If you are dealing with a narcissist, don't waste your time trying to save them. Don't compromise with them, don't accept standards that are lower than what you desire or expect. Don't try to establish or develop anything with them. Don't try to be friendly with them. If you are being good to them or trying to build with them, it might hold them off for a moment. But it doesn't mean that they're not going to attack you later down the line. And naturally, if you have invested your time and energy into them, you are going to be desiring or expecting a return on your investment. Which just puts you in a position where you are destined to fail. Because the narcissist has no interest or concern for your desires or expectations. They have no concern for their needs. They are operating in survival mode, where they are just going to take whatever they can get to sustain them and leave you nothing in return. They have a scarcity mindset, where they are in short supply and they believe that there is only limited availability of a commodity. This is why they need to trick or deceive people into giving them what they need.
They will cheat, lie, steal. Whatever it takes to get what they need to sustain them. When the narcissist is in a time of intense difficulty or danger, they can become more covert. They might restrain their usual or normal way of behaving. The time of intense difficulty or danger might prevent the development, action, or expression of a certain feeling, impulse, or idea. They might try to conceal certain parts of their personality or character. They might try to prevent you from knowing certain things about them. But that does not mean that these traits are not still there within them. Their grandiose sense of self-importance. The delusional fantasies. Their need for constant praise and admiration. Their sense of entitlement. Their exploitative and abusive nature. All of these traits are still there within them, they are just concealed or restrained due to the time of intense difficulty or danger that they are currently experiencing. During these times they are going to limit their excessive pride and self-satisfaction in their achievements, possessions, or abilities. They are not going to be praising themselves or boasting as much as they usually would. They are going to be more willing to assist you, eager to help, eager to please. They might be friendly, generous, and considerate towards you. They are going to be more willing to assist you towards a common goal because they are in a time of intense difficulty or danger. You will not see the more damaging or harmful traits or red flags during this time. You might see some things that aren't right, but they will give in and submit to you, due to the current set of circumstances. During this time, they do not have the ability or capacity to do something or act as they normally would. They do not have the ability or capacity to influence the behaviour of others or the course of events. So they are not going to act out as much during this time. But once they begin to feel as though they are achieving something or completing something successfully and they are no longer feeling as though they are weighed down by
their feelings of worthlessness and insignificance, this is when they become more arrogant. This is when their exaggerated sense of their own importance and abilities begins to increase. And then they will be off looking for something better, looking for something greater. Looking to choose up on you.
As their false sense of superiority begins to increase, so does their exaggerated sense of their own importance and abilities. They already felt this way, but they believed that for whatever reason the world couldn't see it. Once the outer world begins to reflect their false, exaggerated, and delusional beliefs about themselves, you will see a completely different person. They go from the shy, introverted victim personality, to being this overt, grandiose, arrogant person who suddenly feels as though they are too good for you, above you. When a narcissist is in a time of intense difficulty or danger, they are not going to be acting overt, grandiose, and arrogant, as though they don't care about you, or as
though they don't care about how their actions affect you. They are going to be more willing to assist you. They are going to be easier to deal with. But it's only because they are in a time of intense difficulty or danger. They feel worthless and insignificant and they need you to save them. The narcissist is often at rock bottom when you meet them. And they are looking for someone to help or sustain them. This is when they have to work harder to attract you. They have to use more of their ability to please and attract you in order to influence you. They will go the distance and do absolutely anything. Go to any extreme, go to any limits, because they are at rock bottom. They feel drained, worthless, ineffectual, incapable. So they are going to do whatever it takes to get out of that situation. They are going to do whatever it takes to recover from those feelings of exhaustion and depletion. They will do things that you wouldn't imagine or expect them to do. When you are caring for and protecting the narcissist as they begin to rebuild themselves, you will start to see a sudden change in their behaviors. You are supplying them with the nourishment that they need to grow. You are building them up, you are making them stronger. You are feeding this hateful, angry, envious and jealous person. Who feels that people are unworthy of their consideration or respect. Who believes that people are worthless or beneath their consideration. That person is still within them, you just don't see it when they are in a time of intense difficulty or danger.
