How does the narcissist react to their lack of success? How do they feel when they do not meet their desirable or intended objective? When a normal healthy person experiences failure, they might be dissatisfied or discontented in the beginning. But when the narcissist experiences failure, they become very angry, hurt and resentful. They are very ungrateful, nothing is ever pleasant or acceptable for them. So they can never be at peace, they can never be free from any inner disturbance. When the narcissist experiences failure, it's more than just an annoyance for them. They will be resentful, they may even hold a grudge. They may act as though you were nothing special, as though you were worthless or insignificant. But the main reason why the narcissist targeted you is because something attracted them to you. You have to have something that interests them, something that makes them notice you. Something that makes you stand out amongst everyone else.
Whether it was your characteristic traits, qualities, abilities, talents. There was something that you possessed that the narcissist wanted to take from you. That's what made them want you. They recognised that you held something of value. When they then lose you, that's when you might see their reaction to failure. The narcissist has to control their environment. They need to have the power to influence or direct people's behaviour and the course of events. They need to be able to determine your next moves. This is all designed to manage the risk of failure. They have to control the environment because they don't know how to deal with the emotions that might arouse from them failing. When they do fail, they get angry at the people around them, they blame them. Because they cannot deal with their emotions, it's too painful for them to deal with. Even after the relationship is over, they are still holding on to bitterness, grudges and resentment. They are resentfully unwilling to allow you to move on, because they believe that you caused those emotions. They believe that you caused them to feel that way. They might find a new source and act as though everything is going good, but they will never be happy, they will never be satisfied. Because they're always ungrateful with whatever they have. And they're holding on to bitterness, grudges and resentment from their past failures, which are keeping them down and holding them back from ever experiencing real
They can never be happy, because they have all of their unresolved pain and traumas. Their bitterness and resentment fuels their dysfunctional behaviour. They get envious and jealous when you try to move on, because they're not happy, they're dissatisfied. They are never happy because they have a lack mindset. They always feel as though they are without something or as though they don't have enough. This is what causes them to feel discontented, dissatisfied. They look at what other people are doing or what they have, constantly comparing themselves to them. And this is what creates the pathological envy and jealousy. Where they are always trying to take something away from you, whether it's your happiness and contentment, energy or resources. They have to take that from you because they are deficient, they don't have enough.
Even if they find someone else, they are still not happy. They still feel as though they are without something or as though they don't have enough. They can never be satisfied. And as they go from source to source, it begins to build up more bitterness. More anger and hurt. More grudges and resentment. Because they never look at themselves, they never look at what they could have done differently or what they could have improved. They have these impossible expectations that they expect everyone else to fulfil and when they don't, it creates a sense of unjust treatment. They feel as though you have failed them. Because whatever painful emotions are going on within them, they don't want to deal with that. So they project those emotions on to the people around them, they shift the blame on to them. They take their anger, hurt and resentment out on other people, including new sources. They become so bitter and angry because they have lost something of value. This is why they become obsessed, this is why they begin to stalk you. This is why they might try to track your every move. When the relationship is over, they may act as though you weren't anything special. They may treat you with contempt as act as though you are worthless or beneath their consideration. But that's only because they don't want you to know your value. They don't want you to know how great you are.
When a narcissist gets around a person of high value, they always have to target their self-esteem. They have to make doubt themselves, they have to make them feel insecure. Because when they're around people of high value, it makes them look at themselves and then they feel inferior. They also realise that if you knew your true worth, you would never desire to be around them. You wouldn't be worried about losing them. You would realise that they were the only thing holding you back from being the person that you were always meant to be. They had to keep you in a state where you were always doubting your worth, doubting your abilities. Always feeling as though you're never good enough. That was so they didn't have to look at themselves and accept that they were the ones that weren't good enough. The narcissist greatly fears that you will realise your worth, realise your abilities. And then you would never want anything to do with them, because you would realise that they're not benefiting you in any way. They're just keeping you down, holding you back. They do everything to control the environment so that you will never see your true worth, you will never have the opportunity to demonstrate your true ability. Because they don't want to see that and they don't want you to know it. That you are something great, you always were. They just had to make you doubtful and make you lack confidence to keep you around them.
When you finally begin to realise your value and you try to move on, they get bitter and angry. They start stalking you, it develops an obsession. Because they always knew that you held something of value. And while they managed to trick you and keep you within their possession, they were fully aware of this. But they also knew that if you were ever to realise your value, you would then begin to wonder what you are doing with them. You would begin to realise that you don't need them, they're the ones who need you. But they had to trick you into believing that you needed them, to keep you around. To keep you trying to serve and satisfy them. To keep you trying to prove your worth and giving them whatever they desired from you. But they never had anything to give to you.
