire to help others and bring positivity to the world reminds them of their emptiness. They hate that your cup is full because they know their life will never be like that.

From the very beginning, narcissists are two steps ahead, manipulating you before they even fully know who you are. They know that no matter how great you are or how much you achieve, it will never be enough to fill the void inside them. They’ve already given up on themselves and their lives, believing that manipulation and exploitation are the only ways to get what they want.

Narcissists want you to focus on them because it gives them supply—it gives them your energy. They don’t want you to focus on yourself. They want you to focus on people who don’t believe you, further invalidating and gaslighting you, isolating you, and keeping you alone. They seek to dominate and control, hating your resilience and opposing any progress or happiness you achieve. While you can move on, they cannot. Your happiness and joy are direct threats to their power.

To heal and rediscover yourself, you must remove toxic people from your life and the influence they’ve had over you. Narcissists do not want you to heal because they don’t want to heal themselves. They will always be stuck at the same emotional development as their childhood traumas. They perpetuate their disorder, seeking narcissistic supply. When someone doesn’t follow their script or figures out the truth about them, it causes a narcissistic injury. They will then do everything in their power to devalue and degrade that person.

Ultimately, you are the one with the power to change. You must do the inner work, process your emotions, and seek guidance from a licensed therapist to support your healing journey.