Updated: Nov 18, 2020
They stop texting and calling you. They stop coming around to see you. When you text or call them, they no longer respond. This is when the narcissist stops talking to you. This is the discard phase.
There can to a build up to when they stop talking to you. They might stop talking to you less and less, until they gradually fade away. But sometimes they just suddenly change. It's like they've just suddenly become a completely different person. And you no longer know who they are. It can be quite a frightening experience. It's like your world suddenly gets turned upside down. You're very confused and nothing makes sense. But this is also a part of what they want. They don't want you to understand why they've stopped talking to you. They don't want you to figure it out. Because the reason why a narcissist leaves you, really has nothing to do with you anyway. It has more to do with the fact that they can never be satisfied with anyone or anything. They want you to think that there's something wrong with you. They want you to think that you're not good enough. But if there's really nothing for them to criticize, there's no point in them sticking around. There's nothing bad for them to say about, so they'll just disappear. But if there was something, where you failed to meet their needs and they are able to convince you that you messed up... They will stick around for longer. They will use it as an opportunity to devalue and degrade you, so that they can get their supply. Because that's all a narcissist really wants is supply. The only reason why a narcissist would ever leave is because the supply is running low. They're not getting enough attention or admiration. You're not feeding their egos as much as you used to. And it's probably because their masks have slipped too many times. It's probably because you're beginning to figure them out. Once you know what they really are and what they're really about... You can't admire them after that. You can only admire them, when they've tricked you into falling for the illusion. But once you wake up from the fantasy world, you then realise what you've really been dealing with. You then realise what the person really is. And you take a step back. You don't put in as much time or effort as you used to. You might not answer their calls or respond to their texts as much as you once did. And by doing that, you are then limiting their supply. You are limiting the amount of attention that you would otherwise give to them. Which leaves them alone to their own feelings about themselves. Which is something that no narcissist wants to be left alone to. They reflect on these feelings of how worthless and insigificant they really feel. Of how they feel that they could never be good enough for you. And it's just not something that they want to deal with. So they begin to seek out other sources of supply. Other people to attend to them and admire them. To make them feel as though they are worth something. And when you come back to them, after you're done recovering from all of the abuse and manipulation they've thrown at you... Suddenly they've got no time for you. Because now they're involved with all of these new sources. They've got other people giving them attention now. People who don't know who they really are or what they're really about. People who are susceptible to their manipulation. Or people who are no different to them. People who are just using the narcissist. Because the narcissist is most vulnerable during the love bombing phase. At the beginning when they are trying to groom new sources of supply. That's when it's easy for anyone to take advantage of them. Because they will do whatever it takes to secure that new source of supply. They will do anything for attention. But they're not going to try and get their attention from you, because they know that you already know what they're about. They have to trick you into falling for the illusion first, before they can get any supply out of you. But if you stay grounded in your reality and stay out of the fantasy world, they can't get anything out of you. And that is why they will stop talking to you. Because they can't get anymore supply. It doesn't have the same effect, once you've figured them out. But they will try to make you believe that there was something wrong with you. They will try to make you believe that you weren't good enough for them. It's all part of the game. It's just another way for them to get supply. And they will try to triangulate you with these new sources of supply. If they can't get supply by impressing you or being whatever they think you might want... Then they'll get supply by hurting you. And that's why towards the end of the relationship, all they seem to do is hurt you. They are punishing you for not seeing them in the way that they want to be seen. They are punishing you for not validating their false selves and the illusions that they are trying to portray. The worst thing you can do to a narcissist, is to see them as they actually are, than how they wish to be seen. Thank you for watching. 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