This is another one of the narcissist's modes of behaviour. I have done a video on the narcissist's observer mode. This is where they will watch and observe whatever you are doing. For more information please check out the video, The Narcissist's Observer Mode.
The difference between these two modes is that in the observer mode, they are trying to figure out what you are thinking or feeling
in the present moment.
The narcissist's anticipation mode is when they are expecting or predicting something. It is the narcissist recognising the possibility or the probability of you saying or doing something. Or someone saying or doing something that could be beneficial or favourable to you. This is what the narcissist will be expecting or predicting.
They might be calculating whether or not you or someone else is likely to say, do or be something. They might believe that someone or something is going to arrive soon.
They are estimating what will happen in the future or what will be the consequence of something they've done, something you've done
or something someone else has done.
This is about control. The narcissist is trying to control the situation or the environment. They are trying to control any potential human interaction or stimulation you might receive. They are trying to limit or restrict anything that might be beneficial or favourable for you.
Narcissists are very envious people, they want to destroy everything that is good or treat it as though it is worthless or beneath
their consideration.
But just because they cannot get the same fulfilment from you or the things that you enjoy, it doesn't mean that they are going to
let someone else partake, or let you consume the things that you enjoy.
You have to remember that as an extension of a narcissist, anything that you engage in will affect them. And because they are opposed to anything good, or anything that is beneficial or favourable for you, it will affect them in a negative
way.
It will cause them to feel enraged and then they will take that out on you. This is why the narcissist has developed the anticipation mode. It's about knowing where you are going to be, what you are going to be doing and who you are going to be with, at all times.
They don't always get it right, but they have to make a prediction or have an expectation. They feel great discomfort from not knowing what could potentially happen in the near future. It's risk management.
They are predicting or estimating the risks of anything good or anything that could be beneficial or favourable for you with the
identification of procedures to avoid or minimise their impact.
You have to remember that anything that is good for you will hurt them. Anything that satisfies or fulfils you in any way, anything that makes you feel a positive emotion is a threat to the narcissist's false self and could cause them to experience pain or discomfort.
The narcissist will watch and observe you in the present moment. They will look for clues. A piece of evidence or information to discover or identify what could potentially happen in the near future. Where you are going to go, what you are going to do, who you are going to be seeing.
Some narcissists will hide this evidence or information to avoid a potentially hysterical response from you. They understand that their behaviour is not normal, so most often they will hide this evidence or information from you.
But some narcissists will even give you hints that they already know what you are going to be doing. They will give you a slight or indirect indication or suggestion of what you might be doing in the near future.
This could be something you are going to be doing later that day or later that week. Some narcissists may even plan this out months or even years in advance. You may not realise that they made the indication or suggestion until you actually carry out the specified action or behaviour.
And only upon the completion or the execution of the specified course of action will you then realise that they had made an indication
or suggestion of this before you even did it.
Victims of narcissistic abuse who have experienced the effects of the narcissist's anticipation mode, may be fooled into believing
that the narcissist may have some supernatural ability to perceive events in the future or beyond normal sensory contact.
But what they are actually doing is they are examining you or your current situation methodically and in great detail, in order to
explain and interpret it.
From their interpretation of your current situation, they then create these expectations or predications based on probability or from when they have studied or observed you in the past. They pick up on patterns or routines.
They identify problems or things that need to be dealt with in your current situation and then assume the probability of when and how
you are doing to resolve the issue or deal with whatever requires your attention.
There is also the possibility that they are guiding and controlling your actions and behaviours, by use of suggestion.
They have likely isolated you and taught you to neglect your own intuition, your own ideas or what you think is right, how you believe
something should be done. And they have taught you that everything that they do is indisputably correct.
Over time this becomes a belief, where you really believe that everything they are doing is right and everything you are doing is
wrong.
They might begin by giving you direct verbal suggestions of what you should be doing, but later these direct verbal suggestions can
be reduced to something more subtle or covert.
These covert suggestions are a form of hypnosis. The aim of this is to influence the victim unconscious without them knowing. From my experience it does work and it can cause you to act in a way that you wouldn't normally act and even feel a certain feeling or do a specific behaviour.
The narcissist might use this tactic to get you to do something that benefits them or they might get you to do something that you
wouldn't normally do, so that they can later blame you for it.
Be cautious that this could be something the narcissist is doing. It does work. Suggestion is very powerful and repetition fuels belief. McDonalds doesn't spend billions of dollars on advertising for nothing. Suggestion and repetition are even more powerful when you are isolated or have no other influences.
Be cautious and be aware that this is something the narcissist could be doing to you.