The Narcissist's Lies & Future Faking

Future faking is a form of manipulation where the narcissist lies and makes promises about your possible future to get what they want in the present. It’s all fake and intended to deceive you because they’re not even thinking about the future. This behaviour is not accidental or without deliberate cause. Narcissists live in the present moment—they don’t care about the past or the future.

Lacking honesty and moral principles, narcissists often promise more than is realistic or possible. Inevitably, they fail to fulfil these promises because their words are only meant to pacify you or get you to do what they want. Their ultimate goal is an endless supply of narcissistic validation. They crave praise, compliments, respect, and sometimes even money or a place to live. They also derive satisfaction from manipulating and lying to you, as it gives them control over your actions while simultaneously devaluing you.

Narcissists make you believe that, although you’re not getting what you want now, you will eventually. They create a vision of a better future together, filled with promises of happiness and success. However, these promises are empty. They may even go along with the illusion for a while, but they can never maintain it because they never intended to keep their word. Their focus is solely on extracting as much narcissistic supply as possible in the present.

These false promises are insincere and designed to make them feel good about themselves in the moment. Narcissists are always mentally involved in the present and unconcerned about the future. This is why you should not make excuses for their behaviour. Recognise that they are not reliable or dependable.

At the beginning of the relationship, narcissists often love-bomb you, presenting a false version of themselves. This initial charm leaves you holding on to the hope of what they seemed to be. You may have been excited about the future you envisioned together, but their motives are entirely different. Driven by envy, they want what you have—attention, stability, and status. They see your qualities as something they can take for themselves.

Narcissists are not interested in building or sharing a life with you. Instead, they seek to achieve their own goals by being with you. They may appear kind and charming, but this is merely a façade. Over time, you may experience regret, feeling as though you made a mistake by investing in them. Commitments mean nothing to narcissists; they only do what they think will extract validation from you.

Narcissists often make grand promises—trips together, marriage, buying a house—but these rarely materialise. Instead, they expect you to invest your time, energy, and resources while they contribute little to nothing. They justify their inaction with excuses, leaving you hurt and disappointed.

Their lack of determination and resolve means they are incapable of leading a purposeful life. They don’t care about your happiness or needs, and they lack the empathy required to build a secure relationship. Their promises are merely tools of manipulation, designed to keep you hopeful and patient while they continue to take advantage of you.

Future faking is a tactic used to give you false hope, making you believe that things will improve. This causes you to overlook their destructive behaviours, assuming that the relationship will eventually be worthwhile. However, your mind becomes trapped in the future, preventing you from addressing the red flags in the present.

Narcissists may show slight changes in their behaviour to keep you invested, but these are temporary. It’s often a case of one step forward, two steps back. They use intermittent reinforcement, alternating between moments of hope and chaos, to keep you chasing the illusion of a better future.

Narcissists understand that you are a committed and loyal person. They exploit this by making you believe that your dedication will eventually pay off. However, their promises are designed to restrict your freedom and keep you engaged. Over time, you may lose yourself, settling for far less than what was originally promised.

If confronted, narcissists may ghost you, knowing they’ve already taken what they wanted. Future faking is a strategy to keep you chasing something that isn’t real—a promise they never intended to fulfil. They continue to promote this illusion to extract as much as they can from you in the moment.

Recognising future faking for what it is—a manipulation tactic—is the first step towards breaking free. Understand that the promises of a better future are not genuine. Focus on the present and the reality of the situation. By doing so, you can regain control of your life and protect yourself from further harm.

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