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Writer's pictureNarc Survivor

The Reason Why The Narcissist Didn't Give You What You Want


The narcissist will make you believe that they have so much to give. They will make you believe that they have everything you could want. But they will also make you believe that they don't want to share anything with you. They will make you believe that they would rather give it to anyone but you. You could be fooled into believing that they are withholding this amazing character. This personality that you've never seen before. You may even refer back to the love bombing phase when they were giving you compliments and gifts. They made you feel loved and appreciated. And you may think that's who they really are. And that is what you are now missing out on, as well as everything they made you believe they were withholding from you. So now you assume that they are with someone else and they are sharing this best part of themselves with this new person. While they just gave you the crumbs. They gave you less than you deserved. Which then makes you feel as though you were treated unfairly. Or at least, that's what the narcissist wants you to think. The truth is, when you first met the narcissist, you were deceived. You were given a false impression. They mirrored you and reflected back to you what you were about. They made you believe that they were on the same level or frequency. But they weren't really about any of that. It was just designed to lure you in. To make you want to be around them. But the longer you spent around them, the more you began to notice cracks in their false image. The more you began to realize that they weren't who they said they were. And that was then you saw the real person underneath the mask. The bitter, angry, resentful person who could never be satisfied with anything. That's who they really are. They were not withholding anything significant or valuable from you. But once the relationship is over, the only way for them to get supply is to make you believe that you are missing out on something. To make you believe that they are now sharing the best part of themselves with someone else. When it just isn't true. They tricked you in the beginning, by making you believe that they were everything you could've wanted them to be. And when they leave you, they just do the same thing to someone else.



But because you're just an observer of this situation, it looks real. You believe that they've really moved on and they're happy with someone else. When really they've just managed to manipulate another unsuspecting victim. It's only a matter of time until it all falls apart. The reason why the narcissist didn't give you what you want, is because they didn't have it. They could only create the illusion that they had what you want. And as long as you were willing to believe in that illusion, they were willing to stick around.


But as soon as you started to figure them out. That is when they had to portray this illusion to someone else. But they never had what you want. If they had it, they would've given it to you a long time ago. They would've done anything to secure you. Anything to make you believe that they are what you want. Because that is what gives them supply. That is what makes them feel alive. But it was never real. It was all a lie. Everything they do is just to make them feel better about themselves. To distract themselves from their miserable lives. And that includes when they leave you and move on to someone else. They're just playing the same game again. Although it might look different to you as an observer. They gave you everything they had. And when they move on, all they've got is what you left over. What you didn't use. But they never had what you want. And that is why they couldn't give it to you. We can only give what we have. To love another, we must first love ourselves. The narcissist hates themselves, so they can only hate us.


They feel fear and shame, so they can only make us feel the same way whenever we are around them. You cannot give to someone, something that you don't already possess. And that is why they didn't give you what you want. Because they couldn't. They didn't have it to give to you and they don't have it to give to anyone else.

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samharper44
Dec 22, 2021

I’m saving this for tomorrow. It looks like a very informative read. Thank you. I’m in a situation now that I need all the help I can get. I’ll leave another comment after I’ve read it and maybe we can get a informative thread going.

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