Hey survivors & thrivers
In this video I am going to be discussing what exactly the narcissist is trying to achieve, by abusing and manipulating you everyday
and distorting your reality.
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What Are Narcissists Trying To Achieve?
Why do they abuse and manipulate you everyday? Why are constantly devaluing and degrading you? Publicly humiliating and exploiting you? Why are they trying to distort your reality?
What is the purpose of all of this? When you first met them, you were lured into the relationship. You were tempted to do something or go somewhere. They likely offered you some form of reward.
Or they implicated that this was going to be a reciprocal interaction or relationship. This was most likely to have been conveyed to you indirectly, rather than in a clear or detailed manner, leaving no room for confusion
or doubt.
Some narcissists due to their magical thinking and exaggerated qualities or abilities, will tell you directly about all of these plans
for the future, but it will never be followed up with action.
These types of narcissists are going to be more controlling, they will be aggressive or physically abusive to you if you ever try to
leave. They will completely isolate you and restrict any finances so that you cannot leave.
Other narcissists have to be more covert, they have to convey it to you indirectly because are afraid that you might leave them. They create these illusions to lure you in.
They give deceptive appearences or impressions. They make you believe that they are high energy people. Loyal, honest or trustworthy and that they are going to be cooperative with you.
You may possess these qualities yourself. You may not realise that this person was feeding off your own energy and then reflecting it back to you.
They were mirroring you and appealing to your own ideals. They weren't really about any of that, but they knew that you were. So they played their part to lure you into the relationship.
Knowing all along that they didn't even possess the energy, the qualities, talents or positive traits that you were looking for. The illusion was just to make you believe that they were something you might be interested.
They are masters of deception and manipulation. They've had years of practice at doing this. They had to, it was essential for their survival, essential for them to trick unsuspecting victims... who otherwise wouldn't have
looked twice at them, if they didn't create these illusions through mirroring them and appealing to their own ideals. Once you start to believe in these people, once you start to trust that they are really about something, they've got you.
And as long as you believe in them, they don't need to follow it up with any action. Because they know that you're still going to be there waiting for them, since you have bought the lie that they are about something reciprocal or cooperative.
But they're not, they never were. It was all about them right from the start, they are self absorbed and lack empathy. They don't care about you, they never even considered you. It was all about them and what they could get out of you to benefit them in some way.
The best you will ever get from them is an illusion. That's really all they are capable of. The illusion is like a drug. It leaves you in a state of controlled, temporary loss of sensation or awareness.
You become paralysed or numb, deprived of the power of physical sensation. Deprived of feeling or responsiveness. Unable to see truth or reality. You become deprived of your real emotions.
And now you are left with these emotions which the narcissist has created within you through their art of deception or manipulation. Their lies and illusions.
Everything you say or do from that point on is being recorded. They are taking note of how you react to their illusions. Is it a positive or negative reaction? They want to know what you like, what interests you, what turns you on?
And it's not because they are interested in getting to know you or they are interested in giving it to you, or sharing something with
you. They are studying you so that they can use whatever it is that you like, whatever interests you or turns you on, against you.
They will turn it into a weapon and use it to control or manipulate you. From this point on they will play with it and see what works, what doesn't. If a certain tactic doesn't work, they will try something else until something hooks and they get a reaction out of you.
They will then keep poking you with this and just get as much fuel out of it as they can to keep them going. They want to know everything you like, everything that interests you or turns you on and they will openly communicate this with you.
You might think that it's getting intimate and this person wants to share something with you. But they are actually studying these things so that they can then use them to control or manipulate you.
At some point in their lives they really wanted something and they never got it, or they didn't get it in the way they would have
liked.
Narcissists have a sense of arrogance and entitlement, so naturally this would have caused a narcissistic injury. It would have created some level of trauma or emotional pain.
They don't self reflect to resolve their issues or deal with their emotions, so this is a puzzle which they never completed.
And that's why you will see that they have developed this event which caused them trauma or emotional pain, into a tactic where they
will now attack your likes or interests, use certain things against you or withhold them from you.
This is their way of regulating the emotions they still feel and especially feel when they have to witness your potential satisfaction
from some like or interest which they once missed out on.
They are pathologically envious and jealous, so when they have to witness you engaging in a certain like or interest, it will bring
up past events where they did not get what they want, or they didn't get it the way that they would have liked.
They adapted their traumatic experiences to become tactics they can use to control or manipulate other people, to regulate the painful
emotions that they are experiencing from these unresolved traumas.
The experiments they do on you, to find out what will work to control or manipulate you, is most often based off of their own
unresolved traumas or emotional pain.
But if a certain experiment does not work, usually they will not repeat it again.
Of course there are lower spectrum narcissists who will repeat the same thing again and again with no end, expecting a different
result.
But this is usually because that's the only thing they know how to do, or that's the only thing they can do.
Or they may actually believe that it is causing you some kind of pain or emotional distress, so they will continue doing it.
If you want them to continue wasting their time repeating the same tactic which is having no effect on you, simply do not react.