The only thing that they possessed which had any true value, the only thing that sustained them, was you. You gave them the power, energy, resources, stability and security that they needed to do the things that they needed to do. And when you realise this and try to move on, they starting stalking you, they start tracking your moves. If you were nothing special, they wouldn't be worried about you. They wouldn't have to be so involved in your life. If something has served its purpose and it has nothing more to offer, you throw it away. It's garbage, it has no value. But when it's something of value, you can't just let it go that easily. You might even chase after it, because you recognise it's value. You recognise that by consuming it, it has all of these nutritional benefits to offer you. It makes you feel good, it sustains you. And that's why the narcissist gets so bitter and angry when you try to leave. That's why they have to chase after you. That's why they begin to obsess, stalk and track your every move. Because while they may have tricked you into believing that you were worthless and insignificant. That was only because it reflected on how they felt about themselves. It made them feel inferior. It reminded them of their deficiencies. And they knew that if you were to realise your value, you would realise that they were keeping you down and holding you back and then you wouldn't want anything to do with them.
All of their past failures build up this frustration and resentment within them. Failures which they never took responsibility or accountability for. They always projected their feelings of failure on to the people around them. So when you try to leave, it brings up all of their past failures which they never took responsibility or accountability for. All of their unhealed pain and traumas. And you are then held accountable for every painful event that they had to experience. When they are attacking you, they are expressing their unfulfillment. They do the same thing again and again, expecting a different result. And each time they don't get the result that they want, it builds up more anger and bitterness, more frustration and resentment. These emotions are never resolved. They hold these beliefs and impressions that are contradicted by reality, but just because they think it in their minds, they believe it will happen in that way. They never look at themselves and correct their way of thinking or their behaviour, so they blame the people around them instead. They lie to themselves and if you ask them, they will tell you they're doing great. But the truth is they are never happy. Just look at their actions and behaviours, it reveals how they are really feeling inside. They are never at rest, they are never in a state of peace. There is always something triggering in their minds. Always something inflicting severe mental suffering within them. And this is why they behave and react in the way that they do.
When you're trying to move on and they're stalking and harassing you, it's because they need positive people. They need a positive person around them to unload all of their toxic energy on to. They have so much anger and bitterness within them, they need to express it to someone. But it has to be someone who is happy and contented, someone who is positive. It doesn't do anything if they express it to someone who is already miserable. That's why narcissists don't usually go to each other to express these emotions. They have to take it out on someone who is happy and contented, someone who is positive. So they can watch you going through it. They can watch you being brought down from a state of happiness to a state of unhappiness. That is what regulates their emotions. It's seeing a significant change in how you feel. If you're already miserable, they don't need to bring you down. All they have to do is look at you and it makes them feel good. But if you're in a state of happiness they have to affect you for them to feel better about themselves. When they're stalking and harassing you, that's what they're trying to do. They don't want to look at themselves and deal with their own emotions. They don't want to deal with their mess, they don't want to clean it up. They would rather lay in their filth. They would rather continue to engage in their corrupt behaviour. And when you realise what they're involved in and you try to remove yourself from the mess that they have created, they chase after you and try to bring you into it. Because they don't want to lay in that filth on their own. And then it causes you to be negative, it causes you to experience harm or unhappiness. When you are around these types of people who are always angry, bitter and resentful, it can cause you to become dissatisfied and unfulfilled. It can cause you to become depressed. It spreads and influences everyone who comes into contact with it.
They imprison themselves by blaming the people around them for their failures or misfortune. Which locks them into a state of unhappiness. And the only thing that can free them is accountability. Being accountable for their actions. Understanding that they neglected their responsibility to take action. Rather than holding these idiosyncratic beliefs and impressions that are contradicted by reality or rational argument, which is a typical symptom of any mental disorder. If they were to take responsibility and be held accountable for their actions, only then would they be able to change the situation. They would look at themselves and resolve what is going on within them, instead of projecting their feelings outwards and shifting the blame on to the other people. And it would then give them the ability to experience real happiness, satisfaction and fulfilment. But of course, narcissists don't want to look within, they don't want to self reflect. So they continue to remain in this state of unhappiness, bringing misery and pain to anyone who they come into contact with.