You haven't heard from the narcissist for a while. They didn't hoover you. They didn't call or message you. And you may wonder why. But there are always reasons why you don't hear from them. Here are 8 reasons why you don't hear from the narcissist. 1. They forgot about you
Narcissists have short attention spans. They're easily distracted. So sometimes, they will forget about you. For them to hoover you, there needs to be something to refresh their memory. Something to remind them about you. Something that makes them feel like they're missing out. And if there isn't, you won't hear from them. Which is why no contact is so effective. If you're not calling or texting them. And you've changed your phone number and blocked them on social media. And they don't know where you are. They can't get to you. So there's nothing to trigger them to hoover you.
2. They've collapsed They've experienced a failure, humiliation or other blow to their fragile self-esteem. So they retreat to recover after the defeat and disappointment. Which is why they won't hoover you. Because they don't want you to see that. They're embarrassed. They have too much dignity and pride. So they will stay away. 3. New supply They're lovebombing their new supply. They're investing all of their time, energy and money into them. They're trying to move forward with their new supply. And they're trying to gain control over you by ignoring you. Which is easy for them to do, because they're focused on their shiny new toy. So they're not going to care about you. Even if you do message or call them. They will ignore you. Or they will just toy with you. Because they don't need you, now that they have their new supply. 4. It's too much work Narcissists are lazy. They may see it as though it's just too much effort. Because maybe you've figured them out. Maybe you're no longer susceptible to their manipulation. Maybe you're no longer under their spell. And they don't want to do the work to get you back. If you have blocked them on social media and you've changed your phone number, it's very difficult for them to get to you. They would have to see you in person. And that may involve driving long distance or taking a flight. Which may be a price they're not willing to pay. So instead, they will choose to ignore you.
5. They're targeting someone else They may not have a new supply yet. But they're targeting someone. They have someone in their sights. They don't have time for you. They're too busy trying to secure this new supply. So you won't hear from them. 6. You're broken They damaged you. They stripped you of everything you have. So now, you're no longer a good fuel source for the narcissist. You can't provide them with any benefits or conveniences. Because they've broken you down. So they see it as though being with you would put them at a disadvantage. As though it wouldn't be good for them. Because they're self absorbed and they lack empathy. They're only concerned with their own interests and needs. So if you end up in hospital or you lose your job, they're not going to be there for you. Because they're not going to get anything out of it. So they will ignore you and try to fulfil their needs somewhere else.
7. They're unable to contact you For some reason, the narcissist may be unable to contact you. Maybe they're in hospital or maybe they're in jail. Or maybe someone is preventing them from contacting you. So it may be out of their control. They may want to contact you, but someone or something is preventing them from doing that. And that is why you don't hear from them. 8. They can't find you You won't hear from the narcissist if they can't find you. If you've gone no contact. If you've changed or deleted your social media. If you've changed your phone number. If you've moved house and they don't know where you live. If they don't know where or how to find you. So you won't hear from them, if you've gone no contact.
I think being happy with your friend has made you even better at this. This is true. All of these reasons for them not contacting you are very valid. I always left the door open just enough that a piece of paper could slide through. Then, the ego that I only take out on special occasions, came roaring to life. I burned every bridge, I knocked all the buildings over, I even blocked his ability to think about me. I was very good prime supply. So good in fact, that he took everything to heart because, I can see through walls and time, he found himself a girlfriend. He did come back for one last try. Telling me that he…