Narcissists have an obsessive need to portray an image through their false self at all times. This is actually a front to cover up the fact that they really feel the exact opposite about themselves. Narcissists who act grandiose, deep down feel worthless and insignificant. Narcissists who act as though they love themselves actually hate themselves and are deeply insecure. Narcissists act arrogant or full of themselves. The definition of arrogance is to have an exaggerated sense of one's own importance or abilities. They are the exact opposite of what they are portraying themselves to be on the outside. Deep down they feel worthless, insignificant, insecure, weak and fearful. These feelings are often what causes them to abuse and manipulate you. They want to feel valued and significant. They want to project their insecurities, weaknesses and fear on to you. But just know that all of this is a front and deep down they feel the exact opposite. A narcissistic injury is any threat to the narcissist's inflated ego or self-esteem.
They have a sense of arrogance and entitlement to whatever they want. They have a distorted sense of self-importance and consider themselves to be superior to others. Narcissists experience a narcissistic injury whenever there is a threat to their ego or self-esteem. This causes their need for narcissistic rage or revenge. So how do you know when you have caused a narcissistic injury? The narcissist's actions will be based on their intense negative emotions, rather than logic. Intense negative emotions such as hate, anger, envy and jealousy. Narcissists do not behave in a natural way. They prefer to respond rather than react, so many of the things they say or do will be scripted or orchestrated in a way where it is designed to affect you, or get a specific result or emotional reaction from you. They prefer to respond rather than react because it makes it difficult for you to detect the fact that they are not being themselves. If they were reacting to you like a normal person, you would quickly discover that this person is not the grandiose or confident person they portray themselves to be. If they were reacting to you, you would quickly discover that this person is actually the exact opposite of what they have been portraying themselves to be. But when you have caused a narcissistic injury, they will have difficulty responding. Instead, they will react off of their intense negative emotions, which will be very difficult for them to control at that moment. They will try to get revenge by projecting these emotions to you. They will devalue and degrade you. They might use manipulation tactics such as denial, projection, blame shifting, gaslighting and the double bind in an attempt to wind you up. They will publicly humiliate and exploit you. This is all designed to project the emotions that they are experiencing from their narcissistic injury, on to you. Without their narcissistic injury, they would feel no need or purpose to do any of this to you. When you are feeling happy and contented with yourself, you do not feel any need or purpose to abuse or manipulate anyone.
Narcissists do this because they feel miserable, dissatisfied and unfulfilled. If you have caused a narcissistic injury, the narcissist may randomly stop talking you. Maybe they will give you the silent treatment or they won't interact with you as much. They might exclude you from special occassions or events. They might arrange something with you and then disappear and never show up. They might lead you on and make you believe that they are interested in you, when really they have all of this hate and anger inside of them. This is designed to make you feel as though you have no value or significance to offer to them or that event. The opposite is true, but they are trying to project their feelings of worthlessness and insignificance on to you. They might triangulate you or treat someone else more favourably than you. They might find a new source of supply and post pictures of them on social media or tell you that they have been spending time with someone else. This is an attempt to make you feel envious or jealous. It's projection. They were feeling envious or jealous of you and it caused a narcissistic injury, which then developed this need for them to project those emotions to you. They will also withhold things from you such as their time, attention, validation, approval and admiration. Affection, sex, money and material items. This is all designed to project the way that they feel, on to you. The narcissistic injury has made them feel hateful, angry, envious and jealous. Worthless and insignificant. Insecure, weak and fearful. They don't like the way this feels. But narcissists do not self reflect or look within to acknowledge or resolve these emotions, it's too painful for them. So instead, they will do these types of things to project these emotions on to you. It relieves their pain for a short period of time. Causing someone else pain or suffering allows them to distract themselves or take the focus off their own pain and suffering. They might try to get revenge on you in some way. Enforce flying monkeys and create smear campaigns. Harass and stalk you. You might not even realise what you have done wrong.
