The Narcissist NEEDS The Relationship To Break

There is one tactic that narcissists always use in every relationship they enter: the bait-and-switch tactic. This is a fraudulent activity where they lure you in with false claims. Once they know they have you, they switch things up because they need to interrupt, disturb, and interfere with the relationship. They need to prevent it from continuing normally.

Narcissists are not interested in normal, functional relationships. Their brains are wired differently due to unmet emotional needs in childhood. They never received the love and care they needed; instead, they were abused or neglected. As a result, they now find pleasure in watching others experience discomfort, distress, nervousness, embarrassment, humiliation, and pain.

While you may enjoy connecting and getting to know someone, narcissists thrive on watching you lose control. This is why they use the push-pull cycle. It serves their insatiable need for validation and control. When they pull you in, your adoration validates their inflated sense of self-worth. When they push you away, they regain control by keeping you anxious and off-balance.

Narcissists struggle to maintain relationships and communication. They are afraid of intimacy due to disordered attachment in childhood. For them, closeness or love was often associated with emotional pain and suffering. They may have been showered with over-the-top attention at times, but at other times, they experienced cold detachment or emotional abuse. This inconsistency made it unsafe for them to feel attached to their parent or caregiver.

As a result, they now feel rejected and unloved, leading to avoidant, disorganised, anxious, and resistant attachment styles. They are terrified of criticism or rejection and cannot be intimate or vulnerable. They never want to relive the emotional pain they experienced in childhood. Instead, they choose to be on the other side of it, enjoying the process of watching others go through the same turmoil they endured.

Narcissists typically start relationships with love-bombing. They create a feeling of intense excitement and happiness, making you feel confident and valued. Love-bombing releases dopamine in your brain, which contributes to feelings of alertness, focus, and motivation. Dopamine is the reward chemical, and it is highly addictive. Narcissists know how to lure you in by acting charming and charismatic, making you believe you are about to experience something extraordinary.

However, once they have trapped you and know you are not going anywhere, they suddenly disappear. They stop texting or calling, leaving you wondering what happened. Initially, they led you to believe you were going to share a future together. Now, you are left trying to get back to how things were before, but no matter what you do, you can never quite get there.

Narcissists might give you bits and pieces of the affection you crave, only to push you to the edge again. They enjoy seeing you agitated and confused, doing everything you can to please them. This behaviour mirrors what they experienced in childhood, giving them a thrill to watch someone else go through it.

As an empath, you may keep giving more of yourself because you feel sorry for them. They might share stories about their ex or difficult situations at home, making you feel needed. But then, they ghost you or stop responding as they did before. This makes you feel unappreciated and causes you to behave unusually, which they find entertaining.

When you finally decide to leave, they pull you back in, saying whatever they think you want to hear. Over time, they train you to react in ways that fulfil their emotional needs, which were never met in childhood. They thrive on drama, trauma, and chaos because it excites them and makes them feel alive.

Narcissists cannot be vulnerable or self-reflective because they abandoned their true selves long ago. They are only looking for sources of supply and do not care about the harm they cause. They have no empathy, which is why it is crucial to use the grey rock method. Stop investing your emotions in them. They are parasites who need a host, and they attach themselves to you because you have an abundance of value.

They use dishonest tactics to gain an advantage over you, breaking the relationship only to pull you back in and drain you further. This cycle is not good for you. You deserve better, and you deserve more. Recognise their manipulation and gaslighting for what it is, and take steps to protect yourself.

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