THIS IS WHY Narcissists Are COVERT

Covert narcissists crave admiration and importance. They need to feel like there's something impressive and worthy of respect, as though they're of great significance and value, and of considerable influence and authority.

They may display symptoms of narcissistic personality disorder, but they will often hide the more obvious signs of their condition. They have the same insecurities as an overt narcissist, but they internalize their self-importance. Their condition is caused by childhood trauma, low emotional intelligence, and abusive past relationships, which has resulted in them being hypersensitive to criticism and chronically envious and jealous. This is why they will gaslight you and show a lack of empathy. It's also why they feel the need to compete with you and be superior.

But unlike the overt narcissist, they won't be so impressive and opposing. They won't act so friendly or socially confident because they're very insecure and have low self-esteem. They fear rejection and abandonment, which is why they will typically play the victim, as though they've been tricked or duped. When in fact, they are the perpetrator in every situation they're involved in. They're very disagreeable, so there's no two sides to things. If they don't agree with you, they will plot to destroy you in secrecy.

They will seek revenge because they're very unforgiving and hold grudges. They do that because they have a negative approach to life. They choose to hold on to emotions like envy and jealousy, and they become very bitter and resentful. This is already understood; many people are already aware of this information. But what no one talks about is why covert narcissists hide the abuse.

Why is it not openly acknowledged or displayed? Why is it done in secret? This is why I decided to create this video—to give you five reasons why narcissists choose to be covert.

1. They Don't Really Believe in Their Stance

They don't have enough confidence in their attitude and point of view. They're unsure, and many of them already know that they're wrong. They're insecure, they lack self-confidence, and they require excessive validation. They need to get other people on board. They need other people to be in agreement with their particular course of action because if other people believe in it, it makes it more believable to them. Then they will feel justified in what they do. It will make more sense to them. But they haven't got enough confidence to pursue that course of action on their own because they already know that it's wrong. It's just that any other alternative would not produce the result that they want, so they feel compelled to continue along this path to obtain what they want and what they are missing, which is a sense of safety, stability, and security. Covert narcissists are very paranoid and hypervigilant. They think people are out to get them. They're emotionally unstable and very insecure, but they're also very entitled. They think the world owes them something, so they feel inherently deserving of privileges and special treatments.

2. They Don't Think the World Would Accept Their Ideology

Covert narcissists hide their true feelings and opinions. They keep a code of silence. They choose to hide the abuse because if they came out and it became common knowledge, they know that it would come across as foolish and unreasonable. It wouldn't make any logical sense, and their behavior would be seen as unjustified because their justifications would not fit the cause. It wouldn't line up with their actions or the things that they say are important to them. If it was so important, they would be akin to other things that should be more significant to them. So they have to remain covert, or else people would start to question their motives. They would question why they're doing what they're doing, and then they would realize that the root cause of their behavior is envy and jealousy.

3. They Think It Gives Them the Upper Hand

Covert narcissists don't put all of their cards on the table. They're very dishonest, so they won't tell you their thoughts or plans in an open way. They won't be honest about their feelings or intentions because they believe that it gives them the upper hand. They believe that it gives them the advantage, and that's ultimately what they're seeking because they're very insecure. They lack confidence in themselves, so they have to hide what they're doing to put themselves in a favorable and superior position. What they're really seeking is power and control. They need to establish some authority over the thing that they are envious of because otherwise, you would be in control of them, and you would be able to dictate their feelings and emotions. They don't want you to do that. They don't want you to have that power over them, so they have to break you down mentally and emotionally. They have to gaslight you and leave you in a state of confusion so that you can't make sense of anything because then that gives them power over you. This is what they're seeking because they're very insecure. They feel intimidated by you. They feel vulnerable and at risk, as though they're exposed to the possibility of being attacked or harmed because they're very paranoid. Also, deep down, they already know that they deserve it because they know they don't mean you well. So they already expect to be mistreated. They're expecting you to take revenge because they already know that they're no good. This is why they don't put all of their cards on the table and why they're seeking the upper hand. They're already expecting you to destroy them. They already know that it's what they deserve, so it's what they're expecting you to do.

4. They Would Be Setting Themselves Up

If they were not covert, they would be setting themselves up to be seen as abusers, as groomers, as bad, despicable people, as people who mean you no well. That is the last thing they want to do. They're not going to put themselves in that position because they don't want to play that role. Covert narcissists prefer to play the victim because they believe that it gives them more power, attention, and sympathy. They believe that it makes them untouchable. Then no one would see it as though you were trying to protect or defend yourself. If they came out, they would be exposing themselves to the possibility of danger or harm. They would be revealing their own true objectionable nature, and then people would be able to see everything as it actually is. They would be able to question things, and they would be able to decide what is right and what is wrong. The narcissist already knows how that would go down. They already know that not everyone would be accepting of their ideology, which is why it's a very slow process for them to groom people, to brainwash them, to get them to accept their system of ideas and ideals. It doesn't happen overnight. But a lot of them were already that way even before the narcissists contaminated their minds. They already possessed that way of thinking, and it just amplified their behavior. It brought out the monster that was already there inside of them. If you gave people a pass to do whatever they want, you'd be surprised what people might do because, by nature, a lot of people are not morally good. This is why we have rules and laws, and it's why covert narcissists hide the abuse. They don't want to be subject to the law, and they don't believe that they should have to answer to anyone because, in their minds, they are the exception. It might be wrong for everyone else, but it's okay for them. They hide it because they know the world might not agree with how they think, but that doesn't change how they feel inside. Deep down, they really believe that they're justified in doing what they do. They believe that they're not accountable because they've been wronged or because they've had a difficult life, which caused them to develop this arrogance and a strong sense of entitlement where they think they can do whatever they want without any consequences for their actions.

5. They're Cowards

When it all comes down to it, they're just cowards. They lack the courage to endure dangerous or unpleasant things. They're not brave, so they're too eager to avoid danger, difficulty, and pain. They're non-confrontational because they know it's a battle they cannot win. This is why they will never try to fight you with logic or correct reasoning. They're just not going to go there with you because they already know they'd be setting themselves up to fail. So instead, they try to get around your logic. They gaslight you. They manipulate your emotions. They try to weaken you because they see you as a strong opponent. When in fact, it's not so much that you're a superhero or some other fictional character. It's just that they're weak. They're lacking the power to perform. They have little strength and energy. They don't have the ability, skills, or qualities to face things head-on and to be direct. So they have to deviate from the direct line or course rather than following the correct action or procedure so that they don't suffer the immediate result of something. They can't proceed straight to the point. They can't object because they already know that would put them in a weaker position. They know it would put them at a disadvantage because they lack confidence. They're unsure of themselves, and a lot of them don't even know why they're doing what they're doing. They haven't even tried to make sense of it. It's a habit. They're just stuck on a loop. Deep down, they are craving love, connection, and acceptance. They just don't know how to get it. Even if it was right in front of them, they wouldn't know how to receive it.

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