Remember narcissists have an inner critic or an inner dialogue. You could be telling them you love them or you might be giving them a compliment, but in their minds, they have this inner critic or inner dialogue which is telling them they are worthless and insignificant. This programming in their minds will block or deny anything positive you say about them. So you could be really good to them and then suddenly they are trying to hurt you. And you may not have done anything wrong. In most cases where you have caused a narcissistic injury, you will not be able to confront them or ask them what you have done wrong. Narcissists have so much frustration and resentment towards you once you have caused a narcissistic injury They might pretend as though nothing is wrong, while contuining to be abusive or passive aggressive towards you. Once you have caused a narcissistic injury, it is going to be almost impossible to explain anything to them. Narcissists do not want a resolution, they want an opportunity to be abusive or passive aggressive with you. They have poor conflict resolution skills, so you will not get a mutual understanding or resolution from them. And if they start talking to you about what you have done wrong, this could give you an opportunity to tell them what they have done wrong. Which is probably what led to you saying or doing whatever it was that caused the narcissistic injury.
Narcissists are emotionally immature, they are not going to accept responsibility or accountability for anything that they have done. You can try having a conversation with them, but all you are going to get is manipulation tactics such as denial, projection, blame-shifting, gaslighting and the double bind. They have poor conflict resolution skills, nothing ever gets resolved with them. Once you are aware that you have caused a narcissistic injury, you need to be very cautious around them. Narcissists are dangerous people. Following a narcissistic injury, they will have reckless behaviour and poor impulse control. So when you do anything that might be against their best interest, you need to be very cautious. Once you have caused a narcissistic injury and they experience narcissistic rage, they go from having a lack of conscience to having no conscience at all. Once they think that you have got one-up on them, they will do whatever it takes to get revenge on you. It could be something as simple as a backhanded compliment, or they could kill you. Most often, it will be something extreme. Maybe not something as extreme as killing you, but most often it will be something extreme. Once you have caused a narcissistic injury and they experience narcissistic rage, they will enter this predatory survival mode where they have no conscience. No empathy or compassion. They will be filled with hate, anger, maybe envy and jealousy. And at that point, they will do whatever they think will hurt you the most. Without thinking of the consequences.
Only when those intense negative emotions have diminished, will they then realise what they have done. And then it's too late and they don't know how to go back to the way things were.
They don't know how to correct the situation. When they were in that state of narcissistic rage, they were not thinking about the consequences. They were just thinking about what would be the most impactful way to get back at you. What would hurt you the most. In most cases, they will not try to deal with the consequences or correct the situation. If they were to do that, they would have to accept that they messed up. They would have to accept responsibility and accountability for their actions. That's not something that narcissists like to do, they don't want to accept that they are capable of making faults or mistakes. So instead of trying to correct the situation, they will find a way to justify what they have done. They don't care about the further consequences that may come by not correcting the situation, or how that might affect other people in the future.
Narcissists are self absorbed and lack empathy. All they care about is what they want or don't want at that moment. And at that moment they don't want to have to deal with any faults or mistakes, or even accept that they caused them. When you have caused a narcissistic injury and they are experiencing narcissistic rage, they become very unpredictable and there really is no telling what they will do. You may think you know them, you may think that you know how they are going to react. And this may work with normal people, where you can tell how they are going to respond to you. But with narcissists, they can do something that you have never seen before. When they are experiencing narcissistic rage, you could see a person who is very different from the person you thought you knew. It's almost like they are possessed like some demonic entity is controlling their body and mind. Once you trigger the narcissist and cause a narcissistic injury, there is no telling what they will do. And most often, what they do while they are experiencing narcissistic rage while usually affect their lives in some way. Their actions might have a direct effect on their lives or it could be something to do with God, karma, the law of cause and effect. Narcissists will risk destroying themselves and their lives while trying to get revenge on you. They will go through pain, suffering and misery just to get revenge on you. If you have said or done something which may have caused a narcissistic injury, whether you intended to or not. Please ensure that you are in a place of safety. They are reckless and lack impulse control. When they are experiencing narcissistic rage, they are very unpredictable. And they do not mind punishing themselves or putting themselves in a difficult or undesirable situation, if it means that they can get revenge on you.
They are sadistic. They feed off your pain and suffering. Even if it isn't getting to you. Just the thought of it getting to you is enough for them to do it. That's their idea of pleasure. Because they cannot get the same fulfilment from anything else. They do not think about the consequences, they do not think about the future. And that is what makes them so dangerous.