The Narcissist CANNOT See You

Narcissists cannot see people as individuals. They cannot view you as a separate entity or as a living soul. They objectify you, degrading you to the status of a mere object, a tool, or a toy, as if you had no feelings, opinions, or rights of your own. They dehumanize you, depriving you of human qualities and therefore your dignity. This is why they will strip you of your independence and try to control you. In their minds, you are their possession, just a thing that belongs to them. They don't view you as an actual person. This is something that everyone dealing with a narcissist will experience.

Narcissists view all people as objects that they can control, use, or own. They even view themselves as objects. They have an inability to see any human beings as having their own power, feelings, preferences, or beliefs. It may seem as though they're ignorant or just lack knowledge, but even if they tried, they couldn't see it because they lack consciousness and awareness. They're barely even awake or aware of their surroundings. They lack sensations and emotions, and they even lack the ability to see, hear, or become aware of certain things through their senses. This is why it often seems as though they're not even listening to what you're saying.

At times, it may appear as though they're uninterested or unconcerned, but actually, they're not even aware that it exists. They're not receptive or well-attuned to it; they're on a totally different wavelength. They know you have feelings, but your feelings do not mean anything to them. They can't feel what you feel. They lack emotional intelligence and can't even recognize, understand, or manage their own emotions, which makes it impossible for them to recognize yours.

Because they're out of touch with their own feelings, wants, and needs, they just react to things without even knowing why. They don't care that they're on autopilot, repeating the same patterns and sequences, the same exaggerated and overemotional scenes, over and over again throughout their lives. As a result, they remain unaffected by your feelings and emotions. They have no idea why they do what they do and have no interest in finding out because it doesn't matter to them.

It may seem as though they are highly attuned to your feelings, wants, needs, and beliefs because they use them to manipulate you. They use them to upset you and sometimes to create positive feelings within you. But the reality is that even a child could tell you what to do to make people like you or not like you, how to hurt someone's feelings, or how to get them to do what you want. Narcissists do not possess some magical power, intelligence, or skill. They've just learned what buttons they need to push to get what they want. They don't understand how it works on a deeper level; the only skill they have is the willingness and desire to do it.

When they manipulate you, as an empath, you end up fighting yourself, your own feelings of guilt and shame, or holding on to your own fantasy, something that you've just imagined in your head. It's cognitive dissonance because they're just repeating or displaying what you've said to them. If it's effective for them and gives them the result they want, they will keep repeating it. If you stop reacting to whatever they typically do to upset you, they will stop doing it and try something else in the hope that it will work. They live vicariously through you, viewing you as an extension of themselves. They use your reactions to see themselves.

If their weapon of choice has no power over you, they will abandon it and try something else. This is why the abuse tends to escalate over time as it becomes normalized and they become desensitized. They're desperate to see themselves as powerful, important, and in control. They're not really interested in people; they're looking for a mirror, someone who reflects back to them how they want to see themselves, or an accessory, someone who makes them more attractive. Whatever creates an acceptable image for themselves, they will pursue.

If they believe there's power in being intimidating, they will try to scare you. If they believe there's power in being intelligent, they will try to outsmart you or make you look foolish. It's not about what you or anyone else believes; it's only about them, and it will only ever be about them. This is why they persist in using other people as mirrors, even though it's very frustrating and disappointing for them. They don't care about what other people think of them. If they did, they might have a better experience, but they only care about how people can make them feel about themselves.

Their relationships and even their children are just props to make the performance more believable, more convincing, and realistic. Their merit is to reflect this performance to an audience, and their audience is themselves. Their entire life is a performance of one person for one person and by one person. This is the central part of your relationship with any narcissistic person, and it's why these relationships don't work. They don't understand that people are people; they just use people as mirrors to reflect back to them how they want to feel about themselves. People do not exist or matter to them, and that includes themselves. They even view themselves as an object rather than an actual person.

They objectify themselves, which explains why they are so paranoid about being controlled. They believe that they don't have any power, which is why everything is always your fault and your responsibility. A lot of people don't want to accept that narcissists see people as objects. They may think that people are important to narcissists, and while that may be true, they're only important because they're used as objects. It's not because they're people who matter.

It may seem as though they targeted you because you're special or because they can arrange or direct the elements of a situation to produce their desired effect. But the truth is that you do not matter at all. They don't even see you as a person; you're just a tool or an appliance. They may target you and enjoy your suffering, but you do not matter to them as a person. You could be anyone because it's all the same. They suffer from extreme selfishness and lack consideration for other people. They think only of themselves, and even then, they don't think of themselves as a person. They see themselves as an object that can be controlled, used, and owned.

People do not exist to narcissists. They don't see you, they never knew you, and they don't care. You were never really a target because their true target is themselves and making themselves feel better. They hurt you to help themselves, which doesn't mean that you matter. In fact, it proves that the opposite is true. It proves that you don't matter at all. It shows that you're just a tool, replaceable and expendable. The only thing they care about is a reaction, and they only care about that because of how it makes them feel. They don't care about how it feels for you or how it affects you. They don't even have the ability to see that or understand it. How anything affects you does not matter to the narcissist. The only meaning they can see is how it affects them, which is what makes them so dangerous.

It's very difficult for empaths to understand because it's instinctive for us to consider the feelings and experiences of other people. It's an intrinsic characteristic, something we do unconsciously without even thinking about it, and something that we can't stop or control. At times, you may assume that other people are like that, but just remember how many times you had to remind them to consider other people's feelings. They can't even understand that other people have feelings or needs, which is why you constantly have to explain consideration, respect, and decency. No one is that good of an actor or performer. They are genuinely shocked and confused when you remind them that other people exist. Even when you remind them, they will often roll their eyes because they don't care. It means nothing to them. They don't understand.

They don't see your essential and distinguishing attributes. They don't see your distinctiveness or peculiarities. They don't see what makes you special or different from what is usual because they don't even see you at all. They will take whatever they can from whatever is available because, to them, it's all the same. Everyone is an object for them to use. It's not because of a distinctive characteristic that only belongs to you. It's not concerning your private life, relationships, or emotions. You're just a tool for a job. You're a mirror that exists to reflect back to them how they want to feel about themselves.

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