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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

How Narcissists Slowly Destroy Your Self-Esteem

The narcissist will lead you on without any clear plans to pursue the relationship. And their non-committal behaviours will leave you confused about where your connection is heading. Because they will string you along with small nuggets of communication. But they will never fully commit to a relationship. They will send out flirtatious, but non-committal signals. They will give you just enough breadcrumbs of their attention and interest. To give you hope and to keep you on the hook. But not enough to make you feel comfortable or assured that the relationship is going well. Some people are more susceptible to this than others. It tends to be those who have high empathy who fall for these tactics. Because people who have high empathy will tend to exaggerate the worth of the breadcrumbs. And the reason why narcissists do this is because they're very insecure. They have low self-esteem. So when they leave a trail of breadcrumbs and they see you coming back for more. It makes them feel wanted and worthy.



It is typically people with narcissistic tendencies who engage in this type of behaviour. Because they want to feel powerful and special. And it gives them the attention that they crave. So they will just give the occassional message or phone call. You might go on a date with them once in a while. But it happens at irregular intervals. It's every now and then. It's not regularly or consistently. They don't follow up with anything. And people who don't follow up, should not hold a significant position in your life. People who express approval or support of you insincerely. Or without taking any significant action. While you are putting your heart and soul into things for them. But they cheat you. By giving you something insufficient in return. They treat you unfairly, by giving you less than you deserve. They don't use all of their strength and resources, the same way that you do. They don't put in the same amount of effort as you. They don't celebrate you the way you celebrate them. And you should not tolerate that. Because they are invalidating you. They're saying that you're not good enough for better treatment. As though they can give you breadcrumbs and you will put up with it. And this is one of the main tactics that narcissists use. Because then they can get a lot out of you. While giving you little or nothing in return. But the irony is that although they treat you as though you're not deserving of them.



They're actually the ones who are not deserving of you. Because they are harming you. They're a liability to you. They're not serving you. Because they're capable of doing more. They have the means to do more. But they choose to give you less. While still expecting the same priority from you. Without giving you anything in return. But if they want the best out of you, there should be an equal exchange. They should compensate for it. But instead, they don't even support you. They're never there for you. But they expect a lot from you. And they don't even have the decency, morality or respectability to see that they never put out anything for you. Yet they're expecting to be a priority to you. When you should not settle for that. You need to know that you are being breadcrumbed. You are being given less than you deserve. Because you deserve better. You deserve more. You're always treating them with respect and dignity. You're putting them before yourself. You're constantly giving. You're constantly putting out. But you're not getting anything back in return. You're not receiving anything in return to replenish yourself. So something must be wrong with it. Because people are meant to recognise what you do. And they're meant to give something back to you in return. There's meant to be a fair exchange. But you're always the one who is paying for everything. And while they may keep you around.



It's only because they're getting something out of it. Because they can benefit by keeping you. So they do understand your value. But you also need to understand it. And you need to align yourself with people who will be able to reciprocate your value. People who will be able to put out for you just as much as you put out for them. Because that is how we build and grow. But this is why narcissists don't get very far. Because if you confront them on it, they will ghost you. If you want them to disappear really fast, just loan them some money. You won't hear from them for months. And the more money you give them, the longer they will be gone. But we need to protect ourselves from these types of people. Because there are a lot of people out there like that. They will take as much as they can from you. Without you confronting them on it. Without you openly expressing your opinions. Without you putting a limit on what you will do or allow to happen. Because you sense that something is wrong. Which is why you need to be aware of it. Because they will try to lead you on. They will try to get as much as they can from you. Without having to put out much to get it.

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