Narcissists Are Possessive And Controlling


Narcissists Are Possessive And Controlling. They are depressed and miserable. Yet they realise that you do not deal with these difficult, negative emotions. Simply by being in your proximity or witnessing your happiness and fulfilment only becomes a reminder to them of how worthless and depressed they really feel. In their minds you are their possession, like an object or an extension of them. They own your body, mind and soul. They have the right to dictate your thoughts, emotions, behaviours and interests. Any time where that you display your control over your own thoughts, emotions, behaviours or interests will cause a narcissistic injury within them.


They are depressed and miserable people. You are not and that's why they become envious and resentful towards you. They see you as an object and expect you to comply with the program they have created for you. Where they may dictate your thoughts and control your emotions as they please. Anything that conflicts with their programming of you will cause a narcissistic injury within them. You are showing them everything they are not, everything they wish they could be. And to them, that is an insult. It's like you are putting your hands around their necks and strangling them. So they will lash out with their abusive and manipulative tactics.





They cannot discard their programming and simply try to operate on your frequency. They cannot partake in your happiness and fulfilment. They cannot live up to your expectations of them. So they will not even bother trying. They will observe you from a distance and do everything they can to emotionally disregulate you. Because their happiness isn't like that. They want to feel good, but they don't. So now they become envious and resentful of you. It becomes an endless competition to tear you down. You are like a bird flying high in the sky. The narcissist has no wings, so instead of appreciating your ability of being able to fly, they will tear off your wings. Because your ability to fly causes them to reflect and experience a sense of loss.


They literally see you as being above them, so they will develop these abusive and manipulative tactics in an attempt to regulate your thoughts and emotions. They don't want to watch you flying high in the sky, experiencing happiness and fulfilment, while they are on the ground feeling miserable and depressed. To them it feels like an insult, like you are attacking them. So in their minds they are simply getting you back by emotionally or even physically abusing you.


They will even try to engage in activities that give the illusion that they are happy and fulfilled. But the narcissist can never experience genuine happiness or fulfilment, they do not have the emotional capabilities to experience that. It is simply a never-ending game where they are trying to prove their self worth to you. They are trying to prove their self worth because they see your value as being greater than theirs. If this was not true, they would have no motive for constantly trying to prove their self worth.


They will devalue you, act as though you are worthless and they hate you. But deep down they are secretly admiring you and worshipping your every breath. They admire and adore you so greatly, that it soon becomes hate when they realise that they cannot possess the same qualities. They cannot partake in your greatness. They become hateful, angry and envious towards you. They cannot be like you, so now they want to destroy you. They will abuse, manipulate and devalue you out of the intense frustration they feel from being incapable of possessing your good qualities or partaking in your greatness.





All of these abusive and manipulative acts come from a deep-rooted feeling of insecurity and an inferiority complex. The narcissist never self-reflects, so they do not feel guilty for abusing and manipulating you. Although they do feel more and more shame every time they do it, which only causes them to feel more and more insecure. Their insecurities and inferiority complex cause them to abuse and manipulate you even more. And this becomes an endless social validation loop which they can never remove themselves from.


It develops an obsession and an addiction within the narcissist. They appear to revolve around you and no one else. They want to possess and take control of you. They want to control your thoughts, your emotions, the people you associate with and the places you go. In extreme cases, they will even attempt to control your environment outside of the home. In these situations, they will gather flying monkeys and create smear campaigns, where they can then get everyone to see you the same way. Please see my video on "The Flying Monkeys & The Smear Campaign" for more information on this topic.


So as the narcissist develops their obsession and addiction to you. It will appear as though you are the only significance in their lives. You are the center of their world. It has nothing to do with love. They have simply become extremely possessive and controlling over you because they are obsessed and addicted to you. They may become hypervigilant and paranoid of anyone you might be talking to, anything you might be doing that might fulfil you in any way. Any fulfilment or progression in your life which is caused by an external source, outside of their control, triggers them to become even more hateful, angry and envious of you.


They appear offended that you would even require or desire an external source outside of their control. And this doesn't have to be a physical person in your life. It could be a television character, a celebrity, singer or actor, or even an inanimate object. The narcissist wants to be your only source of happiness, fulfilment and progression. Because you are an object which they possess. You are their pet, their slave. It is your duty to provide them with the attention and validation they crave and desire, whenever it is needed. No amount of attention or validation can ever fulfil the narcissist.





Which is why they will become hyperviligant and paranoid that you might be investing your time and energy into something other than them. This then leads them to become more possessive and controlling over you. They will do whatever they can to prevent you from giving your attention and validation to any external source outside of their control. It makes them feel as though they are not a part of it. They feel unable to partake in your activities or interactions and this makes them feel insignificant, undesired and insufficient.


Narcissists are obsessed with power and control, without it they feel very uncomfortable. Imagine a basketball game where you are about the shoot the winning shot for the team. They would happily sabotage their own team's winning shot, if it meant that you would then steal the attention and validation from them. They hold on to their control and need for the limelight with a tight grip that can never be shared with anyone else. The thought of someone taking "their" attention and validation is very painful for them. The narcissist will make you believe that want you to help them. They will tell you or imply that they need your help, but they will never let you help them. They just want you to try, while they abuse and manipulate you.


It makes them feel powerful and in control. In their minds they're thinking "wow, I can get this victim to do whatever I want to help me. I am powerful. And I'm not even letting them help me, which puts me in control". If they do allow you to help them, they will then lose their grip on the control. Their personality disorder allows them to maintain their delusional sense of power and control in any situation. Everything the narcissist says or does has a purpose and is designed to abuse or manipulate you in some way. They are never in the moment, everything has an agenda with them.


Their agenda is to obtain narcissistic supply and this is often done by possessing you like a toy, pet or slave, controlling your every thought or emotion, abusing and manipulating you. This then gives them their narcissistic supply. It gives them attention, validation and a sense of power and control of you and the situation. Why do they have this obsessive need for control at all times? The reason is because they always feel powerless and out of control. They have no self-control. They cannot control their thoughts, emotions or actions, so they try to control you.





It gives them the illusion that they are powerful and in control, but really they a