Narcissists Provoke You To React The narcissist will constantly push and provoke you to react to them. They have to create drama and chaos. They have to induce stress and anxiety within their victims. Narcissists cannot function properly without their needs being fulfilled. And one of their main needs is a dysfunctional environment. They cannot survive in healthy environments with people who do not put up with them. They cannot survive in environments where people have boundaries or set standards.
Narcissists target and gravitate towards people who have been abused in the past, so it leaves an opening for them to get in. The abuse left a wound, and these narcissists further attack that wound to provoke a reaction from you. Once they've learned you and studied your vulnerabilities, weaknesses or insecurities, they can also create new wounds. This is all to ensure that you remain susceptible to the abuse. You must be likely to be influenced or harmed by what they are doing to you. This is how you become a good source of supply to them.
When they know that they can push your buttons as and when they need another hit. Another little high to regulate their emotions or boost their self-esteem. Because that's all this is about. It's about using this victim, a naive or vulnerable person, to fulfil their own selfish needs and at the victim's expense. Narcissists are dependent on your emotional reactions to them. They are dependent on you doing something, feeling something or having a certain thought in response to something they have said or done.
But most often it has to be more than an action or thought. They have to be able to witness your emotions. When they first meet you, it will be all about provoking, stimulating positive emotions within you. But once they have secured you as a source of supply and positive engagement is no longer fulfilling enough for them, they will be trying to provoke negative emotions within you.
They go from provoking positive emotions to provoking negative emotions, because they can no longer get the same fulfillment from interacting or engaging with you positively. It no longer gives them the fuel that they need. It also makes them frustrated and resentful towards you, because they realize that you can be fulfilled from positive interactions or engagement. Furthermore, it reflects on them and makes them feel as though there's something wrong with them.
As though they are less than perfect. Naturally, this will cause a narcissistic injury and narcissistic rage. Especially if they witness you interacting or engaging positively with someone else outside them. Then it really drives it home to them, that other people can be fulfilled by interacting with you, but they can't. It really makes them feel as though something is wrong with them, it makes them envious and jealous.
From this point, they will see it as a competition and a point that they have to prove, that they can interact or engage positively. But of course it's not going to be with you, due to their frustration and resentment. They also have to find a way to project their feelings of envy and jealousy on to you. So they will interact or engage with someone else, and it will usually be someone of the opposite sex.
This is intended to provoke negative emotions within you. And at that moment, it may seem as though the narcissist has no problem interacting with this new person. You may start to believe that there is something wrong with you. But that's exactly what the narcissist wants you to think. When they witnessed you interacting with someone outside them, they realized that they could not get the same fulfillment from interacting with you positively. It made them feel frustrated and resentful.
So now the goal of them interacting with someone else is to project these emotions on to you. When they are provoking you and trying to get you to react to them, it lets them know where you are in the mind. It lets them know if you are still emotionally attached or emotionally connected to them. This is another reason why they do this. It's about establishing this connection or attachment to you, which is built on emotions.
So that they can develop a further level of control or dominance over you. It makes it easier for them to manipulate you and control your mind and your emotions. Sometimes you might think they are trying to be more intimately involved with you, or they are trying to tease you. But this is actually all about control. It's about controlling your thoughts and feelings and being able to induce whatever feeling they want you to feel, whenever they want you to feel it.
I've said in my previous videos how narcissists do not see you as a separate being. They see you as an extension of them. And everything they do when they are around you is literally to turn you into an extension of them. They want to be able to control your every thought and action. They literally want to use you as an extension of themselves, where if they don't want to express a certain emotion, they will project it on to you. It may seem like you are connected on such a deep level, but you are really just being used to regulate their emotions.
When they're doing this, you're like an extension of their brains. They are trying to turn you into an add-on or a component of what they are. So that they can interact with you in a way that whatever they think or feel, you can reflect it back to them. It's like they basically want another version of themselves in a separate body to play with and reflect back whatever they are thinking or feeling at that moment.
And when they're provoking you to react or projecting these emotions on to you, they will act as though something is wrong with you, or you're not right. When really you're not even there in their minds anyway, they don't see you as a separate being, they see you as an extension of them. When they act as though something is wrong with you, or you're not right, that's just the next step in their emotional regulation. And it's based off their experiences.
When people from their past provoked them or projected certain emotions on to them, they remember how they acted and made them feel. They made them feel shameful or embarrassed, as though they shouldn't be reacting in that way. All of this goes back to their childhood. If you go back far enough, you will see that everything they are doing to you now, is just them trying to recreate a certain situation or event that made them feel pain or discomfort.
It has nothing to do with you, they are just using you as an extension of them, to express these emotions or experience these reactions for them. Narcissists don't self reflect or look within, they don't want to do the work to heal their childhood traumas. Everything they do to you is their way of temporarily relieving the pain or suffering they are experiencing from these past situations or events. It's too painful for them to express those emotions or have those reactions.
So they use you as an extension of them. As an add-on or a component of what they are, to regulate their emotions and boost their self-esteem. Remember, they don't see you as a separate being. They see you as an extension of them. They don't care about you, they don't have an interest in what you think or feel, unless it relates to them. If you are an emotionally healthy person, most often your thoughts and feelings might not relate to them.
So they will push and provoke you until you do begin to adopt their way of thinking and feeling. Then they can apply their negative traits to you and create this bond. They are dependent on you and your reactions to regulate their emotions, so they don't want you to go anywhere. They want to ensure that this connection or attachment stays fixed in place. Where it is able to provide them with what they need, whenever they need it. As I said at the beginning of the video, one of their main needs is a dysfunctional environment.
These environments have the ability to provide them with the emotional reactions that they are looking for. These environments allow them to get away with certain things, push people around, cross boundaries. Just so they can feed off their emotional reactions and use them to regulate their emotions and boost their self-esteem. Making them feel powerful and in control.
They don't care that they are causing pain or discomfort, because people are just objects or extensions of them. They exist to serve them and provide them with what they need. Narcissists are self-absorbed and lack empathy, they only care about themselves. They will not feel shame for what they are doing, but they do feel shame as though they are bad people. And this is actually what drives them to do what they do. They spend their lives doing all of this to dodge the shame.
They are shame-based individuals, doing everything they can to avoid reflecting on their shame. This is why they are always trying to push and provoke you, trying to get you to react, so they can call you a bad person and project their shame on to you. They know that you will express this emotion and express it for them, which further helps to regulate their emotions and boost their self-esteem. But the shame continues to grow within them. And this is why the game never ends, this is why they are never happy or satisfied with anything in their lives.