The Narcissist's Simulation Of Love

Narcissists are not worth your time or effort. They cannot give you real love or any emotional depth. They cannot give you a deep conversation, empathy or any real understanding. They do not have the ability to understand or share your feelings. They are not worth your time or effort and they know this. Which is why they will try to simulate love or simulate value. They will imitate the appearence or character of what they believe you are looking for.

They will pretend to have or feel an emotion. But their true appearence or character is something completely different. Their true emotions are different. Narcissists do not experience real love, happiness or joy. They experience pride, anger, fear, guilt and shame. But they know that you don't want to see those emotions. They know that's not going to attract you. So they observe celebrities or your previous relationship partners to see what it is that will attract you. They then try to mould themselves into this character or personality.

They might change their appearence or adopt the same qualities, talents and traits as them. This is all designed to attract you and to secure you as a source of supply. And while it may attract you in the beginning, none of it is real. It's a fake character, a copy, an imitation. And it is designed to appeal to you. It is designed to spark your interest, so that they can extract whatever they need from you. As well as a simulation of love, it is also a simulation of value. They give the illusion that they have something to give to you, when in reality they have nothing for you. They can future fake and give you false promises, but when it actually comes down to it, they never deliver. They might act as though they have something and some of them do, like some of them have limited empathy rather than no empathy. But they won't even give you that, because they already know that it's not going to meet your expectations and it's just going to make them look like a fool. Because what they do have to give to you is nothing you would expect from a grown man or woman.

They believe that it's better to give you the illusion than to give you what little they do have to offer. At least with the illusion it keeps you believing that maybe they do have something more to give. The truth is they didn't have any more to give. Nothing of real value or significance. Everything you saw from them, that was what they had to offer. You may be thinking that there must be more to it, they must have something more to show you. There must be more to their personality or there must be something you haven't seen yet. But that really was it. That was all they had to show you and that was all they had to offer. They created all of these illusions and made false promises that they could never live up to just to keep you as a source of supply. They never intended to deliver on any of that. And they already knew from the beginning that they were not capable of giving you anything of real value or significance. Everything they gave you was fake, a copy, an imitation.

Since they know they never gave you anything of real value or significance, why would they care about you or the relationship? They never invested anything of real value or significance into it. They never had any of that to give to you. And they know that you don't really want them. You want the fantasy, the illusion. The fake character that they displayed to you in the beginning. The fake personality. That was all something that they could never sustain or live up to. It was never real. It was designed to secure you as a source of supply so that they could extract what they needed from you. But as you began to wake up and start questioning or confronting them, they realised that it was going to be very difficult to sustain this fake character and personality. So they had to start pointing the finger at you and start acting like something's wrong with you or you're not right. People just pretend that they are everything you desire, want and need... until you discover that they are everything you do not desire, want or need and then they want nothing to do with you. Then they will completely devalue and discredit you. There is no real love or value in these types of relationships. Narcissists are self-absorbed and will only use people for their own benefit or gain. They don't care about giving anything to you, they never had anything to give you.

They were just simulating love and simulating value. There was no real conversation or understanding and your emotional needs were not being met. This is just how most relationships are these days. People don't get into relationships to give or share anything. They just use the relationship to sustain them. For their own needs. To regulate their emotions or boost their self esteem. To make themselves feel less lonely. It has nothing to do with the other person. That person is just used as an object or tool to serve them. They don't really care about them, they don't care about making them happy or giving something to them. Relationships have become self serving. The other person is just an object. Not a separate person with their own desires, wants or needs. And even when these narcissists do attempt to fulfill your desires, wants or needs, it has nothing to do with you, it's not about giving anything to you. It's about regulating their emotions and boosting their self esteem. It's validating them and making them feel as though they are something of value or significance to you. They do not have the capabilities to give you that deep conversation, meet your emotional needs or have a mutual understanding with you. For a person to give you what you want, they must already have what they want. They must be whole and complete. They must be independent. They must not need anyone to regulate their emotions or make them feel good. They must not need anyone to make feel as though they are worth something. These qualities should come from within. A person who can generate all of this from within, will have a lot to give to you. They won't need to simulate or fake it. Because it's real. But before you can get to this point where you are able to have a relationship with a person who is whole or complete, you must first work on yourself. You must become whole and complete. You must feel as though you do not need anyone to complete you. You will then attract someone who feels the same way and you will compliment each other. They will not drain you of your energy. They will not have all of these toxic behaviours where they are abusing or manipulating you. These behaviours come from a place of lack, where the person is not whole or complete and needs something externally to support them. They are reliant, dependent on another person to sustain them mentally and emotionally. In these types of relationships you are basically dealing with a child. You are like their parent or caretaker. You feel drained because you are constantly looking after them. They tricked you in the beginning, by making you believing that they had something of value or significance to give to you. But really what they were looking for is for someone to take care of them. Narcissists are basically like people that cannot take care of themselves. They need you to regulate their emotions, they need you to make them feel like they're powerful or in control. None of that comes from within. This is why they cannot be alone for long periods of time. They are heavily dependent on other people. Narcissists are not worth your time or effort. They cannot give you real love or any emotional depth. They have nothing of real value or significance to give to you. It's all fake, it's a simulation of what you really want.

It's an imitation of what they have observed externally, rather than anything that comes from within. Once you discover their true character and personality, they want nothing to do with you. Because they know that's not attractive, they know it's not what you want to see. And they know that once you realise what they're really like or what they're really about, you're not going to want anything to do with them. You're going to feel like you're superior to them. And they don't want that to happen. So they will hide behind their illusions and their imitations of real value. Keeping you at a distance so that they are able to keep the illusion going and then you are less likely to figure out that they were never capable of meeting your expectations anyway. It was never real. Most of what they displayed to you was just them reflecting back what you're about, or your own likes and interests. Yet they tried to make you believe that you're no good, or you're not about anything. When their fake character and personality could never have existed without you. Something to think about.