Don't smile or laugh, as that will make it obvious that the tactic is having no effect on you. Simply carry on as normal and leave the narcissistic idiots to waste their time and energy.
They do not want a person that they have used as a narcissistic supply, to leave them and be good for anyone else. They are not going to let their happen.
What they are trying to achieve is to extract as much as they can out of you and then destroy you. They do not want you to be good enough for anyone else after they are gone.
Once they used up everything that you have to offer and they get tired of you. You no longer have the same energy or gifts which they initially liked.
They have depleted you of everything which was once good about you. From this point on their goal will be to deconstruct your natural way of thinking and feeling, your natural way of being.
Reducing the constituent parts of your character and personality, so that they can rewire it in a way which is more beneficial or
adaptable to them.
Everything good about you. Your character and personality. Your self worth and self esteem. Your qualities, talents and positive traits. Once they have deconstructed your natural way of living, you are then able to adjust to new conditions.
You are able to be modified for this new use or purpose. Where they can use up whatevers left of you and then destroy you or turn you into something completely different.
They have to destroy everything that was once good about you first, through control and manipulation... So that you can then adapt to a new way of being, one which is more beneficial for them or makes them feel more comfortable.
When they are finally done with you, they want you to be useless to anyone else.
Because of their pathological envy and jealousy, their victim mentality of how they didn't get what they wanted at a certain point
in their lives. They have this obsessive mentality to control and manipulate you. Limit and restrict you.
For this reason, they cannot just let you move on and achieve or obtain somewhere where they didn't, experience something that they
didn't or be something that they wanted to be.
How you feel reflects on how they feel. If you are feeling good, they are miserable. They can only feel good if you're not happy. So they cannot just let you move on feeling happy or confident.
They are pathologically envious and jealous. They can't feel that way, they don't have the same level of confidence or self belief, so why should you? That's how they see it.
So now they want to be the cause of your destruction. You may be wondering how someone could be so evil? It's basically frustration, bitterness and resentment which has built up over a long period of time and never been attended to or
resolved.
They had to witness what they believed to be your superior way of being. Your qualities, talents and positive traits. Your self worth, self esteem, self assurance, self belief and self respect.
Your motivation to succeed or be something. Money, looks or material items. They wanted to be like you. Those qualities, talents or positive traits. The money, looks or material items.
But they didn't have it and that's where all of this frustration, bitterness and resentment has come from.
That's why they become so competitive in relationships and it's like whatever you do, they are always competing against you rather
than trying to work with you.
This all comes from a place of inferiority and insecurity. They also feel deeply ashamed of this and their way of dodging the shame or trying to not reflect on it, is to project it on to you
or make you feel the very emotions that they feel.
As well as your qualities, talents or positive traits. They are also pathologically envious and jealous of your capabilities and what you could potentially accomplish once you have moved on
from them.
They know that you are capable of building the life that you want and it makes them so mad. When they think about how you are capable of achieving or obtaining where they couldn't, it makes them just want to kill you.
It all comes from their pathological envy and jealousy, which then led to their frustration, bitterness and resentment towards you. So because of these emotions which they feel, they can't just let you move on.
Not until they have put you in an extreme state of disturbance, confusion, uncertainty or lack of order. They want to torture you to a point where you can no longer assess what is going on, or you are close to death.
They want you to be in a state of continuous confusion and self doubt. Where you cannot think of anyone or anything else, other than them and all of the sick, twisted things they did to you.
They want you to constantly think about them, so that it creates an obstacle when you do try to move on and meet someone else. It was a planned process, they knew exactly what they were doing.
They targeted your self worth and self esteem so that you would doubt your own intuition. This process can your sense of judgement and your ability to understand what was going on.
They wanted to distort and reorder your perception of the conscious reality. So that you could never move on, never trust anyone, never be good enough for anyone.
They basically just wanted to leave you completely destroyed and isolated for the rest of your life. That's what they are trying to achieve.
They are trying to create a person that can no longer properly assess what is going on, in a world where everything is rewritten,
everything is reinterpreted or redefined.
To the point where you don't even realise what an amazing person you are. You just believe that you are the worthless, insignificant person that they want you to think you are.
So you never believe in yourself, you never try to accomplish anything. Check out my playlist of videos on The Narcissist's Alternate Realities & Fake Worlds. That's what these worlds are designed to do.
They are designed to control and manipulate you, limit and restrict you. Prevent you from achieving or obtaining somewhere where the narcissist couldn't. It makes them feel more comfortable and prevents any potential narcissistic injuries.
So what are narcissists trying to achieve by abusing and manipulating you everyday, distorting your reality. They are trying to completely destroy you.
Destroy your natural way of thinking, feeling and being. Your natural way of living. And they want to leave you completely broken down and isolated.
That is the purpose of all of their hard work. Sick I know, but that's what happens when you have a person who has years of built up frustration, bitterness and resentment.
Without ever attending to resolve those emotions. It gets to a point where they see someone doing what they couldn't do and then they basically just want to kill them.
Thank you for watching.
I hope this video resonated with you. Please like, comment, share and subscribe.
And I will talk to you soon.