This Is ALL YOU ARE To A Narcissist

If you're not already aware, this is all you're going to be to them. And this is something that's never going to change. They will always see you in this way and will always use you for this purpose. You will only ever be an emotional trash can or dumpster to a narcissist—a person they come to with their problems, dumping their unwelcome or harmful matters onto you, and then walking away feeling better about themselves.

Many of you are empaths. You have the remarkable ability to perceive the mental and emotional states of others. You're highly attuned to their feelings and emotions, and you feel more empathy than the average person. These are amazing gifts. The problem is that you are sharing them with the wrong person—someone who cannot fully recognize or appreciate them, someone who will only seek to exploit them for their own benefit without reciprocating anything back to you.

To a narcissist, you are not seen as valuable or special. To recognize and appreciate something of value in another person, one must have something of value within themselves. Initially, they may have led you to believe that they were capable of this, but time reveals the truth. It shows you who they actually are when they start taking you for granted and treating you like an object, a means to an end. They lack empathy, so they cannot appreciate your empathic abilities. All they can do is use you as their emotional trash can and walk away.

Narcissists have an inability to connect and share your feelings. They can't experience love or intimacy. When you're dealing with them, all you'll get is a fantasy or simulation. If you're validating the illusion, you're daydreaming, imagining some magnificent, heroic character in their place. That's the only thing that keeps you there. If you saw them as they actually are, you would run far away because you would see that all they have to give is garbage—worthless and meaningless ideas.

It's not because they have a wonderful side of their personality that they withhold from you, although that is what they might want you to believe. It's because they genuinely lack character and personality. They're genuinely just dull and uninteresting people who have nothing to give to you, which is why they resort to manipulation. They skillfully manage and influence you to their advantage because that's all they can do. It doesn't go any deeper or further than that.

You will know this by dealing with them. If you press them for something more meaningful or for further commitment, they just can't do it. They haven't got it to give. Instead, they push back and devalue you, trying to make you think that something is wrong with you. They humiliate you in public and shame you for wanting those things. The reality is that they lack these faculties and components. They lack empathy and are unable to share and understand your feelings.

This can be difficult for us to understand because we feel things on a very deep level. We can read a book or watch a movie, and it will touch our soul, making us feel connected to the artist or author on an emotional and spiritual level. But narcissists don't get to experience that. They disowned that side of themselves a long time ago, often due to a lack of nurturing from their parent or caregiver. They became like robots or machines, resembling human beings but not really feeling on a deep level or experiencing the pleasurable sensations that are meant to come along with it. They're not in tune and can't experience what they strongly desire.

Their narcissism becomes a hindrance or impediment, an emotional handicap that prevents them from functioning socially. It's like the chained elephant syndrome. At one point, they may have wanted to experience those sensations and emotions, but they shut off that side of themselves because it wasn't nurtured. They assumed it wasn't necessary or relevant.

Then you come along, wondering why they can't connect to you or feel anything, why they just treat you like garbage when they could connect to you and feel so much more. The reason is that they can't. They can't let go of the pain and shame. They can't let go of the resistance because they greatly fear rejection and abandonment. They'd rather be the one who shames you for your desires, making you think something is wrong with you. They'd rather be the one who rejects you because they're too afraid to be on the receiving end of it. They can't be vulnerable, and you can't guide them through it. You can't open them up to it. They're always going to be that way—unaffectionate and robotic. Whenever you're intimate with them, it will feel like you're with a machine rather than an actual person. They can't connect to you on a deep emotional level. Everything they do is self-serving, just a means to an end. As long as they get what they want, they're happy. As long as they get admiration and praise, as long as they feel like they've accomplished something, they're content. But you will always be left feeling like garbage, like you don't mean anything to them because you really don't. As crazy as it sounds, they just see you as an object, something they can use and then throw away, something they can consume.

It may seem like they got one over on you, but they are never actually satisfied. They have sensational desires that can never be fulfilled. They desire something more; they want a connection. If you look back, you will see that all they ever did was try to connect again, but it was always with superficial things because that's as deep as it goes for them. When they realize they can't receive what they really want from you, they get mad. It makes them really angry because, yes, they do want it, which is why they end up hating you. There's a very fine line between love and hate. The opposite of love is not hate; it's indifference. If you look back, you will see that they were constantly trying to connect again, but they can't because they lack empathy. So they just end up hating you instead because they can't participate. They can't get the same fulfillment as you do, which makes them hateful and envious. It's why they end up becoming really jealous if they eventually see you move on with someone else.

They already know that the very thing they want, the very thing they will never get to experience, is what you're finding fulfillment in with someone else. Someone else gets to experience that with you, and this is why they're so jealous. This is why they triangulate you with other people, making you feel like it's you. It's why they isolate you. It's why they start smear campaigns, trying to turn everyone against you. They already know that if you do move on and experience that with someone else, their false reality is going to crumble down on top of them like a house of cards. They will be forced to accept that it is them—they're the ones who lack empathy, they're the ones who can't experience love or intimacy, so they're bad and they're wrong.

Some of these narcissists may seem prideful and arrogant. They may seem like they've got a lot going on. They may seem more successful than you will ever be. But then a lot of them turn to alcohol and drugs. A lot of them become very reckless. The reason why is because deep down, even they recognize that love and connection are more important, even though at times it may not seem like it. This is why they're always so miserable. Even though it may look like they have everything, it may look like they have the picture-perfect home, husband, wife, and children, that still isn't enough for them. It will never be enough because they lack empathy and self-love. They're connected to their ego rather than their soul. They're too terrified to let go of the resistance because if they did, they might find that it's actually something they want. They may see it as though they're lowering themselves, getting off their high horse, which is the false self. That's all they have. They never worked on anything else. All they can do is hold on to the sense of their own superiority, which ultimately blocks and denies the very things they want and need. Because they don't love themselves, they can't love you. If they loved themselves, by default, they would have empathy, but they don't.

This is why you can't be yourself around them. You can't let your hair down because they can't be themselves. It's always about their ego and their need to feel superior to you. It's always a game, always a competition, rather than two people just being real and authentic. This really only affects them in the end. If you manage to break free from the isolation and the chains of the smear campaign, you can move on and have that for real, while they will remain stuck. They can't be vulnerable. They can't be satisfied. Yet they have this arrogance and entitlement, which never results in them feeling fulfilled. They're very insecure and have a desperate need to control you because they don't want you to experience the very thing they wanted to experience with you. They don't want to see someone else having that with you because they know it's something they're never going to get to experience. You know they'll never get to experience that because they're always trying to control you. This is why they devalue you. This is why they have to bring you down. This is why they don't want you to be good for anyone else after they're gone. This is why they have to confuse and distract you. It's why they have to make you look and feel bad, especially in front of other people. They already know what you're going to do. They know you're going to move on and have something real, and it's just going to shatter their entire existence. It's going to reveal to them that their entire life is a lie.

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