The Narcissist Will DESTROY Your Identity

You are an individual, meant to be a separate person with your own distinguishing character, personality, qualities, and beliefs. However, narcissists have a weak sense of self and no inner sense of value. They derive their value from others by stealing your energy without reciprocating, until it feels like they become you and you become them. They act calm, composed, and full of life while you become out of control, losing yourself to them. This is exactly what they want—they want to be you and for you to lose your identity.

Narcissists push you to live outside the boundaries of who you are, outside of what you would normally tolerate or accept, until you are no longer acting in harmony with your authentic self. You become less of who you actually are because they mold you into whoever they want you to be, into whatever makes them feel more comfortable and secure, sustaining their false reality. Over time, you lose touch with your feelings and become disconnected, stuck in a state of fear, anger, guilt, or shame.

Emotions are perfectly normal and natural, but narcissists train you to think that emotions are not safe. They condition you to become disconnected from your own feelings, dictating to you what you are feeling as if they know you better than you know yourself. They want you to filter everything through them because they want you to become them so that they can be you. Your brain rewires itself due to the pain from the abuse, weakening certain neural pathways, and you no longer feel the emotions you once did.

You feel erased, like a shell of who you used to be, living in a way that is not in agreement with who you are because you have lost touch with your authentic self. Who you are now is very different from who you used to be because you haven't been allowed to be yourself for a long time. Anytime you tried to be yourself, you were met with punishment, molding you into who they wanted you to be. This means you had to give up authentic pieces of yourself to revolve around the narcissist.

When you endure this treatment for a long period, your personality traits and character traits decline in effectiveness due to underuse or neglect. However, they are not gone forever; they have just weakened like a muscle. When you are around a narcissist, you feel like you have lost control of your life, as though your body is being operated by another person. Your nervous system runs your life, controlling your movements, thoughts, and automatic responses.

Your objectives or desired results feel like a magical story, something you can see but don't feel you can attain. You feel detached from anything that reminds you of the person you used to be because the narcissist makes you question and doubt yourself to control you. They tell you who you are and justify the abuse. Every abuser needs an excuse to dodge accountability and shame.

You have been involved with the wrong people, people who are destructive and no good for you. They play on your weaknesses to break you and prevent you from strengthening or empowering yourself. They push your buttons to turn you into the type of person they want you to be so that they can feel comfortable and sane around you.

Think about the things you were once passionate about, the things that brought you joy and meant something to you. If you look at your life now, it seems like there is no place for any of that. You left everything you once enjoyed, and even though it may seem logical and sensible to engage in those things again, there is a lot of resistance in your body. You feel a lack of desire, enthusiasm, and motivation because the narcissist has rewired your brain.

Narcissistic abuse creates negative neuroplasticity, weakening certain neural pathways in your brain, and you get stuck in negative emotional states and intense negative thinking. You develop limiting beliefs about yourself that restrict you. These thought patterns keep the past alive, and intense negative emotions attached to your past will not change until you recondition and rewire your brain with positive neuroplasticity.

When you are around a narcissist, you can't be yourself. Your brain creates a character to protect you, which has many coping skills but also prevents you from being your authentic self. When you are out of the narcissist's grip, it can still be difficult to form healthy relationships because you are operating from a state of self-defense. Healing and recovering will allow you to break through this protective self and become your authentic self. By then, you will decide not to be around anyone who is toxic.

You must process and release the traumas and emotions stuck inside your body, which can be challenging and will require a lot of self-love. This will help you repair your brain and get your authentic self back. The only alternative is to stay broken, which is not something you want. You must do the internal work, avoid the narcissist, and distance yourself from them by recognizing that they are damaging and destructive people.

You will become aware of this by seeing the change in yourself since you have been around them. Many narcissists know they are toxic and dysfunctional and enjoy laying in their own filth. It brings them pleasure to turn a strong, confident person into a shell of who they used to be. It makes them feel powerful and real. They disempower you and prevent you from engaging in activities that promote your authentic self because they need you to be an extension of them.

They want someone they can mold into who they need them to be so that they can feel comfortable and secure. They don't want you to become the best version of yourself. If they see that, they will come back just to destroy it. They want a desperate fool who will do anything for them, someone at their beck and call. They don't want you to stand in your own power because they are weak and fragile. They want you to follow their lead and believe in anything they say instead of trusting yourself.

They want your devotion so that they can control you, even if it destroys you. All they care about is themselves and what benefits them. They have an inability to connect to you and understand your feelings or situation. They see only themselves and want you to be an extension of them when they see you have something that could benefit them. They will stick around and try to leech off you to use your power and energy to benefit them because they have a weak sense of self.

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