When you are in an argument with a narcissist, you may be trying to talk sense to them. You may be trying to give them an idea, feeling or opinion about something they've said or done, or something you've said or done. Or maybe it's about someone or something else. You may be trying to give them knowledge which you have developed from conscious thought or sufficient evidence. But you have difficulty conveying this information to them. You feel as though you cannot reach them with common sense. When you are dealing with a person who is not a narcissist, you will expect them to have good sense and sound judgement in practical matters. This is the standard of communication you naturally expect when you are interacting with a normal person. When you are dealing with a narcissist, you gradually begin to expect them to have difficulty responding with good sense and sound
You realise that you cannot interact with a narcissist as you might with someone who does have the ability to comprehend what you are saying. You cannot do that with a narcissist because they have poor cognitive reasoning skills. When you first met them you may have thought this person was understanding or they were about something. But narcissists have great difficulty with understanding and they're not really about anything. They want to fit in, they want to be relatable to you. They want to be able to identify with you and they want you to be able to identify with them. So they pretend to have knowledge or they pretend to understand. But secretly they have no idea what they're talking about and they have no idea what they're doing. It is not identifiable or understandable to them and they realise that you are having difficulty identifying with them or understanding them. But they will play along if they believe that they can get some benefit or gain out of it. When it comes to an argument, this is when you will really start to see that they really do have difficulty identifying with what you're about or understanding you. Because the argument most often is not in their best interest. They don't mind identifying or understanding something that could provide some benefit or gain to them. But there is no benefit or gain in the argument, so this is when they stop pretending to understand. You may think that you're getting through to them because they previously understood things you have said before. But those were positive things which had the potential to provide them with some form of benefit or gain. So they created a false impression that they did understand where you were coming from. When truthfully, they didn't understand at all, it made no sense to them. And when you are arguing, it makes no sense to them. It's just during the argument they stop pretending because there's no benefit or gain in it for them. This is why you are wasting your time when you argue with a narcissist. Even when you think you've found all of the information they need to understand or you've found undeniable evidence. It doesn't matter, they cannot identify or relate to you. And unless there's some form of benefit or gain in it for them, they're not even going to pretend.
When you make a point which has a sound basis in logic or fact and it is reasonable or convincing, yet this person still continues to pressure you and oppose your logic or facts; That's the first sign you need to end the argument and cut contact with this person. Because nothing is going to change, it only gets worse. When you argue with a narcissist, you have to repeat yourself again and again, because of their lack of understanding. They have poor cognitive reasoning skills and rather than arguing with logic or facts, they choose to argue with their feelings. Whatever they feel becomes the truth, rather than anything with a sound basis in logic or fact. Narcissists lack good sense and sound judgement in practical matters. So you are wasting your time arguing with them. Attempting to explain or justify with logical reasons. They are not fit to have relationships or to even have children. These types of things require efficient decision making based on logic or facts. Narcissists make their decisions or judgement from their own way of understanding, which is not grounded in reality and is done usually to benefit them at the expense of everyone else. What chance does their relationship partner or children have? There is a reason why many narcissistic abuse victims commit suicide and the children become criminals or drug addicts. Because when the narcissist made the decisions, they were not in the best interest of their relationship partner or the child. The decisions were made in the best interest of the narcissist, at the expense of everyone else. This is why you should not let a narcissist partake in anything of significant value or importance. Narcissists are very dangerous, destructive people to be around. Not only can they be very harmful to you, but they can also put you at risk of danger or harm from outside sources. You don't know what they are doing behind the scenes or when you're not around. Things that could present a risk of danger or harm to you in the near future. They get caught up in all kinds of things, it's like they just attract problems to them by the way they act and behave. And then they want to drag you into it and share their problems with you.
Narcissists react off of feelings, rather than logic or reasoning. They don't take the time to figure anything out. It's all based on how they feel. How they feel in that moment will depend on how they react to you. And most often narcissists are full of hatred, anger, envy and jealousy. So you should already know how they are going to react. You should already know what to expect from them when they react off of feelings, rather than logic or reasoning. Because they react off of feelings, it creates this fake world which is not grounded in reality. A world which doesn't make any logical sense, because it's based on the narcissist's emotions. It's based on their hatred, anger, envy and jealousy and how they are going to regulate those emotions. A person with good sense and sound judgement would not willingly enter a dangerous or harmful situation. Especially the kinds of things they do when they discard their victims. A person with good sense and sound judgement would have a cut-off point for the abuse. But because these narcissists are reacting off their feelings, there is no cut-off point. Because they're always full of hatred, anger, envy and jealousy. And as long as they feel that way, they will continue to abuse you. They are very unpredictable and they don't think about the consequences. This is what makes them so dangerous. What kind of person wants that in their lives? Think about that. Who wants a person who is unpredictable? Where you never know what's going to happen next?
A person who lacks the action of thinking about something in a logical or sensible way. Who wants an unpredictable, irrational person in their lives? Where they are always lying and you can never be on the same page with them. You shouldn't even feel comfortable interacting with a person who is unpredictable, irrational and a compulsive liar.