Defeating The Narcissist
Narcissists are dependent on your reaction and being able to affect your emotions. What keeps us stuck with these people is when we take them seriously. When we entertain the belief that maybe they do have something of significant value or importance. They are very efficient at creating the illusion and displaying the value. Naturally, we assume that we are dealing with a person who is going to contribute or provide something of value. But they have no intention of exchanging anything with you. They have no intention of serving you. You are contributing or providing your resources while receiving the bare minimum in return to replenish what you are giving out. This leaves you in a deteriorating condition. When they can no longer affect your emotions, you have defeated them. When you can recognize or accept that they do not hold any significant value or importance to you, you have defeated them. They are fully aware that they are not having the same effect on you. They are no longer able to trick you into believing that they hold something of value. They recognize this, they understand it. They experience a sense of loss, especially when you start working on yourself.
Practicing self-love, increasing your self-worth, and self-esteem. Once they've seen that, they know you are not coming back. Because now you recognize that you do hold something of value. While they targeted your self-worth and self-esteem, making you believe that you were worthless or insignificant. They knew that you held something of value all along. The game was to make you believe that you were not good enough for them when they knew that they were not good enough for you. They were envious of your qualities, talents, and traits. They felt inferior to you, which turned the relationship into a competition where they were constantly trying to prove themselves to you. They were trying to project their own self-hatred on to you. They wanted you to hate yourself. But now you recognize your worth, you recognize your value. So they know it's over. Because they never brought anything of value to you. And now they have to watch your progress and succeed in your life. Which completely injures their dignity and pride. Because while you were working on yourself and focusing on creating a better life. They were either doing something reckless or focusing on trying to sabotage what you were doing. So now they've got nothing to show for the time that you were apart. Because they spent all of their time and effort on trying to tear you down.
Rather than focusing on their own lives. When you were with them, they were feeding off you. This was replenishing them, sustaining them, making them look good. If you are no longer around, they don't have that fuel anymore. They don't have anything to keep them going. Once you start doing better than you were when you were with them, it becomes clear who the problem was in that relationship. They will usually disappear. You won't hear from them, you won't see them around anymore. Because they don't want you to witness their defeat. It's humiliating, embarrassing to them. They don't want to give you the satisfaction of doing better than you were when you were with them. They are not going to come back to you, just to give you the opportunity of looking down on them. Especially if they know that you see through them, you no longer validate their false selves or their illusions.
When a narcissist doesn't hoover you, that means you have defeated them. It means that you're no longer a suitable target for them. Because you recognize your own value. You expect a certain standard. You see them for what they really are, rather than how they want you to see them. They are not going to want anything to do with you now. They want someone who doesn't recognize their own value. Someone who will settle for less than they deserve. Someone who doesn't know what they're about and will validate their false selves and their illusions. They are dependent on being able to control your emotions. Without that, they have no power to control you. If they cannot affect you emotionally, they are losing their power to control you. When you become more conscious, more aware of your thoughts and feelings. You will begin to detach yourself from them. You know that you have defeated the narcissist by how you feel on the inside. When you feel differently about interacting with them. You are no longer concerned about them or what they are doing. You no longer feel the same way. You are reacting differently to them. You have no anxiety about expecting a call from them or seeing them in person. You no longer anticipate a response from them. The most significant thing to a narcissist is being able to control you. Being able to affect how you think, feel, and react. When you have defeated the narcissist, you begin to see them from a different perspective. You no longer take them seriously. You no longer view them as a credible source. You no longer trust them. You no longer believe what they are saying or suggesting to you. You have no desire or motivation to interact with them. You understand that this individual is not useful or beneficial to you or your life. You understand that this individual does not possess any significant value.
You have defeated the narcissist.