When & Why Will A Narcissist DISCARD YOU?

Narcissists are great actors. They put on a show. While you believe you’re building a meaningful relationship, you’re really just part of the audience, watching the narcissist perform. They gauge your reactions to everything they do. Their performance is designed to win your admiration and praise—because if there’s one thing they crave even more than money, it’s your attention. That attention makes them feel powerful and in control.

But eventually, their interest in you begins to fade. Their performance loses energy, and they may even walk off the stage entirely—because they already know what’s coming. They sense that their act is no longer attractive or captivating to you.

Narcissists are always watching—your facial expressions, your body language, the tone of your voice. They thrive on your reactions, especially when they manage to upset you, then charm you back into forgiving them. That spark in your eyes, that glitter of excitement, is what fuels them.

Yet, over time, they notice when your emotional responses begin to change. When your eyes no longer light up, when your reactions lack the intensity they once had, when the fuel is running out—they know the end is near. They know the curtains are about to close.

And when that happens, they leave. They ghost you. They discard you. They do it because you stopped giving them what they need—the admiration, the energy, the emotional payoff. Without that fuel, the performance is pointless.

This is why they cannot sustain a relationship with just one person. The discard is inevitable. The act becomes stale, repetitive, and irritating, especially as their mistreatment chips away at your feelings. Eventually, you see them differently.

That’s when they escalate to the discard. They push you away, or they leave on their own terms—because they already know the act has failed. They would rather control the ending than face the humiliation of being rejected. Discarding you allows them to preserve a false sense of dignity, even after they’ve destroyed your trust and poisoned the relationship with their toxic behavior.

When they leave, it’s because they know you can’t tolerate them anymore. They know you’re no longer entertained by their act. You’ve grown tired of the performance. It no longer interests you.

And because you’ve stopped reacting, they stop caring. You no longer excite them. Instead, you disapprove of them, because they’ve become offensive, unpleasant, and unbearable.

Still, some of you may continue to endure it. You may show strength and determination, not because you’re happy, but because you don’t want to lose everything you’ve invested. Narcissists recognize this. They know you’re frustrated and unhappy. They can sense when you’re about to discard them, and that gives them the chance to make the first move.

They’ll begin to withdraw, become cruel, or disrespect you—because it feels better for them to leave on their own terms than to be left by you. That way, they can rewrite the story in their mind: they weren’t rejected, they were in control all along.

But the truth is this: when a narcissist discards you, it’s because you triggered it. You stopped fueling their performance. And once the act no longer works, every actor knows they have to walk off the stage.