You feel that you have been mistreated. And it has been going on for some time. It has remained consistent. Someone in your life has wilfully caused pain and suffering to you. And they have felt no concern about it. They have spoiled or ruined your opportunities or chances of success. They have been unkind and unpleasant. They've shown you that you are unworthy of their consideration. They've shown a lack of empathy. An inability to share your feelings and experiences. An inability to put themselves in your shoes. And they may have expressed this to you in various ways. Which is how you have ended up on this video. Because you sensed that something was wrong. And it was bad enough that you would then go out of your way to look for videos like this on YouTube. Because you suspect that maybe they are a narcissist. I am not a doctor. I am not a medical professional. So I cannot diagnose anyone. But what I can give to you, is a method to identify narcissism.
To test someone for narcissism, you need to set a boundary. You need to say "no". When they ask you to do something, just politely say "no". And then watch and observe their reaction to your response. To see if they are able to control their emotions. Because if you say it politely and they still experience a significant change in their mood. That is a sign that something is wrong with them. I am not a doctor, so I cannot give you a clinical diagnosis. But from my personal experience and my own personal opinion, it is a sign that you are dealing with someone who is narcissistic. Because no fully-grown adult should have a temper tantrum or be silent and unpleasant. Just because someone has told them "no". As we go from childhood to adulthood, we should hear multiple "no's". It's what helps us to develop empathy. To understand and share another person's feelings and experiences. It allows us to put ourselves in another person's shoes. Instead of just thinking about ourselves and what we want. It allows us to develop emotional maturity. So that we can respond to situations like an adult. Because we understand that we are not the center of the universe. Other people have the freedom to want and choose. Other people have their own desires and fears. It's not all about us. And when we realise that, we develop boundaries. We respect other people's realistic limits. We give them space to feel, act and genuinely be who they are. Rather than who we want or expect them to be. And it may hurt or disappoint us if they say "no". No one wants to be rejected. No one wants to be refused. But it's healthy and it's normal. It's an essential part of growing up. And of becoming a mature and responsible adult. You need to identify the pattern of behaviour that caused you to investigate the subject of narcissism. And when that behaviour comes up again, you need to politely say "no." And then observe their reaction. And if you have found the information that you were looking for, you can then mirror their behaviour back to them. So if they're lying to you, you should lie to them.If they're gaslighting you, you should gaslight them.
If they're withholding something from you, you should withhold something from them. If they're promising something about your possible future, but you discovered they have no intention of making it a reality. You should do the same thing to them. But you're not doing it to take advantage of them. You're not doing it to punish them or get revenge. If you calmly say "no" and they rage or they give you the silent treatment or they get very emotional. It suggests that you are dealing with someone who is narcissistic. Someone who is preoccupied with themselves and their own interests and needs. Someone who is only interested in their own activities. Someone who is only going to be harmful and unpleasant to you. Give them a taste of their own medicine and watch how they react. Whatever they're doing to you, you do it to them. If they are lying to you, you lie to them. If they are hiding things from you, you hide things from them. And watch how they react. If they get mad when you do the exact same things they've been doing to you. That means that something is seriously wrong with them. It suggests that they are narcissistic at the very least.
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