Hey survivors In this video I am going to be discussing what happens when you discard the narcissist. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one on one coaching, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
What Happens When You Discard The Narcissist When you start thinking about the discarding the narcissist, it is because you have realised that if you don't do something about it, nothing is going to be done. Nothing is going to change. When you get to the point where you are thinking about discarding the narcissist, it is because you have tried talking to them, you have tried to work things out. And you have come to the conclusion that nothing you say or do in that situation is going to make any difference. Because they like the dysfunctional environment, it works for them. It helps them to extract or obtain what they need from you. But when you start thinking about discarding the narcissist, it is because you are fed up of being used. You are fed up of giving everything that you have to offer and receiving nothing but abuse and manipulation in return. The narcissist is counting on you not questioning or confronting them. They might try to make you believe that something is wrong with you or you're not good enough, which leaves you trying to prove yourself to them, not realising that they never did anything for you. You gave them everything you had to offer, while they gave you nothing or the bare minimum in return. They believe that they can hide the truth by using denial, projection, blameshifting and gaslighting. But they often underestimate their targets, who later end up figuring them out. Because the narcissist exaggerates their importance or their abilities to manipulate a target, they don't really believe that you are going to leave. They have groomed you to stay fixated on them. They have primed or trained you to focus on them and to be unable to focus on anything outside of them. This is designed to keep you in their controlled environment with them. Once you have come to the realisation that you were trained to be a certain way or act a certain way, for their benefit or gain, you realise that you need to get out of there. You have woken up to the truth of what has been going on all of this time while you were with them. This is a real shock to the narcissist. They didn't expect you to suddenly wake up and realise what is going on. They expected you to remain asleep, complying with their demands, doing whatever they want you to do. So when you finally wake up and realise what they have been doing to you, it is a shock to them. But they don't really believe that you're going to leave. They don't even think of it as a possibility. When you discard the narcissist, it is a real shock to them. They panic, they're terrified, hysterical. They try to recreate the love bombing phase. They will bring back the fake character that they displayed to you at the beginning. They might start being kind to you again to try and make you believe that they're not as bad as you thought they were. They will start telling you what you want to hear, showing you what you want to see. They will use future faking in the hopes of it keeping you around. If you don't fall for any of these manipulation tactics and you actually leave for real, then they will really start to panic. They will verbally abuse you. They will put you down and make you feel like you're not good enough to go off on your own. They want you to feel like no one else would want you other than them. They will bring up things that you have told them, things that may have happened in the past and they will now use all of that against you. If that doesn't work they will start a smear campaign against you. They will make damaging statements about you to everyone around you. Wherever you go, whatever you do... they want everyone to see you in the same way that they do. They don't want anyone to have their own separate, independent opinion of you. Because they already know that you come across as a kind, caring person. But they don't want anyone to see you that way. They don't want you to be able to move on and start a new life without them. So they will start a smear campaign against you. And they want you to know that people are talking about you or seeing you in a negative light... It's designed to make you feel as though you've messed up. This is what they do when they're in that state of panic and they're terrified that you are going to leave them. They don't want you to have a life after them. If you go no contact and they are unable to find you or talk to you, then they will really put all of their time and effort into assassinating your character. They will be left without a primary source of supply, which puts them in a state of desperation. They have to quickly prime or train their secondary source of supply, who was probably around even while they were with you and make them the primary source of supply. Many times they don't want to do this, they might not know enough about the secondary source of supply. But when they lose their primary source, they haven't really got a choice. This is why they want to be in control, they want to be the ones that discard you. When you discard them, you've just messed up everything that they had planned for you. Now that their secondary source has become the primary source, they will triangulate them with you. They will use them in an attempt to make you jealous and get you interested in them again. This can happen in just a few days after you have discarded them. It doesn't take long, because most often the secondary source was already around while you were with them. They choose the secondary source of out desperation, because they never expected you to leave and not come back. Once they know that you're not coming back, they will try to start a relationship with the new source. The cycle repeats itself again. The new source goes through the love bombing phase. Then the narcissist looks for another target, incase something happens with the new source. Then the new source goes through the devaluation and discard phase, just as you went through. The narcissist expects the relationship to end from the beginning. They know that it's only a matter of time until you stop putting up with them. But they prefer to be the ones to discard you. You are never the only one with the narcissist. They've got to have a backup source. They cannot deal with being alone. Even when they advance the secondary source to being the primary source, they're already looking for another secondary source in that situation. They already expect this to happen from the beginning of the relationship. It is a cycle, a repeated sequences of events. Just as there were many before you, there will be many after you are gone. They leave behind them a trail of victims that they have attempted to damage or destroy. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching enquiries, you can email me at email@example.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.