Why You WON'T Hear From The Narcissist Anymore

It can be very confusing when the narcissist suddenly disappears because they leave you without any closure or explanation. What you need to understand is that narcissists are performers; they're entertainers. They're only there to amuse or interest you, and that's as far as it goes. It can never be anything more than that. However, they may have led you to believe that you were building a relationship together.

Narcissists adjust their behavior based on their audience because they gain pleasure and satisfaction from your reactions to what they do to you. They put on a show, but it's only for attention, validation, admiration, and praise. That's all that it's for because, to them, that's worth more than anything else—more than money. All they really want is to be seen. They just want you to acknowledge their existence so that they can feel powerful and in control.

But then they suddenly disappear. They suddenly don't want to deal with you anymore, or they start doing things more slowly or with less energy than before. This happens because they already know they're not captivating you. They already know they're not capable of attracting you or holding your interest by being exciting, pleasant, or attractive. This is why they will remove themselves; they will stop what they're doing and leave.

They already know what's coming. You've already let on that you're not interested in them. You've questioned and confronted them on their bad behavior. You've reflected their insecurities back to them. So, they don't want to go for the full effect of being rejected by you because you've unknowingly rejected them already. You rejected them first, and it triggered them. It caused a narcissistic injury. So, they know it's only a matter of time until you get rid of them. They're anticipating it.

You've already let on that their act isn't inviting, attractive, tempting, or enticing anymore. All they ever were is a performer or an entertainer, and they pay very close attention to you as their audience. They're very observant and self-conscious, constantly paying close attention to your body language, facial expressions, and tone of voice. They already know exactly what you think of them, even if you don't say anything.

They recognize when you were initially deeply involved, but they also recognize that your emotional responses weren't the same as they were in the beginning. They recognized that it lost the intensity and the effect that it once had because it was no longer fulfilling for them. It no longer gave them fuel.

So, when they started to see that they were no longer having an effect on you, they felt that, and it affected them. You weren't giving them any praise or attention. You weren't giving them anything to encourage them to keep going. They're just a performer or an entertainer. So, they understand that if you're not reacting the same way as you did before, then it's time for them to leave. They will remove themselves. They will ghost you; they will discard you because you've discovered something unappealing about them, or you're just not reacting to them in the same way as you did before. You're not giving them an emotional response, so they're not receiving that same energy from you.

They don't appeal to you as they did when they first met you, when everything they did made you feel good, and you were giving them your appreciation and emotions. That's what motivates them to continue, but they're insatiable. They always need more, which is why it's inevitable that at some point they will remove themselves. Their act becomes negative, boring, and mundane. It begins to lack interest and excitement. It becomes dull.

They abuse their position of power over you, even though you may have feelings for them or you may love them. They use it against you. They abuse it until you begin to feel differently about them and begin to react differently to them. That is when they have to get rid of you, or they will just push you away, or they will just disappear on their own because they know what's coming. They know it's not having an effect on you anymore. Once they realize that, they no longer desire you or want to be with you because they know it's only a matter of time until you get rid of them. They're very sensitive to rejection, so they'd rather be on the other side of it. They'd rather be the one who can say that they discarded you, or that they pushed you away, or that they never wanted you anyway because you weren't good for them. They will always have some excuse.

The reality is that they disrespected you. They damaged the relationship, so they know that they have to leave. They know that they have to end the performance because that act has become boring and mundane. They can see that you've gotten tired of it. They can see that it doesn't stimulate you, so they know that it's lacking interest and excitement. It doesn't stimulate them; it doesn't give them fuel because you're not responding too readily. You're not easily excited by them. You just see them as something unpleasant and offensive.

Even if you choose to stay, they know it's only because you don't want to lose the time that you've wasted. They know that you're annoyed and unhappy with them. They know that you're about to get rid of them because they pay very close attention to your facial expressions, body language, and tone of voice. They can get an advanced warning of your next move, and then they will know when it's time for them to discard you or to start being mean and disrespectful to you so that they can say that it happened under the conditions that they decided. They want to be in a position of power rather than it being because of you. It makes it easier for them to deal with it rather than having to accept that you didn't want them. But that's the reality of it. You trigger the discard because they know they're just a performer or an entertainer, and if that act isn't good enough, they have to walk off the stage.