No contact is very important. It will help you to heal from the abuse. And it may also make them desire you again. No contact is very extreme. It means zero contact at all. No seeing them. No texting or DMs. No phone calls. No looking at their social media. No looking at old pictures. So you do not communicate with them or see them. You don't know what they're doing or where they are. It's extreme. But it works very well, when you are trying to heal. Because when you're not in contact with them... When you're not seeing what they're doing... You are creating less and less memories of them. Because whenever you see them, talk to them or text them... You are constantly adding memories to your brain of you and them. So this is the power of no contact. Because the further away you can go from the point of the last contact... The less memory you have of them. And even the memories that you used to have become difficult for you to perceive and remember. Because a lot of time has passed.
So you won't remember every thing you did together. You won't remember who they are as a person. And you may not even remember what they look like. Which is why no contact is so important. Because a lot of the pain that you have comes from those memories. Which is why whenever you break no contact, you are reigniting that emotional pain. It becomes fresh in your head. So you shouldn't even wait for no contact to happen naturally. Just start it right now. Because then they will become less real. They will become a figment of your imagination. Because when you go no contact, all you have left are the memories. And the memories gradually fade away with time. So they become less real. They become less of a person in your head. So they don't affect you as much. You're experiencing less anxiety and depression. You're experiencing less sadness. And it will continue to go away, as the memories fade. As they become less real. No contact is one of the most difficult things that you can do after experiencing a breakup. Because for some of you, it may be the exact opposite of what you want. You may want to communicate with them. You may want to get back with them. You may want to see what they're doing. You may want to see what they're posting on social media. You may want to see if they're with someone else. Or if they're having fun. Will they text you back? Can you get them back? So it may not be what you want. It may be difficult. It may be painful. Because it's like an addiction. It's like coming off a drug. Because while you were with them, your brain was releasing dopamine and oxytocin. The feel good hormones. You felt really good when you were with them. And maybe you wanted more of that. But now that you're going no contact, it's like you're experiencing withdrawal. So this person is the drug. And it may be painful. But it works very well. It is the number one way and the fastest way to get over someone. It is very important if you want to heal fast and if you want to move on. But maybe you don't want to move on. Maybe you don't want to give up on them. And for those of you who are still at that stage, I wish you luck. Because there is nothing I can say to convince you. You have your own situation. But going no contact may also help you to get them back. But I don't encourage you to do that. If you broke up, there is a reason why it ended. There was a problem.
So if you are trying to get them back, you're just going to be bringing back the problem into your life. When there's really no point in doing that, because there are so many other people out there. People who may be better for you. Because it can be very difficult to get them back. Especially if they have lost attraction for you. You can try going no contact. So that they won't remember why they lost attraction for you. And then you can get them back, after you have learned why you weren't attracting them in the first place.
Once you have worked on things in your life. Once you have developed yourself. Or whatever it was in your situation. You can then come back as a more attractive version of yourself. And you have a better chance. But they may still see you as unattractive. And then there's not much you can do. Which is why you shouldn't really waste your time. Instead, you should go off and find people who are going to see you as attractive and like you for who you are.