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Before You Confront Them, Read This

Maybe someone mistreated you and ghosted you. It could be your ex. It could be your friend or family member. And you may be thinking of confronting them. You may be thinking of telling them that something is wrong with what they did. But if you do confront them. If you tell them you know who they are. You know what they did. You've figured them out. How do you expect them to react? They're not going to care. They will deny it. They will gaslight you. They will shift the blame on to you. They will say you're crazy. They're not going to admit it. They're not going to say that they manipulated you. They took advantage of you. And they ruined your life. They're never going to admit that. Which is why you shouldn't waste your time confronting them. You shouldn't waste your energy. Because you're not going to get the result that you want. They're never going to admit it. So your efforts are going to go to waste. Instead, you should invest your efforts into building your best life. Into becoming the best person that you can be.

They manipulated you. And then they abandoned everything they had with you. They're not going to change. This is how they get by. This is how they survive. They're not going to sit down and talk about it openly and honestly with you. They're not going to apologise. They're not going to tell you why they did what they did. They're not capable of doing that. So there is no point confronting them. Because you're not going to get the result that you want. It's just going to give them fuel. And they're going to think they still own you. Their entire relationship with you is built on the supply they get from you. Which means they need to control you. They need to dominate you. They need to take everything you have. They need to control your emotions. Which is why they don't mind if they get positive or negative attention. Because either way, they still feel like they're in control of you. As long as they can get a reaction of you. It will just make them want to do it again and again. Because it's regulating their emotions. So there's really no point in confronting the narcissist. Nothing good is going to come out of it. You're just going to be giving them supply. You're going to be telling them everything you know about them. Which is going to give them the upper hand. Many of you may want to confront them, so that you can prove it to yourself. But they're not going to validate your experience. They're going to make you doubt your own memory, perception and sanity. Which is why there's no point confronting them. You already know what you need to know. You don't need to prove it to them. They don't care. Even if you had all of the evidence and research in the world, it wouldn't make a difference. It wouldn't prove anything to them. They still wouldn't care. But all of that work you did was not for them. It was for you to prove it to yourself. To benefit yourself. It's not about confronting them. Because nothing good comes out of doing that. They're just going to deny it and gaslight you. They're going to make you think you're losing your mind. Which will only hinder your development and progress. It's not going to make anything better for you. Because they don't care.

Even if you found the smartest people in the world and put them in the same room as your ex, family member or friend. They would still deny it. They will discredit anyone who is opposed to them. It doesn't matter who they are. They're not going to listen to anything you say. Nothing you or anyone else says is going to carry any weight. Because they believe they've got it all figured out. They believe they can't do anything wrong. And you're the one who is at fault. So there's really nothing you can tell them. You're just going to be giving them supply. They're going to make you accept their version of events. And then they're going to feel like they own you. It's just going to send you backwards. Which is not what you want. You want to be moving forward. Which is why you need to leave them in the past. You need to go no contact.

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Dec 16, 2022

You're right, Christopher. Sometimes, it's not a love interest. There are times when a family member is setting you up to react and you can feel it. I'm learning to hold back. Even if it takes me a few days to collect myself. I'm not going to give them what they absolutely expect from me. What I choose to give them will be well thought out. They already spend time after I leave having a few cocktails and talking behind my back. I don't want to throw another log in their fireplace. You said something that is what I discovered I needed to do years ago. I never wanted to think or send any bad and negative emotions toward anyone.…

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