Updated: Mar 18
They are very good liars. They know how to lie, they know how to deceive. They've had years of practice at doing this. They never took the time to work on themselves and establish any other qualities or abilities, so they depend on lies and deception. They deliberately cause people to believe something that is not true, for their own personal gain. This is where their false sense of power comes from. Their lies give them the capacity or ability to direct or influence the behaviour of others or the course of events. Without lying, they would never have the capacity or ability to do this, because they never took the time to develop any real qualities or abilities.
Lying is not a real quality or ability. It involves making someone believe something that is not true or not real. When the narcissist is lying, they are changing your behaviour or perception through indirect, deceptive or underhanded tactics. It's not something where they are utilising their qualities and abilities to achieve something they want or desire. Everything they do involves unlawfully taking from other people and using it to create a false sense of power. Even if they are just taking away your sense of what you believe to be true or real. That's gaslighting, where they manipulate you into doubting your memory and perception, making you question your sanity. Because they don't have any real power of their own.
Everything they do is designed to trick you into giving your power to them, which they then use against you.
That's why they have to make you believe things that are not true or not real. Because if they were to accept what is true and what is real about you and them, there would be no competition. This is why they have to lie to maintain a false sense of power. Take away their lies and it's game over, there would be no competition, they would never be able to compete with you. That's why they have to live in this world based on their emotions, where whatever they feel becomes the facts. They can't exist in a world based on logic or reasoning. That would automatically put them at a disadvantage, because they never took the time to establish any qualities or abilities. They have spent their entire lives focusing on how they can trick people into giving them what they want. They're not going to be honest or genuine with you and try to establish something in the right way, because they already know that they are not capable of doing that.
Since they already expect to lose, their only other option other than to accept defeat, is to trick you into giving them what they want. They have to manipulate you, they have to deceive you. They have to trick you into giving your power to them, which they then hold above you as though they are superior. When really that's just something that they took from you. That's why they have to live in this world based on their emotions, where what they feel becomes the facts, what they feel becomes the truth. It's more favourable for them, because they can orchestrate it in what ever way benefits them. It doesn't have to be based on logic or reasoning in their fantasy world. Whatever they believe to be true in their minds is the truth, because it favours them, it makes them look good.
Everything is about them, they are self absorbed. This world was created to serve them and to get them the things that they need to survive. Things that they would never be able to obtain in the real world. They have to create a fake world, where they can manipulate, lie, trick and steal, to extract the things that they need from their targets. In the real world this would never be possible, they would die out very quickly. That's why they have to bring you into their fantasy world, where they are able to lie to maintain a false sense of power. They have to lie to you to give you the illusion that they are worthy, credible and valuable people. They have to trick you into believing that they are worthy of being believed and that they are worthy of your time. It becomes a problem when you start holding them accountable for what they said or for what they displayed to you, which may have been an illusion of something to suggest that they are worthy, credible and valuable people. When you start holding them accountable and you require or expect them to deliver or provide on what they said or displayed to you, it becomes a real problem. It becomes a problem because everything that they suggested to you or tried to get you to believe, isn't what they really are. When you hold them accountable to everything they said they were, everything they said they were about, they can never deliver or provide this to you. While they remain unable to deliver on everything they said they were about, you begin to notice a lot of inconsistencies and things that don't make sense, things that might lead you to believe that you are not compatible with this person. It creates uncertainty and confusion in your mind about who this person is and what they are really about. You begin confronting them in an attempt to deal with this problem or difficulty. This is where they will begin to act out and create drama and chaos for no apparent reason. They will talk about things that are completely irrelevant from the current situation. This is designed to divert your attention from the real issue.
The narcissist already knows that once you begin questioning them on a fault or their failure to meet a certain standard, you are going to lose admiration and respect for them. You're no longer going to believe in anything that they are saying or displaying to you. This will lead to you discrediting and devaluing them. It will reduce their worth or importance to what it really is, rather than what they tried to make you believe. Once their worth or importance has been reduced and you no longer believe in them, that is when they begin to leave. The most important thing to them is your belief. Your belief in their false self and their fake world. Their power resides in their lies, so they depend on making you believe their lies. If you no longer believe in their lies, they have no power, not even a false sense of power, because you no longer believe in them. Their false sense of power is dependent on what you believe to be true, or what you believe to be real. Once you no longer believe in them, they can no longer lie to you. They can't manipulate or control you. They can't alter your perception or make you believe whatever they want you to believe. Once you take away their lies, it's game over. Because their false sense of power resides in their lies. Once you no longer believe in them, they have no power. They tricked you into giving your power to them, the power came from your beliefs about them. They tricked you into believing in them, into believing in their false self, into believing in their illusions. Once you no longer believe anything they say or display to you, you take your power back. They no longer have any power and they can no longer use your power against you. Once you have taken back your power by no longer believing in them, they will quickly remove themselves from your life. At this point you have won. Now they want nothing to do with you, because they know that you no longer believe in them. They know that you are no longer going to validate their false self and their illusions. They will not contact you again, if they know that they cannot manipulate or deceive you anymore. If they're not contacting you, it's because you've pointed out so many inconsistencies and things that weren't right about them, that they know you're not going to believe in their lies anymore. It would take a lot of work for them to manipulate you now and they're not going to do that because you've lost admiration and respect for them. You no longer value them. So why would they want to be around you? They don't want anything to do with you now, because there is nothing that they can do to manipulate or control you. They can't extract anything from you now. They can't trick you into believing in their false self or their illusions. Once you no longer believe in them, you no longer value them and you see them for what they are... You will soon realise that they are not even worthy or deserving of being around you. Once you have figured everything out about them, you will soon realise that while they did all of these things to portray an image of power... That was just to compensate for the fact that all along they saw you as being superior to them. They felt threatened by you and that's why they wanted to have power over you. Once you've figured this out and you realise everything they tried to do to keep you under their control... To compensate for the fact that they felt threatened by you and they felt that you are superior to them... Once you've figured this out and you realise that they are not worthy or deserving of even being around you... You don't have to do anything after that, they will leave on their own.