top of page

This REALLY Gets Under The Narcissist's Skin

This really winds them up. It irritates and frustrates them. It's a relatively new concept. It's not something I've seen anyone talk about before. But it is something that I have noticed in my observations. In my studies of narcissistic groups and individuals. There is something that really gets to the narcissist. There is something that is causing them to experience feelings of suffering or disgust. And that is your sense of pride. Your feelings of deep pleasure and satisfaction derived from your own achievements. The things that you have done successfully with effort, skill or courage. The consciousness of your own dignity. Your self-worth and self-esteem. Your quality of having a high opinion of yourself and your importance. Your feelings of satisfaction and enjoyment. Which may come from some relationship, association, achievement or possession. That is seen as a source of honour and respect. That feeling of happiness you get when you've achieved something difficult or good.


That feeling that you like and respect yourself and that you deserve to be respected by other people. Yes, this is a trigger for narcissists. It causes them to feel upset and frightened. Because they are made to remember something bad that has happened to them in the past. So it may even set off an emotional flashback in them, which transports them back to the traumatic event. But for a normal, healthy person. Pride is a beautiful and attractive thing. It draws us in. It makes us want to belong and be a part of something. Because it feels safe and comfortable. It feels like an environment in which there could be growth and development. But for narcissists, it will cause a narcissistic injury. It will make them very angry. And the reason why is because they know that they will never have something like that. Or that they can't be a part of that. And the reason why it irritates them so much, is because they secretly desire to have it.





They secretly desire to be a part of it. But instead of consciously recognising that lack, that deficiency with them and that desire. They will instead try to pull you down to their level. By trying to get you to feel exactly how they feel. Which is why whenever you've achieved something or you've done something well. Or you just feel good about yourself, because you know you're progressing and you're on the right path. They will try to trigger you. They will try to make you feel like you're missing something. To try to get you feel the same way as they do. To try to get you to feel that desire. By making you want or need something from them. And they will often do that by showcasing things in front of you. They will dangle a carrot on a stick. And make you chase after it. So that they can see you going through it. Because it feeds them. It makes them feel alive. It makes them forget about their desires for a moment. Because now they can watch you going through it.


They want you to go through the exact emotions that they're forced to experience. But these are also the emotions that they deny and refuse to process. So they're left unresolved. But they use it as a form of self-medication in the moment, by watching you going through it. By making you desire something. And experiencing that spark of interest and excitement vicariously through you. They will give you something and then they will take it away. Or they will make you believe that you could have something, but then they will never actually give it to you. And then they will stand back and observe you. And wait for your emotional response. They will wait for your feelings of anger, grief and despair. Which are feelings that they're very familiar with. Because in their past, they wanted certain things. They had a burning desire. But they never actually got what they wanted. And because they don't self-reflect, they never processed emotions that resulted from these traumas. So all they can do now is try to self-medicate, by orchestrating these situations. So that they can watch you going through it.


The irony is that these things they manipulate you into wanting or needing... Were never what you initially desired anyway. They just brainwashed you into wanting those things. They just used them as tools or weapons, so that they could get the reaction that they wanted. So that they could feel better about themselves. But you have to remember that narcissists are not grounded in reality. They created a fake world inside their heads a long time ago. Because they realised that reality wasn't serving them. But this world needs the attention and validation of other people and things for it to function and exist. So they need to pull people into it. And they do that by manipulating them. By giving them the illusion of what they think they want. Or what they think they could want, if they are susceptible to the indoctrination. And it's just a world which they use to harness other people's energy. So that they can feel better about themselves. That's the sole purpose of it. Because they can't generate it from within. They have no inner sense of value.





So they have to get it from you. By destroying your sense of pride. And taking you down a notch. By deflating, humbling and humilating you. By making you feel small. By reducing or damaging your ego and pride. By calming down your high spirits and decreasing your effort in something. Because then it regulates their own emotions. It makes them feel like now they're not the only ones who can't get what they want. Which is why when they target you... The first thing they have to do is study you and find out what it is that you want. What it is that you don't already have. Just so they can deny you of that. Or keep it away from you. Because then they can sit back and watch you going through it. They can experience it vicariously through you. And they can get off your pain, suffering and misfortune. Even though the irony is that most often, that wasn't what you really wanted or needed anyway. But even if it was, they most likely didn't even have it. If they did, they would have given it to you to get you addicted to them. And then they would have taken it away from you.


So that they could watch you experience those feelings of anger, grief, despair and loss. Because that's typically what they like to do. They like to put their victims on a pedestal initially. They lovebomb them. Just so they're further away from the ground, when the narcissist is ready to knock them off. Because when they're ready to devalue you... They want to cause as much pain as possible to you. Because they've got so many unresolved traumas from their past. And they need you to experience that. So that they can regulate their emotions. But their trauma never goes away. Because they're weak and lazy. They lack the power to perform. So they don't want to do the work. They'd rather have it easy. They'd rather just abuse you and keep you down instead. But it never gets them the result they're looking for. They will remain dissatisfied. And they will continue to abuse people. It's an endless cycle, until the day they die. And they will never know what true happiness is like. Because they can't generate it from within. They have to get it from other people. But once you've identified this problem in the narcissist...


You should use it to motivate yourself to become a better person. To recognise that you do have the power to regenerate yourself. And to recover the energy that you have lost. Which is why, in most situations, they will keep coming back. Because they can't generate it from within. So they're always hungry for more. They constantly feel like they're starved of supply. So they're always in survival mode. And you'll always feel like you're deficient in something. Because they're always feeding from you. Which will put you in a state of desire. Because now you need something to replenish yourself. And that will give them more power to manipulate you. Unless you put a stop to it... By recognising that you can get your power and energy from within. And when you do that, you will have more to give to other people. People that you love and care about. People who are more deserving of it. Because narcissists are selfish and greedy.





Even though they know all too well, that other people would be far more deserving of your love and energy. They will still go out of their way to take it from you. Because they don't care about anyone or anything but themselves. A lot of them act self-righteous. As though they're totally correct and morally superior. But it's all fake. It's an illusion. They lack the mental and emotional capacity to care about anyone but themselves. Because they can't generate their power or energy from within. Which is why they have no moral compass. They will cheat, lie and steal. And they won't even feel guilty about it. Because even if you catch them or confront them on it... They will project and deflect. They will deny it or shift the blame on to you. They will gaslight you. But the truth is that they are very desperate, needy people. And desperate people do desperate things. They feel like their situation is so bad that it's impossible for them to deal with. They feel like life is unfair to them. And they have a great need and desire for something. They're urgently requiring something from you.


Which is why they will go out of their way to get it. And it will impair their ability to judge what is right and wrong and act accordingly. Because they lack discipline and self-control. And they're very arrogant and entitled. So they feel like they're inherently deserving of privileges and special treatment. Things that they haven't even worked for or earned. But because of their disorder, they don't see it that way. They look at it like you're the one who is undeserving. Because all they see is the finished product. They don't see all of the work that you put in to get there. They're not thinking about all of the pain, suffering and misfortune that you had to endure. That doesn't even cross their minds, when they're cheating, lying or stealing from you. They're just looking at it like, this individual is full of pride. That means their cup is full. Because they're quite clearly satisfied with what they have and what they've achieved. Their conscious of their own dignity. And that is what triggers them to take you down a notch. Because you look happy and healthy. It makes them want to destroy you. Because they feel inferior to you in comparison.

196 views0 comments

Recent Posts

See All

コメント


bottom of page