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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

7 Reasons Why Narcissists DON'T Come Back

Sometimes narcissists come back. And sometimes they don't. But there are reasons why they didn't come back. So here are 7 reasons why narcissists don't come back to you.


1. New Supply. They've found a new supply. And they are deeply involved in this new situation. Because it demands a lot of their time and energy. So that they can keep this new person around. They have to create a new character to amuse this new person. So they don't have the time to come back to you. They might occasionally message you. But it won't be anything significant. Because they don't have the time for it. They're too busy with this new person. Because it's a fresh, new source of supply for them. They've got everything to learn about them. So they're deeply invested in this new person.


2. It ended badly with you. Maybe you ended it with them. Or they ended it with you. Maybe they completely burned the bridge with you. They said and did things that are unacceptable. So they know they can't come back. They know that you wouldn't accept them.


3. They don't need to come back. Maybe you're still single. And they know you can't move on. They know that they can go off and you still won't be with anyone. So there's no reason for them to come back to you. Because you're still under their control. They don't need to be there to control you. So in those cases, they will stay distant. They will keep you at arm's length. But they may still check in from time to time. To keep you locked in. To keep you under their control.





4. You've met someone. You might have found someone already. And when they find out about it, it will cause a narcissistic injury. It will make them very angry. Especially if you managed to beat them to the punch. And move on before they did. Because then they will feel like they're nothing. They will feel unimportant. Narcissists will often come back just to prevent you from finding something else. Even though they don't really want to come back. They don't really want you. They just want to occupy your headspace and time, so that you don't find someone else. Which is why they will often come back with these random messages. To keep you thinking about them. So that you can't think about anyone else. So that you still have a home in your heart for them.


5. You're no longer susceptible to their manipulation. You refused to cooperate with them. You no longer reacted to them in the same way that you once did. You became indifferent. You no longer respected them. And they don't want to be around someone who is behaving in that way around them. Because they know they've lost their advantage. They know they've failed to hold their position with you. They know that you have changed. And they're not going to be able to pull you back in. So they have no choice but to move on. They can't come back to you, even if they wanted to. Because they know they're not going to be able to control you. If they're going to come back, they need you to be hurt. They need you to be angry and upset. They need you to be longing and yearning for them.





6. You don't care. You're not mad about anything. You're not thinking about them. You just don't care. So they're not going to come back to you. They only hoover when you care. When you still have hope that things can be different. When you're still longing and yearning for them to change. Because they can use that to their advantage. They can use it to restore the situation. But if you don't care, they will try to replace you with something they think is better. With someone who they think cares more about them. Because that's what they're really looking for. They want to be the center of your world. They want to be the only thing that matters to you.


7. They found something better. The narcissist won't come back if they've found something better. But their idea of better is really just a better fool. Someone who is willing to be their emotional punching bag. Someone who is willing to be their doormat. Someone who will do whatever they want, whenever they want them to do it. And they will only come back if the new situation has failed. If what they thought was better wasn't better afterall. And this can often happen. Because they always think the grass is greener on the other side. They're always looking for something better. But it doesn't work out the way they expect it to.


So then they come back to you. Because you're an option to them. But they never consider to put the work in to keep you in the first place. Because they don't want to work on themselves or work on anything with you. Which is why they go somewhere else, until that fails and then they come back to you. But that's all it really means when they do try to come back. They just see you as an option. Which is why you have to make it clear to them, that it's not going to work out that way.

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