When you set strong boundaries, the narcissist realises they've lost. Especially when you go with no contact. And dissociate from anyone who was on the narcissist's side. Because in most situations, you will lose your family members and friends. And you have to cut off anyone who believes the narcissist. But when you move on and you become stronger and healthier... And you forget about the narcissist. And then the narcissist tries to hoover you, but you don't respond to their hoover attempts.
They begin to realise that they have lost. As long as you're communicating with them, they think they're winning. They think they're in the clear. But when you cut them off, it tells them everything that they need to know. But because they're so arrogant and audacious, they believe that at some point you're going to slip up. They believe that at some point you're going to fall for it. Because their manipulation has been successful in the past, with you or with past victims. So they're expecting it to work for them again.
They're expecting you to break no contact. But when you've moved on with your life. And you're in a happier and healthier place. That is when you have defeated the narcissist. Because they see you as a puppet. They see you as someone who is at their beck and call. That's their reference point or mental snapshot for you. And they can't think of you in another way. Because they were successful at manipulating you in the past. So they believe that they can do it again. But if you maintain no contact, it baffles them. It catches them off guard. Because they've never seen you do that before.
They never thought that you were going to be the one to leave them. So at that point, you're smarter than they thought. Because you've managed to maintain no contact. And they always thought of you as someone who would always listen to them. Someone who would always do whatever they want. But as soon as you go no contact... And you stop listening to them. You stop doing what they want you to do. That's when they start to see your value. That's when they start to see how great you actually are. Because you're not with them. They see it as though if you're so great you shouldn't be around them. Because they know they're not deserving of you. But they managed to trick you.
Which is why they think you're foolish and naive. But when you break free from their spell, that's when they realise how smart you really are. But it baffles them. Because you used to obey their every command. You used to do whatever they wanted you to do. You tolerated the abuse. And they got away with everything. But now you won't even talk to them. You won't even talk to their family or friends. It's very confusing for the narcissist. But the longer you stay away from them, the more your value increases in their eyes.
The more they begin to respect you. Because they no longer have access to you. So they will be forced to accept that they have lost. Because you don't want anything to do with them. But narcissists are sore losers. They get very angry, irritated, and annoyed when they do not win something or gain a desired advantage. So you need to be cautious. You need to protect yourself. Because when narcissist realises they've lost, they will want revenge.
Narcissists are empty people. They have no value or purpose. So they're constantly trying to add value to themselves. They're constantly trying to look like they're the winner. Because they see things in black and white. Where people are either winners or losers. People are either the best or the worst. They're either amazing or rubbish. And that all depends on whether you're with them or against them. If they feel that you are not on their side, then you are their enemy. They have to take you down. And they have to beat you to the punch.
They have to get you before you get them. Because if you're not with them, you're not going to be a source of supply for them. But they see it as though you could steal the spotlight away from them. So they have to make you look bad before you get the chance to make them look bad. Everything is a game with them. But their game is over when they realise that they're no longer relevant or important. And that is why they're always bragging and boasting. They're grandiose. They're impressive and imposing in appearence and style.
They're always surrounded by people. They command the attention of their admirers and subordinates. They feel entitled to privileges and special treatment. Or they're playing the victim. They're acting like they've been abandoned without any help or support. As though they've been neglected or mistreated. But either way, they're still trying to get attention for themselves. They want everyone to be focused on them. But when they're no longer getting that attention, they realise they've lost. Especially when people are criticising them.
Especially people who are meant to be on their side. Or people who they respect and admire. When those people walk away from them, that's when they begin to realise that they have lost. And people do often walk away from the narcissist. Because they're excessively concerned with themselves and their own needs. They lack consideration for other people. Even people who are meant to be their friends and family. But eventually, people stop believing their lies. And when the narcissist gets exposed, that's when they really feel like they have lost. Because they get their inner sense of value from the external world. And when other people don't see them as a winner, they feel like they have lost.