The narcissist is so very self-satisfied with an exaggerated sense of self-worth, that they take you for granted. They expect you to always be available. They expect you to serve them without needing to give you recognition, without needing to appreciate or even acknowledge your existence. They don't recognize your significance or value. They don't recognize that you are worthy of their attention. You're not worth anything to them, you're just something that they depend on or something that provides them with a means of escape from a difficult situation. You think that you're establishing or developing something with them, but all you're really doing is building and strengthening a profoundly immoral and wicked person. Wherever the narcissist's emotions go, that is where their thoughts go. That is what affects their way of thinking. Their emotions develop from their circumstances, mood or relationships with others. Which is why they soon forget about your significance and importance to them. They soon forget about all of the times that you were there for them, all of the times that you tried to help and support them. Because now their sense of self-esteem or self-importance is exaggerated and unreasonably high. Now they are able to entertain their delusional fantasies, where they are the most worthy and deserving of attention and admiration. They are the most attractive and desirable. The most significant and important. And everyone else around them is lacking the quality or quantity required or insufficient for a purpose. Unable to deal with a situation or with life. As they begin to improve their lives and get back to where they were, they begin to lose interest in you. They start taking you for granted. They start thinking as though they are better than you. Even though you are the one that helped and supported them. You are the one that sustained them. They still think that they are better than you. Even though you were there for them, in their minds you're just an object. You're just an object that exists to serve them and meet their needs. You're just something that they needed at that time to make them feel better, to regulate their sense of superiority. Then once they begin to feel better, now suddenly nothing you say or do makes any sense to them.They begin to put you down and look down on you. Everything you say is wrong or they don't want to hear what you have to say. This happens because they are now able to entertain their delusional fantasies. They are now feeling more validated by the external world. You might be the reason why they are doing better. The reason why they are feeling good now. But they do not want to accept that. If they had to accept that, it would mean that they cannot do any better than you. In their delusional fantasies, they are better than most people and that includes you. When they find people who they believe to have greater qualities or abilities than they have, their goal is to act as or become a friend to them. Because they are constantly in need of help or support. And that person is nothing more than something that they depend on or something that might provide them with a means of escape from a difficult situation. Once they have extracted help or support from this person, they will then gain access to their lives in a way that avoids notice or attention to acquire secret information. And they will then use this information to take or follow them as a model. To imitate their appearance or character. Once they are finished extracting qualities and abilities out of this person, they will then destroy them. They will make false and damaging statements about them in an attempt to destroy their reputation. They will treat or regard them with contempt or disrespect. Lower their character or quality, devalue and degrade them. Engage in acts of public humiliation. Because this person who is greater than them must be brought beneath them, for the representation of a particular situation or process to reflect or conform to the narrative that they are trying to suggest or display.
For the narrative of them being superior or greater to develop or take place. For this narrative to become their reality, they have to destroy their source of influence. They have to destroy their source of imitation. Because of their selfish and excessive desires for more. They are so envious and jealous of your qualities and abilities, that they have this desperate and obsessive need to redefine who you are and what you are about. They have to change the meaning of who you are or what you are doing, or make people think about you in a new or different way. They want to redefine the way in which people view you. Because they are envious and jealous of your qualities and abilities. And they can't stand the way the positive way in which people view you and admire you. They cannot express any approval, admiration, respect, or gratitude about you towards other people. They cannot publicly acknowledge you. Because a lot of the things that they are talking about in their conversations, a lot of the things that they are using to impress other people, are things that they have stolen from you. Sometimes you might even catch them walking or talking in the way that you do. Dressing like you, doing the things that you like to do. Because they spend nearly all of their time in this delusional fantasy world, to the point where they forget about other things which may be important. They actually believe that their fantasy world is the real world. And they forget to draw back or withdraw the characteristics and traits when they are around you. Which may be the very things that they have stolen from you. They take your qualities and abilities, they take everything that's good about you, and then they use it to gain attention and admiration. To impress other people. To make them feel as though they are something significant and important, desirable, and attractive. To make them feel as though they are positive in attitude and full of energy and new ideas. But this is all because they don't want to accept the truth and reality that they are inadequate or defective.
They don't want to accept the truth and reality that they are just trying to deceive people. When you are trying to save the narcissist, you may think that you are establishing or developing something with them. And that they are going to use it to improve their lives and become better people. But this is not what they are going to do. They are only going to use it to gain attention and admiration and to impress other people. That's all they are going to use it for. They are not going to use it to become a better person, where they can then give back to the people that helped and supported them. You are no longer useful or desirable to them, so they will get rid of you. And they will see you as someone who is responsible for their problems, harm, or damage. Someone who has evil actions or motives. Saving the narcissist will only support and actively encourage their disorder. And despite all of the help and support you may have given to them, they will only leave you in pain and distress, once they no longer have any use or desire for you.