You may feel like you are always chasing after the narcissist. They're not responding to your texts. They're not answering your calls. They're ghosting you. And maybe you want it to change. Maybe you want their attention. You want to feel like you matter to them. So you want them to chase you. And that is actually a very easy thing to do. I'm going to give you ways to make the narcissist chase you.
Stop arguing. Stop arguing with them. Stop feeding into the drama. Stop giving them a reaction. Stop showing them you care. Let them say what they want to say. Let them have the last word. It will mess with their mind. It will make them unable to think clearly. Because they're saying these things to get you to respond. To get a reaction out of you. To keep you coming back. And when you don't, they're really confused. It makes them wonder why you're not reacting to it. It makes them wonder what else are you doing. It makes them wonder if there's something more important to you.
No contact Give them a taste of their own medicine. Stop contacting them. Ghost them. Don't text them. Don't call them. Don't post anything about them on social media. Because they will be watching to see if they've affected you. Don't discuss the breakup Don't talk about it with your family or friends. Because it could get back to the narcissist. You should only share this information with people who you can trust. It will make the narcissist think you're not bothered about it. You're not sad. You're not thinking about it.
Don't block the narcissist Many people may advise blocking the narcissist. But if you do that, they're going to think that you're angry or upset. They're going to think they've got to you. Blocking the narcissist is still a reaction to something they've said or done. So don't even take the time to block them. Just go no contact. Live your best life Instead of pretending like you don't care about the narcissist. You need to make it a reality for yourself. By living your best life. By doing things that you like to do. Start a new hobby or interest. Go to the gym. Go on vacation.
Post your best life on social media Instead of posting about how upset you are after the breakup. Post your positive experiences. Post your achievements and success. Post the things you're doing. Post the places you go. So that they can see you're not concerned about them. Because they will be stalking you. They will want to see if you've moved on. So you want to make sure that when they do spy on you, they see something that spoils their stomachs. You want them to see that you're living a better life without them.
Respond to their hoover attempt This is the final thing you have to do. It is very powerful, but it is also very manipulative. I don't recommend doing this, as it is quite cruel. But it is effective. When the narcissist finally hoovers you, if you want to make them chase you, you should respond. But don't show any signs of interest. Respond to them after a few hours. Don't respond to them late at night or early in the morning. Don't answer any questions about your life or what you're doing now. Tell them it's none of their business. It will drive them insane. And it will make them chase you even more.
They will show more interest in you than they ever did before. But it's not because they're interested in you as a person. It's not because they love you. It's not because they're going to change. They're just trying to soothe their bruised ego. They're trying to get supply. They're trying to use you to feel better about themselves. Because they can't find anything better. The narcissist will never value you as a person. If they had anything better to do, they would be doing that. They will never appreciate you. They will only ever see you as an object that exists to meet their needs.
I had so many wonderful things to say to you, Christopher. But, it got erased so, it must have been not meant to be read out loud. Thank you for this blog. 🌺 Carly