Hey survivors In this video I am going to be talking about what happens if you go no contact with the narcissist. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. If you are interested in one on one coaching, you can email me at firstname.lastname@example.org
What Happens If You Go No Contact With The Narcissist When you go no contact with the narcissist, you will no longer take their phone calls. You will block them on social media. And you will stop seeing or speak to them. You might also avoid interacting with anyone that knows them. When you go contact with the narcissist, they will try to test you. They will try to observe and analyse what you are doing. They have to make interpretations or give some sort of explanation or meaning of your actions. As though they are translating your actions into some form of interpretation in their minds. They have to read into what you are doing, to calculate your emotional state and determine what is going on in your mind. They need to know what you are thinking or feeling, so they can then plot their next sequence of events. It makes them feel as though they have some level of control over you. So the first thing they are going to try to do when you go no contact, is they are going to try to hoover you. They might have made it very clear that they do not want you. They may even be in a relationship with someone else. Regardless of this, if you go no contact with the narcissist, they will try to hoover you. By going no contact with the narcissist, you have left them without a source of supply. This puts them in a state of desperation. The narcissist cannot be alone. They will usually have a secondary source of supply, during the devaluation phase when they are with you. They have to quickly prime or train their secondary source of supply, who was probably around even while they were with you and make them the primary source of supply. Many times they don't want to do this, they might not know enough about the secondary source of supply. But when they lose their primary source, they haven't really got a choice. This is why they want to be in control, they want to be the ones that discard you. When you discard them, you've just messed up everything that they had planned for you. When you go no contact with the narcissist, they will often start a smear campaign against you. This is where they will try to discredit you by making false accusations. They usually project their own bad behaviours on to you. If they were cheating, lying or stealing, they will tell everyone that you were cheating, lying or stealing. They might even try to orchestrate situations before you go no contact to make it appear as though you are a bad person. They can do this by provoking you to react in public, so that it makes it look like you are the perpetrator. When you go no contact with the narcissist, the abuse that you experienced while in the relationship will often escalate. They might start stalking and harassing you. They might show up at your home or where you work. They could even become physically abusive, even if they were never physically abusive before. When you go no contact with the narcissist, they feel a sense of loss. Narcissists hate to lose, they want to win. They don't care if they lose everything in the process, they don't care about the effect it might have on your children... All they care about is winning. They will fight for custody of the children, even if they don't want them. They will try to keep the house, even if they don't want it. All they really care about is winning. And they don't care about the consequences of their actions, because they don't even accept responsibility. When you try to go no contact with the narcissist, they don't take it seriously. They see it as a game. Just as they often played the game of going no contact with you. The truth is, everything is just a game to them. It doesn't matter if you've lost everything, or they've physically abused you... it wouldn't make a difference if someone died in the process of them trying to win this game. So regardless of anything that might have happened, no matter how tragic or devastating, they will want to continue playing the game. In this game, regardless of what they have done to you or what you have had to go through, in their minds they are the victim. Anything that they have done wrong, they will shift the blame on to you. And they will make sure their flying monkeys see you in the exact same way. They will look for ways to see themselves as the victims, rather than you. The flying monkeys will often join in with this game. These types of people are very insecure and this is projected on to you when they try to control you. They will also use you as a tool to regulate their emotions or boost their self esteem. In most cases, the game doesn't end unless one of you dies or moves away. Thank you for watching. I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe. Click the bell icon to receive notifications for my future videos. If you would like to donate, my PayPal link is in the video description. Coaching enquiries, you can email me at email@example.com Thank you for watching and I'll talk to you soon.